


Keep You Safe

by warmsme2theCocklesofmyheart



Series: Wandering Souls [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Taking place in Season 3 and forward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-07
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-01-23 22:13:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 20
Words: 49,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1581317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/warmsme2theCocklesofmyheart/pseuds/warmsme2theCocklesofmyheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cosmina is living in a new town, with a new job, and things are going pretty well. When she meets the Winchesters everything turns upside down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work of Fan Fiction, and of course I decided on a long project -_- I'm not always great at keeping on track between work and reading other pieces of fanfic. So bear with me.

Driving home from work, I couldn't help but be glad tonight was class night. It had been a long day in the grooming salon. No one ever understood how tiring it was being a Bather. Bending over barking dogs, who are terrified of the water and the blow dryer. Hundred plus pound dogs that have to be picked up and shoved into kennels. Dogs that got aggressive and would bite and scratch when you tried to clip their nails, all while their stupid, inconsiderate owners watched through the windows or over the gate saying, "Don't hurt him!" or "It's your fault, he never acts like this at home." Well, If he doesn't act like this at home, then why don't you do it at home!

"Ugh... I really can't wait for class," I thought to myself.

Class always made me happy. Teaching owners how to train their puppies, laughing at their mistakes, talking theory and psychology afterwards with Doug, my mentor, always helped me relax and remind me why I love dogs and why I do what I do. Tonight was no different. I had recently moved to a new city, a little farther away, but I still made time for it every Tuesday night.

After class, while Doug and I were talking, he asked how I was liking BG, and told me to be careful. Apparently, there had been several murders reported in the paper. I shrugged it off laughing, and told him I had my pepper spray, and that if I felt afraid I'd just pick up Luna, the Bull Terrier we had protection trained over the spring, who I absolutely adored. We chatted a little while longer, and then went our separate ways home.

On the long ride back all I could think about was how hungry I was. I decided to stop at an all night diner in town that made the best food. I had to park much farther away from the diner than normal, Karaoke night at the bars was always popular.

"Hey, Cosmina! How are you tonight?"

"Pretty good. Got kinda hungry after class." I replied to my favorite cook.

"Isn't it a little late for class?"

"Oh no! Not school school," I laughed."Dog class. I was teaching a dog training class."

"That's right! I forgot you were a dog trainer. Anyways... The usual?"

"Of course! It never changes."

"Did you want a pancake tonight?" He asked as he got my apple juice.

"Ya know... I'm feelin' pretty peckish tonight. Let's go for it." I said, right before the bell chimed, announcing other customers had arrived.


	2. Don't Talk to Strangers

As the bell chimed, Nick called out,

"Sit wherever you like." Then, in a low voice to me, "I don't know what your type is, but I think, no matter what, you could make an exception for them."

I simply rolled my eyes, not even bothering to turn around. Nick made jokes about my single status all the time. Usually the men he pointed out to me were old creepy men who stared at me and made my skin crawl.

At 21, I was young and attractive. Taller than most boys with a 5'10" frame. Slender, I frequently dyed my hair different colors, it was red for the time being. I had recently chopped off nearly a foot of hair, it now came up to an inch above my shoulders. I loved the way it felt, though sometimes I wished I could still put it up in a ponytail. I was frequently asked if I modeled by boys young and old, kind old women, and photographers hoping to take my picture, I always smiled politely and said no I wasn't. Not that I hadn't thought about it, I had done a few photo shoots, I liked it, I was a natural, but it wasn't what I wanted to do with my life. So I stuck with my dog training.

As Nick made my food, I could hear the newcomers talking in low voices. I caught a few words here and there. It sounded like they were talking about the rash of thunderstorms and tornadoes we had been having.

"I got caught in one of those storms earlier this summer. Trying to run back to the car the wind made it nearly impossible to walk, th-" I spoke as I turned around, when I caught sight of them I stumbled a bit, hadn't expected them to actually be so handsome. But it was only a slight pause, hardly noticeable. "The hail hurt like hell. And lightning struck right by me, nearly blew out my ear drums."

They both looked at me, rather stunned. As if they weren't sure why I was talking to them.

"Sorry. I heard you say something about storms, I'm used to striking up conversations with anybody. Sorry to break in. I'll leave you alone now." I said and smiled as I started to turn back around.

"No! No! It's alright," said the one with candy apple green eyes.

"Out of curiosity," started the taller one with long hair, "Did that storm you were stuck in come up suddenly?"

"Well..." I paused recalling that night. "It had been clear all day, and through the evening. It was nice out. I was walking through the town and across the campus, out for a stroll with a friend. It didn't feel like the calm before a storm. I wasn't expecting the rain. It started to sprinkle slowly, but gained momentum rapidly after that. Until it was hailing, and there was flooding. The wind nearly knocked me over backwards it was so strong."

The two shared a look, then,

"Thank you. That information is very helpful." The tall one said.

I could tell I was being dismissed. The green-eyed one was studying me, trying not to be to obvious about it, but after having been a waitress for several years, I was good at reading people.

"Anytime." I shot over my shoulder as I turned around, feigning nonchalance.

Nick quirked an eyebrow at me and I responded with a withering glare as he went around the counter to take their order.

"I'll have a bacon cheeseburger."

"Can I get a salad?" I could almost hear Nick's chagrin. He hated it when people wanted salads. The diner didn't carry them.

"No, sorry. We don't have any salads."

"Hahaha! Whatcha gonna do now, Sammy?" Sammy?

"I guess I'll have an egg white omelet? Lots of veggies." I couldn't help chuckling to myself. I could almost hear Nick's eyes rolling. Nick came back around and got their food started. We chatted about the puppies in class. I told him a funny story about one. An aussie puppy who, when called during an exercise where the dogs have to come to their owners through a row of treats on either side, didn't stop and just eat one like most puppies, but instead ran and pushed them all into a pile before stopping to eat them. We had a good laugh over that as he set my food down in front of me; a monstrous pancake, 4 slices of bacon, and a bowl of cottage cheese with a side of crackers.

As I started to dig in, I heard a voice behind me say,

"I like a girl who's not afraid to eat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think. I appreciate comments and critiques. I do ask that you at least be polite. <3


	3. Don't be Afraid of the Dark

I squeaked as I jumped nearly a foot in the air and whirled around.

"You rat bastard! You scared the shit out of me!"

"Sorry, I'm not used to such jumpy people," said Mr. Green Eyes, as he chuckled evilly.

"Maybe it's just that older than sin pick-up line that startled me so bad. You seem like a man that wouldn't need a cheesy pick-up line," I countered, starting to recover my wits, and my dignity.

"Did it occur to you I was just commenting on the fact that I don't find many girls who don't count every bite of food, or eat rabbit food like my brother over there." He said as he inclined his head toward his brother and snuck a hand out trying to steal a piece of bacon. His hand didn't leave the plate with my bacon before I had stabbed his hand with my fork.

"Son of a bitch!"

"No one... Touches my bacon. No one." I said locking eyes with him. He narrowed his eyes as he rubbed his hand where I stabbed him.

"Sam. Not gonna do anything?"

"No. I think you got yourself into it, and as long as she doesn't aim for anything too vital you can handle it." Sam replied, clearly enjoying seeing a girl get the best of his brother. "Why don't you try introducing yourself instead of stealing her food?"

Turning to me he said,

"Hi. I'm Dean. I'd shake your hand but I seem to have hurt it somehow."

"Oh you poor thing. Let me get you something for that." I proceeded to pull a band-aid out of my purse.

As I held his hand to put the bandage on it I could tell that he was a man who worked with his hands. There were callouses on his hand. Bruises across his knuckles, as though he frequently got into fights. Probably had broken a few fingers in his lifetime. A strong working man's hands. I couldn't help but admire that. My own hands were covered in scratches from working with dogs and playing with my rats. Attraction flared up with the realization that this man knew how to work. I despised a man with no drive or motivation, a useless thing who allowed others to pander to their every need.

I pulled away, mentally shaking myself at my ridiculous reaction to his hands, and picked up my fork again. Dean threw up his hands in mock fear, and I couldn't help laugh as I said,

"Don't worry. Your hands are safe so long as they don't touch my bacon again." Dean chuckled,

"I learned my lesson. Don't get between you and your bacon."

"You'd probably be safer just not getting between me and my food in general." I smiled.

"Understood. Miss...?"

"Hmmmm..." I pretended to muse on it for a little while as I proceeded to start eating again.  
"My name is Cosmina Rameses."

"Cosmina? What kinda name is that?"

"Cosmina is Romanian for beautiful," I heard Sam explain behind me.

"Yeah. It is. It's funny. I'm not Romanian at all. My mother read the name in a book, and loved it."

"It means beautiful?" Dean said. "Fitting."

"Again with the cheesy pick-up lines."

"I'm just stating the obvious." I rolled my eyes.

Strong hands, beautiful green eyes, faux-hawked blonde hair, strong jaw, killer cheekbones. He was gorgeous, but he was clearly a player. Just another guy wanting to get me into bed. As much as I would have loved to have a fling with him, I knew I'd just wind up hurt in the end. We flirted for a while longer, Sam and Nick joining in as I finished my food and Sam and Dean started in on theirs. They were nearly done before I got up to leave. It was late, and I'd had a long day. Dean ran to the bathroom for a minute. Sam handed me a piece of paper with a number on it.

"What's this?"

"It's Dean's number. If you ever get into trouble, give us a call."

"Why are you giving this to me?"

"I've heard there have been some incidents here lately. You seem like a nice girl. If anything happens we'll help you. We'll be in town for a little while longer." Sam was watching me with a strangely intense look. I could tell he really meant it.

"Thank you. I hope I don't have need of it. But it is appreciated." I said as I took it. I swore I could hear Sam mutter under his breath,

"I pray you never do."

But before I could question him Dean came back, so I decided it was a good time to make my exit. I said goodbye, all the while Dean trying to get my number. I smiled and laughed, thinking about his number tucked in my pocket. Wishing I could give mine to him without getting hurt. I told them it was a pleasure to meet them, said farewell to Nick, and walked out of the diner.

It was a long, cold walk back to my car. Despite it being late summer, it got cold late at night. I had to walk past bars and by alley ways. Normally, I wasn't afraid, but after the warning from Doug, and then Sam's odd insistence on being safe back at the diner, I began to wish I had asked them to walk me back to my car. I was starting to give myself the creeps.

I got out my keys and kept my finger on the trigger for my pepper spray. I tried to tell myself I was over reacting. But a feeling of being followed started to take root. It traveled down my spine. I couldn't help looking over my shoulder, but no one was behind me. When I turned back around the feeling of being followed had only grown.

Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore. I pulled out the slip of paper Sam had given me and punched the numbers into my phone. As it rang I bounced up and down, partly trying to keep warm, but mostly because I was nervous and scared.

"Who is this?"

"Hi Dean. It's Cosmina."

"Couldn't stay away, huh?" I rolled my eyes. "How'd you get this number anyway?"

"Sam gave me your number before I left."

"He did what?" And then to Sam I heard, "You gave her my number? This number?"

"Dean! I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called. It's stupid. But I parked far away and I feel like someone's stalking me. I was hoping you could come walk me to my car."

"Yeah. Should have thought of that myself. Where are you?"

"Go straight out of the diner, then go left on the second street you get to. Then a right on the next street."

"Alright. I'll be right there. Stand near a street light if you can. Keep your eyes open. Don't trust anyone."

"Thank you."

"My pleasure." Then he hung up. But I could tell he meant that.

I smiled as I looked around for the nearest street light. It was behind me, but not too far away. I started to walk back towards it, thinking about what I'd done, when out of nowhere someone hit me in the back of the head. And I fell, losing consciousness as I hit the sidewalk.


	4. Do You Believe in Nightmares?

I could smell something awful... Like rotten eggs maybe. I think it was the smell that brought me back to consciousness. I opened my eyes, but I couldn't see much around me. "It must still be night." I thought to myself. At least, I hoped that it was still night, I was really praying that a whole day hadn't passed.

My head was killing me. Moving it hurt so badly, even thinking seemed to make it throb more, but I knew I had to fight through it. I had no idea how to... I didn't even know what I needed to do. Had I been kidnapped? Was I just tossed in an alley after they hit me? Had I been raped? What happened? I struggled to remember through the fog in my brain.

What had happened? I needed to figure that out. I could remember that I had been walking to my car, then I got scared and called Dean. I had been waiting for Dean. DEAN! What happened to Dean? Did he come looking for me? Had he thought I just decided to keep walking? Did he try to call me to find out where I went?

Suddenly I groaned,

"I'm such an idiot! Why didn't I think of that first? My phone!" I began frantically searching my pockets, praying I hadn't dropped it, or that it hadn't been taken away by whoever hit me.

By some stroke of pure luck, my phone was in one of my pockets. I checked the screen hoping I'd have reception. 17 missed calls. 9 voice-mails. 23 text messages. "Geez... Don't you think you're over-doing it a little?" But I wasn't going to complain. I didn't bother going through any of the messages, I just pulled up his number and called him.

"Cosmina! What happened? Where are you? You weren't where you said you'd be, then you didn't answer your phone. What happened?" Dean demanded when he answered.

"I was walking over to the street light, when someone behind me hit me on the back of my head."

"Where are you?"

"I'm not sure... It's really dark. I can't see very much. It was the smell of sulfur that brought me around. This place reeks of it." There was silence on the line. Then,

"Are you positive it's sulfur?"

"I know what sulfur smells like Dean." I replied with a withering tone. "I may have been born a blonde but I'm not stupid."

"Shit! OK. Cosmina. This is gonna sound crazy. But I think you've been abducted by a demon."

"I'm sorry. Did you just say I was abducted by a demon, or is my concussion just acting up?"

"Yes. A demon."

Perhaps I should have been more skeptical of what he was telling me, but he seemed so sure, and having been raised in a Catholic home I did believe that demons existed. I didn't understand why one would choose to abduct and possibly murder me, but who knows why demons would do any of the things they might do? Dean continued,

"You need to look around. Find salt if you can. Pour it in a circle around you, and don't, whatever you do, don't step outside that circle."

"Why the fuck would there be salt lying around?"

"It's a long shot, I know. But please look for it."

"Alright." I said, as I stumbled to my feet. Then, "Shit!" As I fell back over.

"What? What happened? Did the demon come back?"

"No. I fell over when I tried to stand up. Calm down, Dean," I placated, even though inside I knew being calm was the last rational thing I should be doing. I had been kidnapped by what was supposedly a demon.

The room I was in was small, but still a decent size. A storage room, perhaps. I described it to Dean as I inched my way around.

"Dean, I can't find any salt. What am I gonna do?" I nearly cried. I was starting to lose the little bit of hold I had over my emotions.

"You're gonna keep it together. Can't go losin' your head right now. I'm gonna send you a picture of a symbol you need to draw on the floor. Use anything you can find, preferably something permanent. It'll trap the demon inside. Draw them in a circle around you, and one in front of the door if you can. But draw the circle around you first."

My phone vibrated with the picture he sent. It was a pentagram inside of a circle with squiggly lines around it. "I can do this." I told myself. I found a few old jars of paint, and set to work. All while listening to Dean's deep. soothing voice telling me that Sam and he were on their way. They were tracking the GPS in my phone to where I was.

When I finished painting all of the Devil's Traps, as Dean told me they were called, I sat back down in the middle of a ring of them to wait. I couldn't figure out why the demon, if that's what really had kidnapped me, had yet to make an appearance. Perhaps, it wasn't here, had just left me here knowing I wouldn't be able to get out. Maybe it planned to come back for me in a bit. It couldn't still be here. It would have heard me talking to Dean, and then come to take care of me. It just didn't sit right with me.

I was so intent on my thoughts, I almost didn't hear Dean tell me that they were there,

"Cosmina, we're right outside. We're coming in to get you. I'm gonna have to get off the phone, but you'll see me in just a minute."

"OK. Please hurry." I practically whimpered.

I always prided myself on being strong, on being able to keep my emotions in check, only showing people what they wanted to see. But Dammit! I was terrified. Things were starting to sink in. I realized how much danger I was in. I could barely think straight. What if it wasn't even a demon that had kidnapped me? What if it was just a human? What if it was a serial killer? I could die. Maybe Sam and Dean weren't even at the right place. My head was spinning with all the thoughts and all the fear when I heard someone softly calling my name,

"Cosmina?"

"Dean! I'm in here!" I called back, trying to keep my voice down, but my relief making me careless.

"Cosmina, stay where you are. It's gonna take a sec to pick the lock on the door." I heard Dean's voice.

"OK." I said, nearly collapsing from the relief of the pent up fear and anxiety leaving my body.

As the door swung open, Dean, followed closely by Sam, ran in, both holding shotguns; Dean was holding a knife as well. I could feel tears start to slip down my face, but made myself stop that. I was not going to be that type of girl. Dean knelt down next to me and wrapped me in a hug.

"Most girls don't go to so much trouble just to make sure they see me again," he teased as he let me go. I couldn't help but give a small laugh as I replied,

"I'm clearly not most girls." Sam and Dean started to chuckle and help me up as I heard a beautiful female voice, that sent shivers of fear down my spine, say,

"I was hoping you boys would show up."


	5. No Escape for those Who Fight Wicked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *WARNING* This chapter features violence and torture.

We all whirled around to find the source of the voice, and froze when she sauntered through a hidden door. She was gorgeous. Long, flowing, golden brown hair with sparkling brown eyes, and despite her moderately petite frame, she had curves in all the right places. We were all taken aback... Not quite sure how to handle this. What did she want? What was she doing here? Was she the one who had kidnapped me, or was she a victim herself?

"Who are you?" Dean demanded in a gruff voice.

"Oh, Dean, don't you recognize me? You've heard all about me. No? Sam? How about you. If you'd just unlock your powers you'd know exactly who I was," the woman said. Her voice giving me chills. "Well, I guess I'll just have to give you a hint," she smirked.

I gasped as she rolled her eyes back into her head, and where her eyes had previously been, now just glowed white. I could hear Dean swearing beside me. He unobtrusively pushed me behind him.

"Lilith," Sam spat out. Voice filled with contempt.

"Wait... Lilith? You're telling me that this is Lilith? First wife of Adam?" I stuttered.

"Not exactly sweet cheeks. I was created by Lucifer. I'm the first demon."

"Well... That's... Interesting..." I muttered, becoming more fearful by the moment. What the fuck were we gonna do now?

Lilith started to walk forward, but stopped before she got to the Devil's traps I had so carefully painted on the floor. Looking down she started to chuckle. Looking around she picked up a screwdriver and began scraping a line through the paint. She then proceeded to walk right up to us. Giving Dean a slinky smile as she passed him, she stopped in front of Sam and began to kiss him... Deeply. When he pushed her away in disgust, she gave him a look filled with venom.

"One of these days Sam, you'll have to give in. Don't forget, I'm the only one who can save your brother." She reminded him with a cold tone. 

"What does she mean "save your brother?" He's right here." I wondered.

With no warning, Dean and Sam were suddenly thrown against opposite walls.

"Let's see how you feel after I take apart your pretty little plaything here, shall we?" I was unable to move, arms held to my sides by invisible bonds.

"You leave her alone you slimy son of a bitch!" Dean yelled from his prone position on the wall.

"Oh no Dean... I think she'll look much better with a few.... Mmmm... Adjustments, shall we say?" She smiled, malice glinting from her glowing eyes.

"You touch her and I will end you right here!" Dean yelled, eyes wild. "Exorcizamus te, omnis immun-"

Lilith just flicked her eyes over at him and giggled.

"Winchesters should be seen and not heard," she quipped as she flicked her fingers at him, somehow silencing him.

Her eye returned to me with a predatory gaze. "What to do, what to do with you? Hmmm..." She mused as she wandered around me, eyeing me like a piece of meat she was about to carve into, which I imagined was pretty much exactly what was about to happen.

Lilith picked up the knife Dean had dropped when she slammed him against the wall. With Sam and Dean watching her every move, she grabbed one of my arms; turning it this way and that. She lazily dragged the tip of the knife up and down my arm, blood slowly oozing in its' path.

Something strange was happening inside my head. The fear that had been present since the moment I woke up, was changing. It wasn't that I was no longer afraid, 'cause Lord knows I was still quaking in my boots. But this bitch was making me angry. She'd hit me over the head, locked me up in a storage room, threatened all of us, thrown the boys against a wall, and was now planning to decorate my skin with horrible scars.

"Go ahead. Cut me up bitch. Give it your worst, you fish-eyed, decrepit, old hag." My words seemed foolish to me, but seemed to enrage Lilith.

"Don't call me a hag, you insignificant little speck!" Steam was practically pouring from her ears. I guess I had touched on a sore spot. Lilith dropped the knife, and moving faster than the eye could see, stood behind me, grabbed my arm, and shoved the rest of me forward. The sound of my shoulder popping out of it's socket was muffled by unintelligible expletives and death threats pouring out of the boys' mouths. My own sob caught in my throat. I was determined not to let Lilith see how much she hurt me. I looked up at her from my position on the floor and said,

"Just a little pinch is all, you whore," and smiled up at her as sweetly as I could through gritted teeth.

My words angered her further. Using her demonic power she stood me up and ripped the shirt open on my back.

"Which would you like to see boys? Her face contorting in agony, or the blood dripping down her back? You know what? I'll just put her directly between you, so you get a glimpse of both. Brilliant!" Satisfied with her plan, Lilith moved me forward until I was placed directly between them, as she made a whip appear in her hand. Lilith moved close to me, touching the skin on my back, caressing it,

"Such beautiful skin you have. Soft and warm..." She cooed, right before she hurled back and struck the whip across my back.

The pain was like a line of fire racing across my back, my head jerked upwards, teeth clenched to keep any sound back, refusing to make eye contact with either of the boys.

"That all you got, you disease-ridden slut?" Forcing levity into my voice that I didn't feel.

"Oh no, little one. I haven't even started."

Lilith proceeded to whip me over and over, no longer pausing to chat... 5... 10... 15 lashes went by. Tears were now pouring down my face, whimpers slipping past my lips despite my best efforts. Stroke after stroke lacing into my skin. I lost count by the time Lilith dropped the whip and let me fall to the floor.

I couldn't move. My back felt as though it had been dipped in molten lava. I felt broken. I could only pray Lilith had gotten bored and would leave me alone. Both boys were silent in their horror at what they had witnessed. I had fallen facing Dean, he looked in my eyes and I could feel his pity. He looked miserable. How must it have felt to watch my torture and be completely incapable of helping?

Lilith stepped between the 2 of us, breaking our gaze. She leaned over me and gloated,

"Had enough yet?"

"Oh, I didn't even realize you had started." I glared up at her.

Lilith looked down at me with nothing but hatred in her eyes. She stood back. Smiled thinly, kicked me over, put her foot on my calf, grabbed my ankle, and pulled back with inhuman strength. This time I couldn't stop the scream that pierced the air. I threw my arm out, and by sheer luck, my fingertips brushed the handle of the knife Dean had carried in.

I grabbed it, thankful Lilith still had her back turned. I clenched it behind me, I could feel the blood seeping out from the wounds in my back. I was loosing a lot of blood, soon I would start to lose consciousness, we needed to get away, needed to escape. Hopefully, the knife I was now hiding behind my back would give us a chance.

As she stood over me, she grabbed a handful of hair and yanked me forward so we were face to face.

"I think we're done here, you petulant little cunt." She smiled smugly, her hot breath against my face.

"I think you're right," I replied as I stabbed upwards with all my might, aiming for her heart, burying it deep into her chest.

The shock was written plainly on her face as she staggered backwards, clutching at the knife hilt protruding from her chest. I dropped to the floor with a thud, crying out as my back hit the floor and jarred my broken leg and dislocated shoulder.

The power holding Sam and Dean against the wall evaporated as black smoke poured from Lilith's mouth,.

Dean rushed over to me,

"Cosmina, are you OK? I'm so sorry this happened. I'm gonna get you outta here safe." I was tired. I just wanted to get out of there and get some sleep.

"Alright."

"It's gonna hurt when I pick you up..."

"I think I can handle it, Dean." I couldn't help but chuckle darkly.

Dean started to lift me up, but stopped when I cried out.

"What? What can I do to make it easier?"

"My shoulder is still dislocated. If you could pop it in that might help." I replied.

"OK. Sit up and hold still," Dean said as he helped me lean forward. "Hold still, it'll just take a-" And then he wrenched my shoulder back into it's socket without warning.

"Ooohhhh...." I couldn't help the groan or the tears that gathered in my eyes and spilled down my face.

"I'm sorry, Mina. Let's get outta here. Sammy! Grab the weapons, and make sure to cover us as we leave."

When we got outside, I was still aware enough to appreciate the beauty of the jet black '67 Chevy Impala we were hurrying towards.

"I don't wanna get any blood on the seats, Dean." Dean chuckled,

"Don't worry 'bout it, Baby's seen plenty of violence."

"I'm serious." For some reason, not getting blood on the seats was strangely important to my addled mind. I felt, more than heard Dean sigh before he called out to Sam,

"Sam, grab some towels. Mina, I'll press the towels to your back, it'll hurt, but it'll also help stop the bleeding. I'll hold you on my lap to make double sure. Sam can drive. We need to get you to a hospital." Too weary to protest any more, I nodded my agreement.

Sam came over to Dean, folding the towels to fit against my back. He helped Dean adjust his hold on me so that he could hold the towels and get into the car with me cradled in his arms.

"I'm sorry if that hurts."

"I can barely feel it," I muttered, my eyes getting heavier as I laid with my head on Dean's shoulder. I didn't see the glance the brothers shared as we pealed away from the building I prayed to never see again.

"Drive fast Sammy, she's lost a lot of blood."

"I can see that Dean."

And then it was quiet again. It wasn't a long car ride, but whether that was due to the fact that Sam was probably driving 5 times the speed limit, or that I was in a daze; I don't know. When we got to the hospital Dean carried me inside, right up to the receptionist,

"She needs help right now."

The nurse jumped up yelling for a doctor. Dean refused to let go of me until the doctors came to take me away.

"I'll come see you as soon as they let me."

"Thank you, Dean."

"For what?" He seemed genuinely puzzled by my gratitude.

"What do you mean "for what"? You came and found me. Risked your life for me," I said as indignantly as my current state allowed me to muster. "Thank you."

"Don't worry about it right now. We'll talk again when you can have visitors." He patted my hand and stood up as the doctors took me away. The last glimpse I had as I was wheeled away, was of him standing there alone, head bowed as if a great weight rested on his shoulders.


	6. Leave it Behind

Lying in my hospital bed hurt like hell. The whip lashes on my back had been cleaned, and the doctors had put a dressing over them, but there wasn't much else that could be done. My broken left leg had been set and put in a lime green cast, and my right arm would be in a sling for a few days, according to the doctors. They had asked me questions about what happened. I told as much of the truth as I could, omitting a few less than sane details.

The television was on, but it was nothing more than background noise, my mind had much more important things to focus on. Such as the fact that demons not only existed, but that I had seen and killed one. At least I think I killed her, but what did I know? I may have just incapacitated her. If that was the case, I would now have a price on my head.

Trying to find a comfortable position, I rolled onto my side. It provided relief for my aching back, but not my whirling mind. What was going to happen now?

I was startled out of my reverie by the gruff clearing of a throat. Turning my head, I could see Dean standing in the doorway.

"Didn't wanna make ya jump," Dean mumbled nervously.

"It's alright. Come in." I said as I laid my head back down. I could hear Dean's footsteps coming around to the side I was facing.

"How ya feelin'?" He asked as he stood in front of me.

"About as well as could be expected, I suppose."

Dean didn't seem to know what to say. He started pacing in front of me, nervous energy radiating off of him. Watching him I began to worry about everything all over again. Whatever was going on behind that gorgeous masculine face set in a pensive expression was clearly upsetting him.

"Dean," he turned around, "what are you thinking about?" He just kind of stared at me for awhile, mulling over what he wanted to say.

"Mina... Do you remember everything that happened?"

"Yes. I remember everything." His shoulders slumped in relief. "I told the doctors as much of the truth as possible without sounding as though I needed to be placed in a mental institution."

"Did they believe you?"

"Yeah, any holes in my story they just blamed on the torture." I could see Dean wince as I said the word 'torture'.

"I'm so sorry, Mina. If there had been any way for me to prevent that I would have," the look on his face was so full of guilt, I felt the need to ease his pain.

"Dean, I don't blame you. If it weren't for you and Sam, I would probably still be in that room. I can't thank you enough for rescuing me." Dean chuckled at my words,

"I think you rescued us, just as much as we rescued you." he smiled.

"Did I kill her?" The smile on his face vanished.

"I... I don't know." It looked as though the admission physically hurt him. "Lilith isn't like other demons. That knife should keep her down for awhile, but I don't know that she'll stay down."

"If she comes back... She's gonna come after me... Isn't she?" My words made him hang his head. I realized this was what had made him so nervous. He nodded as he replied,

"She hated you. Hated the way you didn't break, the way you mocked her." I nodded along with his words. "It made her careless." I couldn't help a small wry smile.

"I know." Dean's head jerked back up, anger glinting in the depths of these green oceans.

"Was that what you wanted? Did you purposefully piss her off?"

"I wouldn't say purposefully... I didn't have a specific plan in mind. She just made me angry, and I wanted to frustrate her if I could." Dean's jaw was clenched in a firm line.

"Do you have any idea how stupid that was?! She could have killed you!"

"I know. Her plan was to kill us all anyway. I don't think it really mattered." I stated.

"Of course it mattered! We would have figured out a way! It would've all been for nothin' if you'd died! Sam and I would've risked our necks for nothin' if you'd'a gone and gotten yourself killed." His voice rising with anger.

His words hurt. I'd been trying to protect them, buy some time. I didn't realize how they might look at it. I was so grateful for what they had done. If not for them I would have died for sure.

Dean must have seen my face fall, because he came up to the bed and patted my shoulder trying to make amends. Unfortunately, that was the shoulder that had been dislocated, and I couldn't stop myself from wincing at his touch.

"Oh my God, Mina! I'm so sorry! I forgot." Dean's face was so sincere and apologetic.

I merely smiled and laughed it off.

"Don't worry about it. Why do you keep calling me Mina?" I wondered.

Dean scratched the back of his neck as he explained,

"Cosmina is a pretty name, don't get me wrong. But it's kind of a mouthful. So... Mina. Is that OK?" He queried with almost a hint of fear.

"It's perfectly fine. I've just never had a nickname before."

Dean smiled at me and I couldn't help but return it. My smile faded as a thought returned to me.

"What happens now? If Lilith comes back, she'll be after me... And next time she won't go so easy on me." I looked up at him with worry. He sighed.

"It's up to you, but Sam and I have been talking. We have a friend that could help keep you safe. You'd have to leave everything behind. Your family, friends, job. All of it. But we think it's your best option to be safe." He said with sincerity.

I thought about it. It was a lot to ask... To do...

"If I stay, would I be putting the people I care about in danger?"

"There's a good possibility she'll go after your family if you stay." OK, only one more obstacle.

"Can I take my pets with me?" Dean hesitated before answering me.

"If they're that important to you, yes, they can come with us. Just please make sure they don't mess up my Baby." I could guess how big of a sacrifice this was for him.

"Thank you. They're in cages, they won't mess up your car."

"What kind of animals are they?" I could see the curiosity at what sorts of animals I'd keep in cages.

"You'll see soon enough," I said.

I didn't want him to change his mind before it was too late. Most people were afraid of my rats. They were sweet, and would never harm anyone, but most people couldn't get over the fact that they're rats. I smiled at Dean and hoped he'd let it slide.

 

\-------

 

A few days later, my shoulder was still sore, but was now out of its' sling, and the nurses were in the middle of changing the dressing on my back before they discharged me. Dean and Sam walked in while my back was exposed, I turned around to see them standing there awkwardly, both staring at my back.

"Come on in., boys. I'm almost ready to leave." The boys walked in a bit farther, but stopped before they got to close to the nurse applying a new bandage.

"Remember sweet heart, take it off in a couple of days, and wash it once a day after that for a week. Don't put a new bandage on, you want to let it breathe. Here's an antiseptic cream that you should put on it after you wash. The cast can come off in 2 months. Take care of yourself." Her concern touched me. I thanked her and gave her a hug once she was done. I pulled my shirt on over my head as I turned to the boys.

"When are we leaving?"

"Figured we'd spend the night tonight so you can pack up your stuff, then leave in the morning." Sam said.

"Where are you boys staying tonight?" I asked with apprehension.

"We were just gonna stay at the motel another night," replied Sam.

"You could stay with me ya know... Although, I only have the one bed. So someone would be sleeping on the couch. Sorry. That's a stupid idea. Never mind." I said, hanging my head.

"Mina, are you afraid to be alone?" Dean asked with understanding.

"Yes." I admitted, hanging my head.

"I'll stay with you tonight. We have to get your car anyways. That way we have room for all of your stuff." Dean said trying to make me feel better.

"No. It's alright. You don't have to."

"I'm gonna. So deal with it." Dean told me firmly. I knew he had made up his mind on what he was going to do.

 

\--------

 

Sam dropped Dean and I off at my car, an '02 Hyundai Accent. It was little, and had a few issues, but it was mine and I had bought it myself. Dean drove, since my broken leg would have made it awkward. I directed Dean back to my apartment as he drove and we were there within minutes. When we pulled up, Dean helped me out since I was still getting used to my cast and the pain in my back.

As I let us into the apartment, I got a little homesick, realizing I would be leaving this behind tomorrow. Dean studied his surroundings, my home; just a small studio apartment, with a kitchen, a bathroom, and a closet lining one of the walls, and the cages containing my rats tucked in the corner. My bed against the wall, and a couch nearby. It wasn't much, but I had worked hard for it. I saw Dean's eyes settle on the cages containing my rats. Shit. Here it came.

"Rats? Didn't peg you for the kind of girl who could handle the creepy crawlies." He said looking at me with interest.

"They aren't creepy or crawly to me. They're smart and loving, and soft and warm and squishy." I smiled as I talked about them and went over to say hello.

I had 7 rats in all.

"Would you like to meet them?" I asked.

"Sure, why not." Dean walked over to me. I noticed as he walked over that he had bowlegs, and I couldn't help noticing again how sexy he was. *Pull yourself together!* I shook myself mentally.

"The white one with ruby eyes is Waffles, the brown and white one is Sansa, the beige hooded is Priscilla. The dark blue one is Elphie, the big blue one is Lolli, the little blue rex with one eye is Flutter, and the little brown one with a white stripe down her face is Tris." I told Dean, while pointing out each one. He nodded along as I spoke, not seeming squeamish or horrified by them at all.

"I'll clean out both of the cages. The bigger one I'm gonna take down, and I'll just keep them all in the smaller cage while we're travelling." Dean continued nodding as I spoke.

We both cleaned and packed up all of my stuff. We even took my bed frame apart; I would just sleep on the mattress tonight. I didn't keep much food in the apartment, so we just cooked up the little I had left for dinner, Dean said we could go out for breakfast in the morning.

"McDonald's?" I perked up, very excited; Dean chuckled and agreed.

It was late by the time all of my stuff had been packed up. Dean even took some stuff out to my car so that there would be less to do in the morning. After that we began to get settled and ready for bed. My mattress ended up being pushed against the couch in order to make room for everything.

My pajamas consisted of a tank top and a pair of shorts which I planned to slip off later under the covers. I hated sleeping in any type of pants. When I walked out of the bathroom after changing and brushing my teeth, Dean was stretched out on the couch without a shirt on. Good Lord was he in good shape! Ugh...

"You OK over there?"

"Huh? Oh yeah. Just thinking." I replied sheepishly, not wanting him to know what I was thinking.

I'm sure he knew, but he was nice enough not to point it out. At least that's what I thought until he said,

"Do you care if I just where my boxers? I hate sleeping in clothes." He raised an eyebrow at me.

"No. That's fine. No problem. I know how you feel. I hate wearing any sort of pajama bottoms too bed. Too confining. They get all tangled up in the covers." I rambled.

"Cool," he said as he stripped off his jeans, leaving him standing there in nothing but his boxers.

I laid down on my mattress facing the door. Which left my back towards the couch. Dean crawled over me onto the couch and got himself settled. I could hear Dean's breathing even out and deepen as he fell asleep. I wished it were that easy for me to fall asleep. I hadn't been able to sleep since I was rescued. I kept replaying everything with Lilith over and over again. I could feel my shoulder dislocating, every strike of the whip, and the crack of my leg breaking.

Tonight was different though. Tomorrow I was leaving. Packing up my stuff, picking up my final paycheck and leaving... Possibly forever. If it weren't for the fact I could be putting my family in danger by staying, I don't know that I could have done it. I had a lot of issues with my family, but I loved them all, and if I was honest with myself, I was doing this for my brother most of all. He was 10 years younger than me, and at 11 he was starting to become his own person, separate from the family. I loved him more than anyone else in my life, and I would do anything for him. Even, if that meant leaving without saying goodbye. Maybe sometime I'd be able to call him, or come back and explain it to him. I hope he'd be able to understand... Thinking about leaving him and perhaps never seeing him again hurt and I couldn't help it as I started to cry. I cried for awhile, trying to keep it silent, but at some point I must have woken Dean up, for I suddenly felt a strong hand gently stroking my hair.

"What is it, Mina?" He asked gently.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," I said as I sniffled, trying to get myself under control. "I just realized I might never get to see my little brother again, and I'm gonna miss him. But I don't want to lead Lilith to him, so if that's the cost of seeing him safe, I guess I have to do it."

Dean was silent after I spoke. He didn't say anything for awhile, just stroked my hair.

"You're doing the right thing. Some day, maybe you can go see him, or we could maybe figure out a way for him to visit you."

"I'd like that. But only if he can be safe."

"I'll make it work, Mina."

"Thank you, Dean."

"You're welcome, Mina. Now try to go to sleep. I'm here to keep you safe tonight."

With Dean stroking my hair, watching over me; I finally fell into a deep sleep.


	7. On the Road

_Lilith laughed darkly as she pulled a knife across each of my siblings' throats. I could do nothing but scream as the blood poured from their bodies, sobbing as I watched the light fade from their eyes, pain written across their faces. The worst part was how my little brother had locked eyes with me, he was trying to say something to me, but the cut had severed Joey's vocal cords so no sound came from his mouth._  
  
 _"I'm so sorry." Was all I could say as I sobbed, being kept in my chair by the ropes binding me. "I'm so sorry, I was just trying to keep you safe. I just wanted to keep you safe."_

 

* * *

 

 

I woke up with a gasp, still seeing my family die in front of me. I told myself it was just a dream, but I had seen my worst fear come true and my heart was racing.  
  
I suddenly noticed that there was something on my cheek, I couldn't figure out what it was. And with surprise I realized that sometime during the night Dean's hand had slipped from my hair to my cheek. I took a moment to use the feeling of his hand to ground me and rid myself of the bad feelings of the nightmare. Looking up, I was glad to see Dean was still asleep, laying on his stomach, arm over the side of the couch. I wouldn't have wanted to wake him, especially after he had been so kind to me last night.  
  
I closed my eyes again to steal a few more moments before I had to start a day that promised to be hectic. As images from my dream started to play across my eyelids, I opened them again, unwilling to watch my family be slaughtered again. Dean's hand on my face twitched. I looked up to see his sleepy eyes on my face.  
  
"How long you been up?" He mumbled groggily.  
  
"Just a few minutes." Hoping to keep him from asking more questions, "How'd you sleep?"  
  
"Good," he yawned. "Your couch isn't half bad. Too bad we can't take it with us."  
  
"It's alright. My parents were just gonna throw it away, so it didn't cost me anything."  
  
Dean yawned again and sat up. I couldn't stop myself from admiring how cute he looked with his hair sticking up all over the place. Man, I needed to get my thoughts under control. I attempted to shimmy back into my shorts under the covers while his eyes were closed, but my attempts were slowed down by my broken leg.  
  
"Whacha doin' under there?" He teased with raised eyebrows as soon as he noticed my attempts.  
  
"Shut up." I replied, still failing to get them on, the contortions required while laying down were just too much for me to accomplish between my leg and my back and still sore shoulder. I could already feel some of the cuts pulling open. I huffed as I gave up, trying to figure out what to do.  
  
"Dean? Would you maybe go in the bathroom while I put my shorts back on? I can't do it while keeping myself covered..." I admitted with no small degree of embarrassment. Dean laughed at the blush that crept over my cheeks.  
  
"Mina, even if I leave, you're still gonna have a hell of time getting them on by yourself. Besides, you're gonna have to take them off again to change into your street clothes."  
  
Damn it! He was right. What was I gonna do?  
  
"If you aren't too uncomfortable with the idea, I'll help you up, so you can find the clothes you wanna wear, then I'll help you get dressed. No sexual stuff. Promise." He said seriously.  
  
I groaned aloud as I considered his proposal. It was the only thing that made any sense. Steeling myself, I nodded my head in assent. Dean stood up, still in just his boxers, then knelt over me to help me sit up. Even though I was perfectly capable of doing so myself, I appreciated his help as it kept my back straight. I pushed away my covers to remove any obstacles. I felt self conscious in my underwear, even though I knew it was only going to get worse once I stood up. I really wished that my underwear of choice weren't thongs. I wasn't ashamed of my body, but I felt so vulnerable sitting there half naked, unable even to stand up on my own easily without help.  
  
Dean sensed my discomfort as he prepared to help me stand up,  
  
"You're safe with me, Mina." I looked up at him and felt my expression soften. He wasn't looking at my underwear, just at my face, as he pulled me up. I lost my balance as I was pulled forward, one foot on the mattress, and one foot on the floor, I slipped and fell forward against Dean.  
  
He caught me easily against his chest. Strong and solid he barely moved as my weight collided with him. I looked up at him to both thank him and apologize as well. The way he was looking down at me as I was pressed against him, brought to reality how close we were. Our faces were mere inches apart, and I could feel every line of his body on mine. His eyes were deep pools the color of emeralds, it felt as though they were looking right through me. I glanced at his lips and instantly realized I had made a mistake, the urge to kiss him started to burn through me, starting in my stomach and spreading through the rest of my body. He started to lean down as though to kiss me. Mesmerized by him, I tilted my head back in anticipation of his lips on mine.  
  
Remembering the fact that I had just woken up and probably had morning breath made me pull back, and with that small movement, the moment was broken. Dean retreated and set me right, making sure I had my balance as he chuckled nervously,  
  
"Careful there. Wouldn't want you to break anything else."  
  
"Ah no, that'd be bad." I said awkwardly.  
  
I started to walk away. Making my way over to the box with my clothes in it, digging through it before remembering that Dean was probably now staring at my bare ass. Whoops! Too late to do anything about it now. I quickly pulled out a pair of loose jean shorts that would fit over my cast, seeing as how any pants aside from sweats were out of the question. Grabbed my favorite bra, and a tank top and a sweater in case I got cold later. I took a few steps back towards Dean and dropped everything but the shorts on the floor, those I handed to him.  
  
Dean knelt in front of me, and I place my hands on his shoulders as I stepped into them and he tugged them up over my cast to my hips, where I insisted on zipping and buttoning them myself. I could have let Dean do it, but I didn't want to test my self control any more than I already was.  
  
"Can you hand me my bra?" I asked before he stood back up. He handed it over with the comment,  
  
"You don't need to wear that. You look fine without it," and gave me a devilish grin. Face red, I turned away from him, removed my current shirt, and put the bra on as much as I could, but my shoulder made me hiss and I felt Dean's hands taking over for me as I tried to clasp it behind my back, the burn as it stretched over my lacerations almost causing me to rethink it's importance.  
  
"Thank you," I said, turning around.  
  
"No problem. Anything I can do to help. Although I'm more used to removing a girls clothes, than putting them on." He joked. I couldn't help laughing. He was just trying to make me feel more comfortable. He then held up the new tank in front of me, to put my arms through. I felt a bit ridiculous as he pulled it up and over my head then down my torso, but it was also nice to have someone care enough to help. With any other guy I would have just thought they were using it as an excuse to feel me up, but he had never been anything but a gentleman to me.  
  
We stared at each other for a moment, when Dean broke the silence,  
  
"I should probably get dressed now."  
  
"Yeah, Sam'll be here any minute."  
  
I walked over to the rats, presumably to make sure they had food and water, but really I just wanted a chance to calm down without having Dean in my line of sight to make my mind short out again. Having him dress me had been incredibly intimate and sexual, without actually doing anything. Sighing, I turned around when I heard a knock on the door.  
  
Dean opened it up to reveal his brother standing in the doorway. I was grateful that we were both now fully dressed. Sam and Dean loaded everything left in the apartment, into the cars and took the couch out to the curb as I cleaned and vacuumed the apartment. We had decided Sam would drive my car and that I would ride with Dean in the Impala. I placed the rats' cage carefully into the backseat before I got in, since they wouldn't fit in my car, and I got the feeling that they made Sam nervous.  
  
We stopped at McDonald's for breakfast, Dean winked at me as he made good on his promise to me from the night before. Then we dropped off my keys at the renting agency, and we were on the road.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
"Where are we going, Dean?" I suddenly realized I had no clue where I was about to be living.  
  
"South Dakota. A good friend lives there. He said it was alright for you to stay with him awhile. He can keep you safe." Dean explained.  
  
"That's incredibly kind of him." I marveled.  
  
"Bobby's a great guy. He was like a dad to Sam and me. We spent a lot of time with him growing up, when our dad couldn't take us with him." I pondered his words for awhile, sensing a few conflicting emotions behind them. We didn't talk much more, just let the music play. I had quickly realized Dean only listened to classic rock. I couldn't help but muse with humor, if that was perhaps the reason why Sam had offered to drive my car.  
  


* * *

  
  
2 days we'd been on the road, we had stopped at a small motel last night, and tonight was no different, except this time Dean booked 2 rooms instead of 1. I was so glad to stop for the night, I know the boys would have preferred to keep pushing on, but were taking it easy on me. I eased my stiff body out of the car and grabbed the rat cage, heading into one of the 2 adjoining rooms Dean had unlocked, I put the cage down and headed to the bathroom.  
  
When I came out, Dean or Sam had brought in my bag with toiletries and a few extra clothes. I was so relieved to finally be able to take a shower. I dug out the waterproof case the nurse had given me to put over my cast and then started to strip down. Pulling a towel around myself, I called Dean to come help me.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"Could you take my bandage off?" I pleaded. "I just can't seem to get it."  
  
"No problem," he said.  
  
I turned around and dropped the back of my towel giving him access to it.  
  
"I'm so glad that this thing is coming off. It's so itchy!" I complained. Dean chuckled a bit.  
  
"Glad I could be of use to you."  
  
"Me too!" As the last of the bandage was removed I sighed in relief,  
  
"Finally!" And started trying to rub my back. Dean grabbed my hand, preventing me from itching it.  
  
"I don't think you should do that," he said. His words made me pout. I turned my back to the mirror to see what it looked like and was shocked at what I saw.  
  
Knowing your back is fucked up, and seeing what it actually looks like are 2 completely different things. My back was covered in long lines of scabs, criss-crossing back and forth over my whole back. I would carry the scars forever. And they wouldn't be pretty.  
  
Dean started to comfort me, but I wasn't ready for that yet. I thanked him for his help, and firmly closed the door on him. I was sorry to be rude, but I needed time to adjust. I turned on the shower, and while I waited for it to heat up, I looked at my back again. It would take some getting used to.  
  
After my shower, I stepped out of my room, and was surprised to see Dean sitting on my bed. I had dried my hair but hadn't bothered getting dressed. Dean looked uncomfortable waiting for me.  
  
"I brought you some snacks in case you got hungry," he mumbled.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Sam stuck his head in the door, raising an eyebrow at my toweled state, but not mentioning it.  
  
"Mina, do you want someone to stay in here with you?" I thought about it for a minute. I didn't want to seem needy, but I wasn't entirely comfortable on my own yet.  
  
"You don't have to," I said instead.  
  
"But...?" Sam pushed.  
  
"I guess I'm still a little afraid." I admitted.  
  
"No problem." Dean said. I shrugged, knowing he'd volunteer.  
  
"Cool. I need to do some research and this will keep him out of my hair." Sam said as he smiled at me. Dean grabbed his stuff and then closed the door between the rooms.  
  
We were alone again. Remembering the cream the nurse gave me, I grabbed it and asked Dean to rub it on my back. His hands were warm as they rubbed in the cream. It felt so good, like a mini massage. I wanted it to last forever. I decided I'd have to rope Dean into it every night.  
  
Once Dean finished, he excused himself to the bathroom for a shower, and I put on a tank top and some underwear for bed. Putting a pair of shorts by my bed for when I woke up. I climbed into bed and started to fall asleep even before Dean came back out.  
  
As I fell asleep, I again saw Lilith torturing and killing my family. I sat up wide awake, crying. Next thing I knew Dean was holding me and rocking me gently back and forth. I turned into him and let the feeling of his arms around me soothe my mind. Dean laid down on my bed, still holding me close. He maneuvered himself under the covers.  
  
He never said anything, never interrogated me on what was wrong. He just let me cry until I was done. I started to fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat, as he rubbed soothing circles on my arm. Right before I fell asleep, I could hear him humming to himself. Knowing Dean would keep me safe, I drifted into a dreamless sleep.  
  


 

* * *

 

  
Next morning I woke up to Dean's lips against my forehead.  
  
"Time to get up, Mina. We need to get on the road soon."  
  
"Mmmkay," I mumbled through a giant yawn.  
  
I sat up and looked back at Dean. I couldn't deny that things were happening between us, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. I pulled on my shorts, and got up to finish getting dressed before I started the rest of my daily prep. When Dean had gotten dressed as well, he opened the door to Sam's room. We were all ready in a few minutes, and then it was back in the cars for a few more hours.  
  
Dean let me know we'd get to Bobby's by mid-afternoon, and I was glad the road trip was almost at its' end. As the day wore on though, I started to get nervous. What was Bobby like? What would I do? Would he still be willing to let me stay once he met me? Would I be safe? And most importantly, would the loved ones I'd left behind be alright?


	8. Home Sweet Home?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to heat up!

Swinging my legs out of the car into a dusty driveway, I stood and stretched as I looked around. The house was surrounded by a graveyard of rusty old cars, with a sign declaring " _Singer Salvage_ " like a tombstone. The house was a good size. It was in need of a new paint job, but I supposed with the amount of dust floating around, it would be a nearly impossible task.  
  
As I made my observations, Sam and Dean had also gotten out of the cars and were beginning to make their way up to the steps, not wanting to be left behind, I hurried to catch up. Stepping inside, my nerves made me hyper aware of my surroundings, I followed the boys into the kitchen, where an older man wearing a flannel shirt and a baseball cap was standing over by the stove. He turned around and I could see he was grizzled but kindly. My tongue twisted, unsure of how I was supposed to handle meeting a complete stranger with whom I was now going to be living because there was a demon queen who now had it out for me if she ever came back.  
  
Luckily, Sam stepped in and introduced me,  
  
"Bobby, this is Cosmina. Cosmina, this is our old friend, Bobby Singer."  
  
Bobby stepped forward to shake my hand saying,  
  
"How'd'you do?" He said with a gravelly voice, that was still friendly and courteous.  
  
Mentally shaking myself, I took his outstretched hand, and gave him a big smile.  
  
"It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm doing well, thank you. How 'bout yourself?"  
  
"Fine, thanks. You kids hungry? I got somethin' cookin'."  
  
Dean couldn't stop himself,  
  
"Dude, I'm starving."  
  
We all chuckled, Dean was always hungry.  
  
"Bring in this little lady's things first, then you can eat. I cleared out the big guest bedroom for her." Bobby instructed the boys, behaving towards them as if they were his own young, ill-mannered children.  
  
Dean grumbled a bit as he and Sam headed back outside, but he shot a glance over his shoulder to wink at me before he was gone.  
  
"Sit down, shouldn't stand on that leg for too long." Bobby said, the definition of a gracious host.  
  
I smiled and told him I had been sitting in the car for so long it felt good to be on my feet. Suddenly, I remembered that I had left the rats in the car and excused myself as I hobbled quickly to the door. Maneuvering down the steps in no time flat, I grabbed the rats cage. They hadn't been out here for long, but I felt strongly about not leaving pets alone in cars on hot days.  
  
Passing Dean as I made my way back inside, I could feel him trace his fingers down my arm as though to keep from running into me. Distracted by his touch, I rather awkwardly asked Bobby where to put the rats while the boys were moving stuff into my room.  
  
"The living room is right over through that doorway, they'll be fine in there. And you don't need to keep them in your room, they don't bother me none." He told me graciously.  
  
I was starting to see that Bobby would make this as easy for me as possible. I smiled and thanked him as I moved the rats. As I moved through the house, I couldn't help but appreciate the old fashioned theme throughout Bobby's home. Whether it was on purpose (which I doubted), or just because Bobby chose not to change anything, it didn't matter. The house felt like a home, it felt lived in and welcoming. I could see that the next room over was a study or a library of sorts, with books lining the walls.  
  
I loved to read. It was how I spent most of my free time. Making my way in, I felt a bit as though I were intruding, this room seemed different. The walls and floors had strange symbols painted on them, and as I perused the book titles, not all of them were in English, and those that were had strange names. I could also see several hand-written journals mixed in. I exited the room before I was discovered, Bobby didn't seem like the type to get mad about such a thing, but I didn't want to make a bad impression on my first day.  
  
Bobby offered me a beer as I walked back into the kitchen, I shook my head, declining his offer. He shrugged and turned back to the stove.  
  
"How was the trip?"  
  
"Uhm... Long. It was a longer car ride than any I ever took with my family." I said.  
  
"Where'd you go?" He asked, trying to make conversation.  
  
"Usually somewhere south. Virginia, Alabama, Florida. My favorite places we visited were Gulf Shores and North Carolina."  
  
"Nice places."  
  
"Yeah. I love the ocean. Love being on the beach."  
  
Bobby nodded along as I spoke.  
  
"Bobby, can I help at all? Everyone's doing something. I wanna help." Bobby turned to see my face. I think he could see how much I wanted to be useful, and not just a burden for these people who were doing so much for me.  
  
"Do you wanna make dessert? Maybe a pie?"  
  
Grateful to be doing something, I hopped up and went to the cupboards and the fridge to see what I had to work with. Hmmm... There were some Granny Smiths in the fridge. Apple pie it was than.  
  
I settled down to wash and peel the apples. Humming as I worked. I loved to bake. I didn't like pie, but I knew how to make it well. I frequently made pie for my family while I lived at home. Chopping up the apples and mixing them with sugar, cinnamon, and lemon juice took only a couple minutes. The pie crust was much harder to do well. It needed to be flaky and tender, it was so easy to over work the dough, or crack it as it was transferred to the pie tin. Placing the pie in the oven, I then turned to clear off the table so I could set it.  
  
I ended up just moving piles and papers around. One of the papers caught my eye. It was a printout about supernatural creatures, different monsters: vampires, werewolves, wendigo, and shapeshifters. My mind was whirling as I read the paper and started to realize that if demons were real, perhaps so were these monsters. Is this what they did? Did they hunt down these monsters and save people like myself?  
  
Sounds of Dean and Sam tramping through the house with more of my stuff brought me back to reality. I stood back up and grabbed all of the papers, stacking them into a large pile, and took them to Bobby's study. Coming back, I got Flutter out of her cage, needing the sort of comfort only my fur babies could bring, and let her crawl into her favorite spot nestled between my boobs.  
  
Coming back to the kitchen I set the table for 4, and then followed the boys to my new room. Peeking in I could see it was a good sized room, plenty of room for my queen-sized bed and then some. It was a bit cramped right now due to all the boxes my stuff was in, but I'd fix that soon enough. Sam and Dean brought in the last of my stuff and set to work setting up my bed frame.  
  
I decided to try and unpack some of my stuff. There was a dresser and a closet in the room already, so I started putting clothes away. Clothes made up the majority of my possessions. There were some books, my N-64 and a few odds and ends that I hadn't wanted to part with. But I didn't have too much to worry about. The boys and I finished our respective jobs about the same time. I batted my eyelashes at Dean and roped him into helping me make up the bed before we sat down to dinner.  
  
Bobby stuck his head in, and looked around surprised to see how much we had gotten done. Then told us,  
  
"Dinner's ready now if you wanna eat." Dean was the first one to make a move, while Sam and I followed a bit more slowly. I couldn't help my eyes wandering down to watch Dean's ass ahead of me. Sam noticed where my gaze was focused and started chuckling beside me, I blushed, but merely shrugged and laughed along with him.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
Dinner was a loud affair as Dean cracked jokes with Sam and Bobby, all of them telling me old stories. Bobby seemed to enjoy telling tales of them as young boys, hoping to embarrass them. I knew what they were up to, and appreciated their efforts to make me feel at home. Flutter poked her head out from the the front of my shirt causing exclamations of surprise and then laughter as I gave her a small piece of chicken and she settled back inside my shirt to enjoy it. Her placement sparked a few jokes from Dean which we all pretended to roll our eyes at as we laughed.  
  
As dinner drew to a close, I was paying attention to the pie I had let bake slowly in the oven. No one else seemed to notice the aroma, but I saw Bobby nod in understanding as I got up and opened the oven, the smell of cinnamon and apples wafting out and filling up the kitchen.  
  
"Pie! Who made me pie?" Dean said, sounding excited.  
  
"Mina made it." Bobby told him  
  
"You never told me you could bake." He accused.  
  
"You never asked," I stuck my tongue out at him, as I retrieved some ice cream to accompany the pie.  
  
I placed a big slice in front of Bobby first, and when Dean tried to steal it, I picked up a fork threateningly.  
  
"Didn't you learn your lesson about stealing other people's food yet?" Dean backed up immediately, as Sam laughed and explained to Bobby how I had stabbed Dean when he tried to steal my bacon.  
  
Bobby laughed and said,  
  
"I think I'm gonna like her." I smiled at his words, and handed Sam a slice next.  
  
I smiled as the look of impatience and horror on Dean's face gave way to a huge grin as I set an enormous piece of pie in front of him. He dug in with gusto, and the sounds of delight coming from between his lips made me even happier than the praises from Bobby and Sam.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
Sam and Bobby insisted on doing the dishes despite my offers of help. So I went into the living room with Dean, and put Flutter back in with the rest of my rats, giving them all scratches and kisses before shutting the door again. Dean was staring at me from his place on the couch when I turned around. The attention made me uncomfortable, not knowing what was going on between us. He could just be acting so nice since I was going through so much, and I was reading too much into the situation.  
  
I sat on the couch farther away from him than was necessary and turned on the TV. I wasn't really interested in what was on, just needed something else to focus on. I could feel how close we were, and how far at the same time. Waking up next to him this morning had been amazing. I wanted to do it again, but doubted I would. We were now at our final destination, there was no reason for me to be afraid anymore.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" Dean asked, startling me out of my reverie.  
  
"Oh. Uhm... How glad I am to finally be here I guess."  
  
"You guess?"  
  
"Well, I'm not supposed to be afraid anymore, but, I don't know that it's just something that turns off right away."  
  
"I can-"  
  
"It's OK. I'll be alright." I cut him off as I stood up and went to my room.  
  
I needed to stop telling him everything that went on inside my head. Looking around my room, I decided I had put away enough stuff to earn a shower. There was a bathroom connected to my room. I got ready and stepped into a piping hot shower, letting it ease sore car trip muscles. I blow dried my hair and laid down naked on my bed.  
  
After half an hour passed, I heard a knock on the door,  
  
"Just a minute!"  
  
I pulled on pajama shorts and a tank top before opening the door. Dean was standing there,  
  
"Just thought I oughta check on ya after you didn't come back."  
  
"Oh. That was thoughtful. I'm fine." I smiled.  
  
"Did you need me to rub that stuff on your back?" He asked.  
  
"I guess I do need someone's help with that." I said as I stood back to let him in and shut the door behind him.  
  
I found the cream and handed it to Dean, pulling my shirt off and holding it in front to cover myself. Dean rubbed it into my back, being careful of the scabs lacing my back. The feeling of his fingers rubbing into my skin again made me ache for him. He was the most attractive man I had ever seen, and he seemed to be showing an interest in me. As he finished rubbing in the cream, his hands didn't drop from my back. His fingers continued to trace the lines on my back. I slowly turned around until we were facing each other. His hands still hadn't left my skin, warm and large and soft on my flesh.  
  
I tilted my head to look up at him, trying to read the expression on his face. His green eyes bored into mine. Searching the very depths of my soul, for what, I don't know. One of my hands reached out of its' own volition to touch his face. I could feel his stubble beneath my palm. My hand ran down his neck to the collar of his shirt. Letting my own shirt drop to the floor, I stepped closer and ran my other hand up under his shirt to his chest.  
  
His hands had yet to leave me, and I could feel his grip on me tighten, his eyes dropped to take in my bare chest. I could feel his breath hitch and his heart race. His hand moved up my body from my hip to cup my face, as it grazed the side of my breast I couldn't help the slight gasp that slipped through my lips, his fingers twitched at the sound.  
  
When I started running my fingers through his hair, he pulled me to him in a crushing embrace, my lips trapped by his. His kiss was insistent, his tongue snaking out, demanding entry. I had no will to keep him out, and as his tongue dance across mine I sighed. It had been so long since I'd been kissed, and I had never wanted it so badly. Dean was such a good kisser, soft lips that were still firm.  
  
My body started to roll against his, wanting to feel more. I wanted him naked on top of me.  
  
His mouth moved from my lips to my chin, down to my neck, and across my collar bone. Leaving a trail of heat in its' wake. I pressed my hips to his, feeling his hard cock through his jeans. The only thought in my mind was getting closer to him, any way I could. I started tugging at his shirt, wanting to feel his bare skin against mine. Dean pulled back, leaving us connected at the hips, and whipped it off over his head. I traced my hands up his torso, admiring every muscle, every hard line. I started kissing his chest, letting my tongue snake out against his skin.  
  
Looking up at him, I could see the lust in his eyes, expanding his pupils and making his eyes smolder at me, my skin burned under such an intense look. I pulled his mouth back onto mine and felt his tongue against my bottom lip as he pulled it between his teeth and began to suck on it. His hands slid down my back to grab my ass and grind his hips against mine.  
  
He stopped kissing me to press his forehead to mine and gaze into my eyes as we both caught our breath. We heard the sound of a door slamming as someone left, which brought us back to reality, and what we had been doing sunk in. I looked up at him to try and gauge what he was thinking. I could see that he was looking down at me as well.  
  
His lips split in a wide grin,  
  
"Guess we got a bit carried away." I snorted at his statement.  
  
"Just a bit." And I snuggled myself against him, head under his chin. I just wanted to feel his warmth for a bit longer. I was still afraid that he wasn't going to take me seriously, but I didn't feel like worrying about it while he held me close. Finally, we broke apart and put our shirts back on. Dean left my room, but I crawled back into my bed. Still pulsing with the feelings he'd aroused in me.  
  
Finally. I got back up and joined the boys in the living room. I sat down between them, my shoulder pressed to Dean's. He put his arm on the back of the couch, a seemingly innocent gesture, but it caused me to fall into him a little, so I was almost snuggled against him. We stayed like that until it was time to go to bed.  
  
We all wished each other good night and headed to our rooms. It was then that I discovered Dean's room was adjacent to mine. As I started to step into my room, Dean grabbed my arm and gave me a quick kiss before letting me go to my room. That kiss kept me smiling as I pulled the covers over myself. I fell asleep with a smile on my face.


	9. A New Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're ready for some smut, here's the chapter for you ;)

2 weeks had passed since I moved in with Bobby. He and I had settled into a comfortable living arrangement, neither one of us got in the other’s way. Bobby did a lot of reading in his study, he had told me I was welcome to read anything I wanted. But I hadn't taken him up on his offer yet due to the fact that I was afraid to learn more about creatures I wasn't ready to handle.  
  
I started doing the majority of the cooking to help keep myself busy, but I still had hours of free time, even my rats had started getting tired of all the attention I was giving them. Eventually, Bobby suggested I learn how to use some of the weapons scattered throughout the house. When I mentioned I had a passing knowledge of knife throwing, he took me out back, set up a target, and handed me a set of professional throwing knives.  
  
I now spent most of my free time practicing with the knives, my aim was getting better, I could throw over longer distances. I even practiced with my left arm since my right shoulder, while healed, got tired and sore much faster. Sometimes, I pretended Dean’s face was the target.  
  


 

* * *

 

  
I had woken up late the day after I had moved in, happy and refreshed. When I got to the kitchen Bobby had breakfast ready and was reading an old book as I helped myself to bacon and pancakes.  
  
“The boys still asleep?” I asked as I started inhaling my food.  
  
“They left earlier this morning.”  
  
My head jerked up, “ _Left? Left to go where?_ ”  
  
“A case came up in Massachusetts. Somethin’ ‘bout a woman seein’ a ghost ship and dyin’ later that night.”  
  
My mind, which had stopped paying attention after I heard they were gone, snapped back to attention at the words “ghost ship”, and I started choking on my food.  
  
“You OK?” Bobby asked with concern.  
  
“Fine. Fine. Just not used to people talking about ghost ships as being real in every day conversation.” I said after I managed to swallow my food.  
  
“You’ll get used to it soon enough,” Bobby said. And I swore I could almost hear regret in his voice.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
I was brought out of my reverie by the sound of boots crunching the gravel. Turning, I saw Bobby walking up to me.  
  
“Care to learn somethin’ new?” He asked, holding up a small handgun.  
  
I nodded eagerly. I had always wanted to learn how to shoot, but Bobby had thought it best for me to wait until my shoulder was healed up a bit more. Guess he thought it was healed enough now.  
  
He handed me the gun, and talked me through the process of loading and unloading it, showed me where the safety was, and then handed me a pair of ear muffs.  
  
“Get in your stance.”  
  
Not knowing exactly what to do, I copied the way I had seen people on television shows hold their gun, feet  shoulder width apart, arms out straight. The gun was a lot heavier than I had originally believed. I took my time aiming, adrenaline pumping through my system, making the blood rush in my ears. When I thought I had it centered on the middle, I pulled the trigger. The recoil was strong, but I just let it carry my arms up, rather than take a step back. Yet another thing I had learned from TV.  
  
Bobby and I headed over to the target to see how I’d done. When we got close we could see that I had managed to hit the target, just near the edge, but I was still pretty happy. Bobby patted me on the shoulder, and gave me a few more pointers as we walked back.  
  
I practiced with the gun all day, my aim was erratic, sometimes I could hit it dead center, but more often than not I hit somewhere along the edge. Bobby left me out there practicing. Once, I got tired of the gun, I switched back to my knives. I started practicing some trick shots, never knew if they’d come in handy. Eventually, it got dark and I went inside to work on dinner.  
  
Washing the dishes after dinner, Bobby and I heard tires crunching in the gravel, and headlights shone through the window above the sink. The boys were back.  
  
I wasn't sure if I was ready to see Dean again yet. It had hurt to wake up to find out he had departed in the early hours without so much as a ‘see ya later!’ And that was made worse by the fact that he hadn't called during that time. I know Bobby had talked to them once or twice, but there had been no attempt to talk to me. In the 2 weeks he'd been gone, I 'd had plenty of time to stew, and had built a tight knot of anger in the pit of my stomach. So it was with mixed feelings I greeted their arrival.  
  
Sam came in first, smile on his face as he gave Bobby a hug and waved hello to me.  
  
“How’d it go?”  
  
“Pretty good, there was a sailor who ordered a hit on his brother. That brother took it on himself after his death to take out anyone who killed a family member.”  
  
“OK. That’s fucked up.” I spit.  
  
“You’re tellin’ me. Man, I hate ghosts.” Dean sauntered through the door.  
  
Seeing him brought in a flood of emotions. He was still just as beautiful as ever. His voice made my knees weak. I was so glad he was back. But as he smiled and his eyes crinkled at the corners, I could feel my anger flaring up. We had gotten so close, and he had run away without warning. He smiled over at me, and that was when I decided I didn’t want to see him right now. Excusing myself, I walked out the back door, grabbing a gun as I walked through the living room.  
  
There was enough light shining through the window for me to take aim at the target. I quickly emptied a clip into the target, trying to drown out my thoughts. I loaded another clip, but took more time with my aim this time. I didn’t hear the door opening or the footsteps behind me, so I whirled around, gun in hand when I felt something tap my shoulder.  
  
“Whoa whoa whoa!” Dean said jumping back from the gun aimed straight at his chest. “It’s just me.”  
  
“I can see that.” I said, still holding the gun on him.  
  
“Wanna put that thing down?” He asked.  
  
“Nah. I like it right where it is.” I told him.  
  
Dean stared into my eyes, trying to figure out what was going on.  
  
“Just go away. I don’t wanna talk to you right now.” And I turned my back on him, and started shooting again; half my shots barely hitting the target.  
  
“If you widen your stance a bit, and straighten your shoulders, you might have more success.”  
  
“I told you to go away.” Completely ignoring his advice, I shot the target dead center, and walked away.  
  
I made my way through the maze of old cars, the light from the window no longer reached me. I was wandering in darkness, but my eyes adjusted and I moved without hitting anything. I could hear the sound of Dean’s footsteps, despite his size he could move quietly when he liked. The fact that I could hear him meant he wanted me to.  
  
My broken leg began to twinge at my hurried pace, knowing I wouldn’t be able to keep far away from him for very long, I ducked behind a car. I silenced my breathing hoping he couldn't hear me. His footsteps stuttered and slowed as he realized I was no longer moving. He began to creep on nearly silent feet, as I found it just about impossible to hear him. Shit!  
  
Leaning over I hoped to be able to catch a glimpse of him somehow. When a hand clapped over my mouth and I was pulled into a tight embrace, my back pressed flush to his chest. He whispered in my ear,  
  
“You shouldn’t have run from me. Hunting is what I do for a living.” I could feel his lips pull into a grin against my ear. Then he turned me around and planted a kiss on me. I tried to pull away but Dean had trapped my arms against my sides. He deepened the kiss and despite my anger, I started to kiss him back.  
  
“I’m sorry I left without saying goodbye.” Dean murmured as he pulled back and rested his forehead on mine.  
  
“You didn’t even call,” I accused.  
  
He sighed and pulled away.  
  
“I know. I should have. I just… I don’t want you to get attached. To think this can turn into something. You're only gonna get hurt.”  
  
“Right. Of course. I knew that from the moment I first laid eyes on your pretty face," I said, shaking my head. "Stupid me to think maybe I was wrong." I tried to walk away, but Dean grabbed hold of my arms keeping me there.  
  
“It's not what you think, Mina.” He said with fervor. "I'm a marked man." He told me flatly.  
  
“What do you mean?” I couldn't understand what he was trying to tell me.  
  
“A couple months ago, I sold my soul to a demon, to bring Sam back. They gave me a year. I’ve got about 9 months left.” He told me with no emotion, as though it were all bottled within him.  
  
I was shocked, unable to speak. Dean stood in silence, letting the horror of what he’d said sink in.  
  
“You… Sold your soul?” I finally managed; I found myself barely able to comprehend what that meant. “You’re going to hell?” At his nod, I suddenly recalled what Lilith had said. “That’s what Lilith meant when she told Sam she was your only hope…?” I phrased it as a question, but we both knew it was a statement.  
  
“Yeah. We had just found out we’d need her. That’s why we were in your town.” I hung my head.  
  
“And I killed her. I fucked things up didn’t I?” Dean was shaking his head as I spoke.  
  
‘No. You did what you had to. And I told you. That knife won’t keep her down forever. We need to find a better way to take her out.”  
  
“Fuck, Dean.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
“ Well fuck you. Now I can’t even be mad at you for taking off because you might die and go to hell.” I said, trying to make him a crack a grin.  
  
It worked. He chuckled in surprise.  
  
“You could. It just wouldn’t be very productive.” He said, his voice deepening with sparks of seduction.  
  
I shivered at the sound, lust starting to awaken within me. Knowing we wouldn't have forever changed something in me. I decided I just wanted to enjoy him now, or I might never get the chance. I kissed him deeply, grinding into him, nails raking through his hair. I didn’t love him, but I did like him, and god was he sexy! Besides, even if nothing came of it, a night with him would be something I’d remember forever.  
  
Dean may have been surprised by my sudden advance, but he didn’t let it keep him from enjoying it. His arms snaked around my back, one hand slipping up to hold my neck and pull me closer, as he crushed my body to his. Our tongues danced and I moaned at the roughness. He took a step forward, which knocked me off balance. As I started to slip he simply lifted me up and held me as I did my best to wrap my legs around him.  
  
I was skinny and didn’t weigh much, but the cast added quite a few extra pounds, and he lifted me up as though I weighed nothing. His strength turned me on even more, I was dying to rip his shirt off. And I was willing to bet he felt the same way about mine.  
  
The sound of an old car starting up, momentarily rocked us out of our frenzied lip lock. Dean set me down as we creeped over to see Bobby and Sam driving away. I eyed Dean and I could see he was watching me out of the corner of his eye. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up to the house. As we got to the stairs Dean picked me up again, getting tired of my slower pace. He carried me up the stairs and into his bedroom, kissing and groping the whole way. He kicked the door shut behind him and leaned back against.  
  
He set me down again to rip off his shirt, and I took the opportunity to pull off my own. Dean pulled me to him and left a trail of kisses down my neck as his hands worked the clasp of my bra, opening it in record time. As I tossed it the floor his lips had already made their way to my chest. He nipped at me breasts, making my nipples even harder than they previously were. His tongue teased circles around them, the rough feel of it had me sighing his name.  
  
Pushing him back I unzipped his jeans and tried to slide them off, Dean got impatient and kicked off his boots, whipping his pants off in seconds. He then grabbed me around my waist, lifted me up and set me on the bed. Laying back I felt his hands on my shorts, barely stopping to unzip them as he yanked them off and over my cast.  
  
Dean’s frantic movements slowed down as he bent his head down and began to gently kiss my inner thighs, the feeling was so different and gentle I was taken by surprise. He kissed everywhere but the one place I needed him to. The anticipation was killing me.  
  
“Dean, stop messing around down there and get to it!” I ordered.  
  
He looked up and grinned at me,  
  
"I like a girl who knows what she wants," and then he was sucking on my clit through the fabric of my underwear.  
  
“OoOh!” I gasped as he slid off my panties and his mouth made full contact.

Rubbing his tongue in circles I threw my head back, amazed by the care he took to pleasure me. He slipped a finger inside and groaned at my wetness as he began to rub me from there too. I felt a warm ball of fire begin to build behind my navel.  
  
“Oh, Dean, don’t stop.” I pleaded.  
  
“So beautiful,” he muttered against me. “So fuckin’ gorgeous. Wanna make you come so hard.”  
  
He nipped at me, grazing his teeth over my clit.  
  
“Oh god!”  
  
“Love your sexy body. Wanna see it squirm under me.”  
  
He sucked harder as my body began to vibrate and my jaw dropped open, unable even to make a sound through the pleasure coursing across my body. As the orgasm slowly ebbed, Dean leaned back and gave me a lazy grin as he stood up and pulled his boxer briefs down. Grabbing a condom from his nightstand he rolled it on his hard length.  
  
I pulled myself further onto the bed as he climbed on top of me, positioning himself between my legs.  
  
“You ready, Baby?” He asked.  
  
“Oh just fuck me already.” I said as I pulled him in for a kiss.  
  
As he slid inside me, I felt him groan against my mouth.  
  
“So tight. Such a tight little pussy.” He said from between gritted teeth as he started to rock back and forth. “Oh baby, you feel so good.”  
  
His mouth fell open as he picked up his intensity. Watching his face as he had his way with my body was so sexy. Every stroke caused some variation in expression. His green eyes going wide or squinting as the pleasure started to take control.  
  
“Dean…” I moaned as his thrusts becoming more frantic, hitting their mark each time. He filled me up completely and I couldn’t help but wish he wasn't wearing a condom.  
  
“Mina, Mina.” I lifted up my hips to grind against him, and as the angle of his thrusts changed I heard a growl from deep in his chest. “Don’t move. Right there.”  
  
I kissed him again, but let my mouth wander from his mouth over his chin up to where I began sucking on his earlobe. I could feel him trembling over top of me. Dean began to wind his fingers through my hair. When he pulled my head back exposing my throat, his mouth was rough with enthusiasm, leaving bites like a necklace under my chin.  
  
“Baby, I can’t last much longer…” He panted.  
  
“Don’t hold back.” My words seemed to spur him on.  
  
He thrust harder and deeper each time, senseless noises and strings of words emanating from his mouth. The pleasure had been building within me again, and to the sound of him snarling my name I came again, gasping his name as though it were the only thing that mattered in that moment.  
  
That seemed to unleash him, and with a final thrust, I could feel Dean throb within me as he came. Eyes wide open, the green in his eyes was barely visible. He gently lay on top of me as his orgasm came to a shuddering end.  
  
He rested his head on my chest as he caught his breath. When he got up it was just to pull out and throw the condom away. He laid right back down with me, pulling me close, tucking my head under his chin.  
  
“Anyone ever tell you how perfect you are?” He muttered as he kissed the top of my head.


	10. Falling Into Place

As I began to wake up, I couldn't help but think that my blankets were really hot and sticky. And why were they wrapped around me so tight? When I opened my eyes and began to think properly, I realized that it wasn't my sheets wrapped around me, it was Dean. He had pulled my body against him as he slept, holding me tight.  
  
With stealth born from years of sneaking out of bed with sleeping siblings, I managed to extricate myself from his embrace. I fumbled around for my clothes, and pulled them on as best I could in the semi-darkness before exiting. I could see through Dean's window that it was very early morning, light just barely beginning to peek over the horizon. When I stepped into the hall, I noticed a light on in the kitchen.  
  
Peering in, I saw Sam just sitting there all alone. I wasn't sure what to do, I could tell he was feeling down by the set of his shoulders, so I wanted to maybe cheer him up, but I didn't know if he just needed some alone time. He must have felt me watching him. He turned his head and said,  
  
"You can come in if you want."  
  
"I didn't want to intrude. I just noticed the light was on and wanted to know if you're OK?" I told him quietly.  
  
"I'm alright. Just thinking about some things."  
  
"Do you mean Dean?"  
  
Sam turned to me startled.  
  
"He told me last night." I supplied for the question in his eyes.  
  
He nodded his head sadly, lost in thought. Giving him a bit of space, I began to put on a pot of coffee. I personally couldn't stand coffee, but it seemed to be one of the things here the boys lived on. As I waited for the coffee, I silently made myself a cup of hot Thai tea. When the coffee was done, I put a mug with saucers of cream and sugar in front of Sam and sat down, helping myself to both saucers.  
  
"Is there anything we can do to get him out of it?" I finally asked, breaking the silence.  
  
Sam shook his head.  
  
"If he tries to break the contract, I die. He won't let that happen." I nodded in understanding, then a thought occurred to me.  
  
"How'd you die?"  
  
"I was stabbed in the back. It severed my spinal cord."  
  
"Oh." There didn't seem to be anything else to say.  
  
I admired Dean's loyalty, but part of me couldn't help but think that Dean was stupid for doing that. Sam's soul would have gone to Heaven. Yes, Dean would miss his brother. But his brother would be in a good place. Dean selling his soul, meant that Dean would die, and not just die, but go to hell and suffer eternal torment. And Sam had to live the rest of his life, knowing that he was the reason Dean did that. " _Rather selfish in my opinion._ " I thought to myself.  
  
"What about Lilith?" I queried.  
  
"We were told she might be able to do something, but we don't know if we'll be able to find her, or if she actually can do anything."  
  
I hung my head in guilt. I had made things even more difficult. I might be the reason Dean didn't work his way out of hell.  
  
"Don't blame yourself." Sam said as he laid his hand on my arm, trying to comfort me. "You did what you had to do. Neither Dean nor I blame you."  
  
"I blame me." I said quietly.  
  
Sam looked thoughtful at my words.  
  
"That's something we have in common. We each blame ourselves."  
  
So I was right. Sam did blame himself.  
  
"It was selfish of him." I said.  
  
"What?" Sam was confused by both my words and the harsh tone they'd been spoken in.  
  
"It was selfish of him." I repeated. "He sold his soul because he couldn't bear to live without you. But now you'll not only have to live without him, you'll also have to know his soul is in hell, and that he did it for you. That's not selfless at all, it's incredibly selfish." I said with firm conviction.  
  
Sam was clearly troubled by my words. I began to regret saying them.  
  
"I think... I think he did it, not exactly because he couldn't live without me. But because since he was 4 years old, it's been drilled into him, to take care of me. And because he wanted to give me the chance to live an apple pie life., white picket fence, 2.5 kids... He feels guilty for puling me out of school. For not being able to save Jess. For not getting to me sooner. He did it out of misguided love." Sam tried to assure himself as much as me.  
  
I didn't agree, but chose to keep my mouth shut. Instead, I got up and started to plan breakfast. As I began to whip up batter for crepes, Sam continued to sit there, staring into space. I fried up some ham and bacon, and cooked a few eggs before I started making the crepes themselves. I hummed to myself as I cooked. Finding comfort in the motions of creating something wonderful out of nothing.  
  
"Since you're up first, you get breakfast hot off the stove." I smiled at Sam, setting a plate in front of him as well as the bacon, ham, eggs, strawberries, nutella, and whipped cream. The latter 3 items were more for myself than him. Bobby walked in not much later,  
  
"I smelled bacon and coffee."  
  
I chuckled as he pulled up a chair and grabbed a plate, loading up on food.  
  
"Letting you move in may have been the smartest decision I ever made." Bobby told me and winked.  
  
I smiled at him,  
  
"Which I'm very grateful for."  
  
"Shut up and eat your food." He told me. Bobby wasn't big into 'chick flick moments' as Dean called them.  
  
The silence as the 3 of us ate was companionable, 3 people content and eating together. Sam offered to clean up once we were done, but I insisted on putting the food away myself before I changed out of last night's clothes.  
  


* * *

  
I decided to head into town later that day with Dean. I liked riding in the Impala. I wasn't well versed in cars, but I loved vintage cars, and this one was still in great shape. This car had been made for Dean. It fit his personality, dark and sleek. Drawing attention wherever it went. It moved with a definable grace. It had a rough edge to it almost. Yup, Dean and his car had a lot in common.  
  
Walking and driving around Sioux Falls, there wasn't much to be seen, but I did notice there were a lot of dogs around. Which made me realize I could try and start dog training again. There were always dogs with issues, or aggressive canines that needed work. I decided to try and set up a business of sorts to start making some money. Bobby hadn't said anything, but I didn't feel right not contributing.  
  
Dean and I stopped at an auto parts store first and went in to get some parts for "Baby" as Dean called his car. As I listened, I realized Dean did all the work on his car, and couldn't help but think him being able to fix up his own car made him even sexier. How was it possible for him to keep getting more attractive? That easy lop-sided smile made my heart leap. " _Girl got it bad._ " I thought to myself as we left the store and went for groceries.  
  
"Would you teach me how to work on cars?" I asked Dean.  
  
He looked surprised by my interest.  
  
"Why do you wanna learn?"  
  
"I'm curious, like to learn knew things." I told him. "I also don't wanna be the stereotypical girl that doesn't have a clue what to do with her car."  
  
He nodded along as I spoke.  
  
"Sure. I gotta work on Baby a bit today, change her oil. We'll start with that." And he gave me that crooked smile.  
  
Smiling back at him,  
  
"Thanks."  
  


* * *

 

Dean began to teach me how to work on the impala, and even my own car that afternoon. He and Sam still went on hunting trips every few days, but they never stayed away as long as they had that first time. Whenever he and Sam weren't out on hunting trips, he'd take the time to show me how to take care of Baby, and my own bitchy little car. We even spent a few days replacing the air conditioning unit in my car. Hands dirty, laughing, talking, and listening to Dean's classic rock.

  
We hadn't had sex again, but I sometimes caught a certain look in his eyes, and I knew he was thinking about it. Sometimes, we'd sneak glances at each other while the other wasn't looking. I had no regrets about sleeping with him, at first I had merely worried that he thought of it as a mistake, a one time thing that couldn't happen again. Over time, that fear abated, and as that worry dissipated, we began to get bold and steal kisses, or lingering hugs.  
  


* * *

  
I had put up posters and made a website for dog training after my trip to town with Dean. Business trickled in and I made a steady income. Things eventually blossomed after I told one of my first customers, Sheriff Mills, that I even had experience protection training dogs. She gave me a job with the Sheriff's Department, training police dogs. The hours were flexible, I just worked with them as needed, or when I had time. I still practiced with different weapons every day, cooked and cleaned, and learned cars with Dean.  
  
Bobby began roping me into helping him answer phones for his "Hunter Hotline", as I jokingly christened it. That led to me learning about monsters and how to effectively take them out. I didn't exactly enjoy it, but I kept thoughts of my family, namely Joey, in mind. If there was even a possibility that learning about these things could save or protect them, then I felt obligated to learn it.  
  
I had yet to contact them, not even to let them know I wasn't dead. I had gotten rid of my old phone number so that they couldn't call me. I hadn't gone on MySpace or Facebook, I didn't want to tip them off to anything. I hated myself for the pain I must have caused, disappearing without a trace in that way. Most of the time I could push it to the back of my mind and almost forget about it. It was another thing that kept me awake at night. I worked to make myself as tired as possible throughout the day, in hopes I could fall in bed and drift off immediately.  
  


* * *

  
Several weeks after my trip to town with Dean, I was having a night where I found it impossible to fall asleep. My back and shoulder were healed, and my leg was supposed to come out of its' cast tomorrow, which wasn't soon enough in my opinion, I was going nuts! My leg was so itchy under the cast and making it so I couldn't sleep. The inability to sleep, meant all the thoughts I ignored throughout the day, suddenly had free reign.  
  
I thought of Lilith coming after me, or my family. The guilt over abandoning my family vied with my guilt over possibly destroying Dean's only chance at escaping his contract.  
  
I lay in bed for hours, long after everyone else had gone to bed and fallen asleep, tossing and turning. I finally gave up and crept into Bobby's study. If I couldn't sleep, I might as well do some research. I hadn't told anyone, but whenever I read, I was on the lookout for a way to save Dean. I had yet to find anything to indicate that there was something that could be done. When I tired of reading I sifted through news from all over looking for signs of Lilith's return, still with no luck.  
  
Deciding perhaps some TV would soothe my troubled mind, I turned it on and watched a Travel Channel show about some of the world's most beautiful beaches. I loved to swim, and I loved the ocean even more. Wild and untamed it called to me, the most beautiful of blues and greens. To the majesty of the waters on TV, I dozed off. Waking up when Dean shook my shoulder.  
  
"What are you doin' out here?" He asked quietly.  
  
Judging by his lack of shirt and pants, it was early still. Yawning, I replied,  
  
"I couldn't sleep, so I watched TV to try and fall asleep. Guess it worked." I yawned again.  
  
"Beaches?"  
  
"I love the beach." I said simply.  
  
"Come on. Let's get you back to bed." He said as he lifted me up in his arms.  
  
"I can't fall asleep in bed." I whined.  
  
Dean chuckled,  
  
"You sound like a little girl, 'But I don't wanna go to bed...' You'll be fine, Mina."  
  
"Dean..."  
  
"I'll stay with you. Remember? You're safe with me."  
  
So, I let Dean put me to bed. I snuggled up close to him. I knew Dean didn't need to go to so much trouble for me, but it endeared him to me. After spending so much time around him, I had learned that this man wasn't just a pretty face and tough guy image. He was genuine, and responsible, caring and gentle, strong of will and tough as nails. I was praying that we'd find a way to save this righteous man.  
  


* * *

  
Rolling over next morning, I watched Dean's face. In slumber, the lines of worry that normally marred his face had smoothed themselves out. I couldn't resist pressing a kiss to his perfect lips. He began to stir and deepen the kiss, eyes still fluttering. It was a chaste kiss, but still stirred up feelings within me. As he pulled me on top of him, he rubbed slow, soothing circles on my back. When we finally broke the kiss and pulled back, he smiled up at me lazily, making my heart stutter.  
  
"What a way to wake up."  
  
"You can sleep with me every night if that's how you wanna wake up." I told him as batted my eyelashes.  
  
"Sam and Bobby might start to notice." He told me.  
  
"I'm pretty sure they're gonna notice when you walk out of my bedroom today." I replied.  
  
We both had a bit of a giggle over that before getting up and making our way to the kitchen, where Sam and Bobby had already made breakfast.  
  
"Sorry guys," I apologized. "Guess I overslept."  
  
"We did fend fer ourselves 'fore you got here," Bobby reminded me wryly.  
  
"Ready to get your cast off, Mina?" Sam asked.  
  
"More than you can imagine!" The 3 men all seemed amused by my words, judging by the fact that they all broke into laughter.  
  
"I bet we have an idea." Sam chuckled.  
  
"Eat up, then we'll break out the saw and get that thing off." Bobby said.  
  
It didn't sink in at first what he had said. But when it did,  
  
"What do you  _mean_  "you'll break out the saw"?" I said with panic.  
  
"It's easy to take it off at home. We've done it a bunch o' times." Dean told me. "Don't you trust me?" He asked with an air of fake injury.  
  
I suddenly felt like the question, posed in such an innocent manner, had a lot of weight attached to it. The answer was important to both myself and Dean. Did I trust him?  
  
"I'll trust you as long as you don't accidentally cut off my leg."  
  
"So you'll still trust me if I cut it off on purpose?" He teased.  
  
I merely smiled and shook my head as they laughed at the weak joke, knowing I had left myself wide open. As their laughter died down and Dean and I ate, A ball of nervous excitement danced in my stomach.


	11. Road Trip

"Don't move, Mina." Dean told me as he started cutting into my cast.  
  
"Like I have a choice..." I muttered, eyeing Sam and Bobby, who were holding me and my leg down to make sure I didn't move. If I moved it could cause Dean to slip and cut me.  
  
We were all quiet as Dean cut away pieces of my cast. I wasn't that worried, but the air was still tense. Which was what did make me nervous, if they had done this so often, why were they all afraid?  
  
"So how come everyone's so tense?" I finally asked.  
  
Sam looked up at me.  
  
"Well, we don't want you to panic once he gets closer to your skin. We've never done this with you, we don't know how you'll react."  
  
"Chill out. I'm not gonna start flailing around. That would be the stupidest thing I could do."  
  
"Can you quit your yappin'? I'm tryin' to concentrate over here." Dean said gruffly, then looked up and winked.  
  
"How 'bout you quit flirtin' and get this over with?" Bobby scolded.  
  
Looking chastened, Dean got back to work. There was only a thin layer left, and Dean cut it from the side, so as to cut it off without cutting into me. When the cast finally fell off, and the air hit my bare leg, everyone relaxed. The air felt so good on my leg, it had been cooped up for 8 weeks after all. Bobby and Sam stepped back, and Dean offered me a hand to stand up.  
  
I was nervous to put weight on my leg. What if it wasn't fully healed? But with a deep breath I grabbed Dean's hand and let him pull me to my feet. Slowly testing to see what would happen, I began to walk around, and a smile lit my face. I looked up at Dean and said,  
  
"Race ya!" and proceeded to take off running out of the bathroom and through the front door, laughing.  
  
Dean was stunned and it took him a minute to process what was happening before he chuckled and took off after me. My fingers brushed against the Impala right as Dean grabbed hold of my waist from behind, he whirled me around, my back pressed tight to his chest. His head thrown back, deep rumbling laughter rolling from his lips. Sam stood on the porch, a soft smile on his lips, shaking his head at our tomfoolery.  
  
When Dean set me down I turned to him and saw a genuine smile lighting up his face. Unable to contain myself, I gave him an exuberant hug, nearly jumping up and down with excitement. Perhaps it seems foolish for me to be so happy about my cast coming off, but it was another step in the right direction. Another sign of healing. I had scars that I would carry forever, but I was on the road to recovery.  
  
"Get in the car," Dean instructed me suddenly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Get in the car. We're going for a drive."  
  
"Uhmm... OK." I said, mildly confused by his demeanor, sliding into the Impala while Dean held the door open for me.  
  
He shut it and ran around, hopped in and pealed out of the driveway.  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"I'll tell you later." Dean responded, giving me that crooked smile.  
  
I sighed dramatically, and we settled into teasing, jokes, and singing along to Dean's music. After an hour passed I finally looked at Dean in exasperation.  
  
"Alright. Where are you taking me, Dean?" I demanded.  
  
Dean rolled his eyes at me.  
  
"Ya know how you were watching that show about beaches when I found you this morning?" He asked me.  
  
Yeah." I gave him a funny look. "What's that got to do with this?"  
  
"Well, you never got the chance to swim this summer, on account o' your leg bein' broken. And it's late in the year, so most places are too cold."  
  
"Yeah. Exactly." I said, not getting where he was going with this.  
  
"So, I'm takin' you to southern California, where it's still warm enough to swim in the ocean."  
  
"No." I said, not believing him.  
  
"Yes, Mina. You and I are goin' to the beach."  
  
"OK... That's great. But what about my rats?"  
  
"Bobby's taking care of them." He told me smugly.  
  
"Clothes?" I said, still in disbelief.  
  
"I packed a bag for you. If there's anything I didn't grab we can buy new stuff down there."  
  
I was quiet. He had put a lot of thought into this. And in such a short amount of time. I was touched.  
  
"Is this OK, Mina? Did I go to far?" Dean asked nervously.  
  
"No, Dean. Not at all. I can't believe you'd do this. Why are you doing this?"  
  
Dean shrugged,  
  
"You've put on a smile and a brave face. But a lot's happened to you. You must miss you're family."  
  
"OK. That still doesn't explain why you'd do this." I pushed, unnerved that he had called me out on that stuff.  
  
"I'm just sayin' you could use somethin' fun." Dean said uncomfortably.  
  
"But-" I started, and Dean cut me off,  
  
"No. I'm not having a chick flick moment here. I'm doing this 'cause I am. Simple." He said irritably.  
  
I chuckled at Dean. He didn't like to talk about his feelings, but I couldn't blame him. I wasn't one for that shit either. But Dean's was rooted in the belief that he always had to be strong, that he had to be masculine in order to be tough. And in his mind, discussing your feelings was definitely not masculine. But I was beginning to realize that Dean cared for me. How much I didn't know, but I knew that when Dean's contract was up I might break.  
  
I had come to rely on him in the 2 months I had known him. He was a constant in my life. Even when he went on hunting trips, I always knew he'd come back. I worried that he'd get hurt, but I knew he was good at what he did, and he had Sam looking out for him. So, I figured he'd be OK in the end. Except, he only had 7 months left before the hell hounds came for his soul. I shivered at the dark twist my thoughts had taken.  
  
Glancing over, I was glad to see Dean hadn't noticed my pensive expression. I smiled at him,  
  
"Drive fast, Dean. If I'm gonna be gone I wanna spend as much time at the beach as possible."  
  
Dean laughed and hit the gas.  
  


* * *

  
  
  
We stopped late that night at a little motel. It had been a long car ride, and sitting there next to the sexiest man alive, I'd had plenty of time to think about him. We hadn't done anything since the day he got back after that first trip, and I was fully healed, and... If I was honest with myself, I was horny.  
  
We grabbed our bags, and headed into our room. I flung my bag into a chair.  
  
"I'm hungry, Dean." I said as I headed to the shower, stripping off my shirt.  
  
I heard Dean chuckle behind me,  
  
"And why are you telling me this?"  
  
"I'm taking a shower, and you're gonna get us something." I tossed over my bare shoulder, kicking off my shoes.  
  
"What makes you think I'm leaving?" His voice was low. Dangerous.  
  
I turned my head, making eye contact. Unbuttoning my jeans, I slid them off slowly, and stepped out of them, almost in the bathroom now.  
  
"You're always hungry." I said, and turned around taking off my bra.  
  
"But it's not always for food." He said with a quirk of his eyebrows.  
  
As I let my bra drop to the floor,  
  
"I know. I didn't say I wanted something to eat." I walked into the bathroom and turned on the hot water for a shower, slipping off my panties.  
  
I leaned against the door frame letting my panties dangle from my fingertips.  
  
"Come and get it."  
  
I smirked at him as he began removing his clothing. Our clothes now mingled on the floor as Dean took me in his arms, wrapping tightly about me. I could feel his erection rubbing against my inner thighs. Our lips met with gentle caresses.  
  
Pulling him back with me, we stepped backwards and made our way into the shower. The hot water and steam created an erotic environment, turning us both on even more. Dean let me take the lead this time, and I guided his hands to my breasts, wanting to feel his strong hands on my sensitive skin. He rubbed in measured circles, massaging them. It felt wondrous to have someone pay so much attention to them. Our kisses continued and the water beat down as he rubbed and tugged at my nipples, mixing fluttery light touches with rough play.  
  
As he attended to my chest, I began to rub his long, hard cock, thoughts of having him inside of me making me impatient. He moaned as I stroked him. And I nipped his bottom lip as I moved one of his hands to my swollen clitoris, demanding some attention. Again, his fingers moved in languid movements at first, testing my reaction to his touch.  
  
"Dean," I moaned with a sigh.  
  
"Mina," I heard as he moved from my clit to slide his finger between my lips. "So fuckin' wet. You're just so sexy." He told me.  
  
With my hand already on his cock, I maneuvered closer and pushed his hand out of the way, easing him inside me, too hot and bothered to even think about a condom. My breath hitched as I felt him fill me up, it had been so long since the first time we'd had sex. The sexual tension that had built up between us in the interim finally being released.  
  
Our groans were simultaneous as he began to move inside me. Dean pulled back from our kiss and I opened my eyes.  
  
"You make the sexiest faces and I want to see every minute of it." He ground out.  
  
"Hon, you're the only one I make theses faces for." I told him between gasps.  
  
It was like I was being consumed from the inside out. I wanted this to last forever, here with Dean, pressed close together, being about as intimate as 2 people could be. My nails dug into his back as I called out his name,  
  
"Dean! Oh god, Dean! Oh, Dean, don't stop!"  
  
Dean's hips ground into mine. My already weak knees nearly gave out. As I began to slip Dean lifted me up and pinned me to the wall as he drove into me. My cries became more frenzied and I could hear Dean grunting his approval.  
  
"That's right, babe." He slowed down, making me whimper. "Want something?" He teased.  
  
"Dean please..." I whimpered, "so close."  
  
Dean pulled out and slowly, tantalizingly, ran the tip along the outside of my folds,  
  
"What do you want?"  
  
"You, Dean I want you."  
  
"Oh?" He prompted archly.  
  
"Dean, please just get inside me! I need you."  
  
With that he drove back into me. And with only a few strokes, my body began to shudder, and I gasped in air as the contractions of pleasure rippled throughout my body. Dean continued to thrust in and out, and before mine had ended, he came too. His face scrunching up, almost looking as though he were in pain.  
  
"Oh Mina..." He groaned, as his thrusts slowed.  
  
We stayed still, catching our breath. The water was still warm as we finally untangled ourselves, Dean setting me down carefully. We snuck sweet kisses as we finished up with the shower we both now really needed.  
  
Our interactions for the rest of the night were almost sickeningly tender. We enjoyed the solitude we hadn't really been able to have before.  
  
We were both starving, and rather than go out, we had some food delivered. We never moved far from each other, staying within touching distance. I sat on his lap while we watched a movie and hooked my leg over his as we ate. He held me to him when we laid down to sleep. Tucked under his chin, enfolded in his strong arms, I felt safe and content.  
  
"Thank you, Dean." I murmured into his chest.  
  
"Shhh... You're welcome, Mina. You've got an exciting day tomorrow. Go to sleep, you're safe."  
  
"As long as you're here I am." I whispered, and listened as his breathing became slow and even, indicating he had already fallen asleep.  
  
It was only moments more until my breathing evened out to match Dean's.  
  


* * *

  
Dean pulled into parking for the beach next day as the sun was going down. I was disappointed that I couldn't swim yet, but I still shot out of the car and ran barefoot along the beach kicking up sand and splashing in the ocean. I laughed as I did cartwheels. I felt so free and light. The warm sun kissed my face before it sank below the horizon. As the light began to fade, I made my way back to where Dean was standing on the beach, a smile playing across his lips, green eyes glinting in the deepening dusk.  
  
"Can we stay here for a little longer?" I pleaded with him.  
  
"We'll stay as long as you like. If you wanna sleep on the beach we'll sleep on the beach. This is your trip. You just tell me what you wanna do." He told me with that special smile.  
  
I grabbed his hand and pulled him along for a stroll,  
  
"Just walk with me for awhile before we go to a motel. Then I want you to ravage me."  
  
Dean chuckled at the unexpected turn that had taken.  
  
"Whatever the lady pleases." And he mock bowed for me.  
  
"Careful, keep that up and I might have you ravage me right here." I warned, only half joking.  
  
He laughed hard at that. It was pleasant to just stroll along the beach with Dean. He didn't mind if I was quiet, or if I chattered too much. He just let me do as I pleased. It was fully dark before I finally told Dean I was ready to go, and even then it was difficult for me to leave, only thoughts of being up early to come back pushed me away. Although, thoughts of Dean ravaging me did help to sway me in that direction.


	12. Beauty Isn't Just Skin Deep

I woke up early next morning. Dean was still fast asleep, arms around me. With a little maneuvering I managed to wiggle out, he was restless for a few moments but settled back in. I took a quick shower so I could shave and make sure I was presentable for the beach.  
  
Going through the bag Dean had packed for me, I found my black and mint green bikini. I slathered sunscreen over my whole body before slipping into my suit and layering a short black coverup over top. Then made up some waffles and coffee for Dean. Even with the smell of coffee and waffles perfuming the air he still slept on. Growing impatient, I leapt onto the bed, landing over top of him, and startled him out of sleep.  
  
"Son of a bitch!" Dean exclaimed as his eyes flew open and his arms came up, expecting to fend off an enemy.  
  
"Wakey wakey Dean!" I sing-songed, laughing gleefully.  
  
"Jesus, Mina! That is a horrible way to wake a body up!" He said glaring at me.  
  
"You weren't waking up for more peaceful methods," I lied.  
  
"You sure about that?" His voice was thick and rough with sleep.  
  
Dean pulled me down for a kiss,  
  
"Pretty sure I would've woken up for that." He teased quietly, and then sniffed the air. "Do I smell waffles?"  
  
I giggled,  
  
"Why yes, in fact you d-" I didn't even finish before he threw me to the side and shot out of bed, making a beeline for the plate I'd set for him.  
  
"And coffee?" He moaned. "You're the best!"  
  
He began shoveling food into his mouth.  
  
"Seriously, Mina! Best waffles ever. What would I do without you?"  
  
I laughed, but wondered if he spoke merely in jest. The mood in the room became tense as we both got quiet, thinking about Dean's words.  
  
While he finished eating, I rummaged through his bag, pulling out his swim trunks and a tee shirt for him. Then I packed some food and drinks for us in a cooler to take to the beach, a few towels, and a book for when I got tired. Once Dean finished eating, he changed quickly, then hid a pistol in the bottom of the bag.  
  
"Gotta be prepared, Mina."  
  
"I know," I told him, giggling as I fished out the bag of silver throwing knives I had stashed in the cooler to show him.  
  
He smiled, face scrunching, teeth glistening white.  
  
"Glad you understand." He said and leaned over to kiss the top of my head.  
  
As he leaned back, I could see admiration and, perhaps something more, glint from his eyes. We grabbed our stuff and loaded up the Impala for the short drive to the beach.  
  
We staked out a spot under a big beach umbrella, laying our stuff out. I whipped off my cover-up, ready to swim in the beautiful blue ocean, and ran to the waters edge, splashing my way in deeper, laughing as the waves rolled over me. Dean made his way in much slower, smiling at my exuberance. I dove into the waves as they came, swimming beneath them until I came up far enough out to avoid the white surf of breaking waves. I laid on the surface, eyes closed, being rocked by the ocean as I waited for Dean.  
  
"Not afraid of sharks I take it?" I heard next to me.  
  
"I have a better chance of being struck by lightning then attacked or killed by a shark." I told him.  
  
I could almost feel him grinning at me, and my face lit in a grin of its' own. It was still early and the beach was relatively empty at this time. It would probably fill up later, but for now, Dean and I seemed to have the place to ourselves.  
  
We spent hours playing in the waves, testing to see how far we could ride the waves using just our bodies. Splashing each other on the beach before heading back out to the deeper waters. Eventually we tired and rode the waves back to the shore one last time, making our way up to our stuff. We flopped down onto the large blanket, and soaked up the sun, both our chests heaving from our morning's exertions.  
  
After catching my breath, I opened up the cooler and handed Dean a sandwich and a beer, helping myself to my own sandwich and some lemonade, placing a bag of potato chips on the blanket between us. Dean sat up and dug in, shooting me a glance as he bit into his sandwich.  
  
I smiled contentedly and looked out over the ocean. We ate in relative silence, each with our own respective thoughts. I didn't know what was going through Dean's head, but I was still marveling at the fact that I was here; I couldn't believe that Dean had brought me here.  
  
"I'm still in shock that I'm here." I spoke into the silence between us.  
  
"You're welcome, Mina." He said with a smile.  
  
"What prompted you to do this?"  
  
Dean groaned and said,  
  
"Mina, we talked about this already."  
  
"I know. But you never really answered my question. It would make me happy to know."  
  
He was quiet, and I thought he wasn't going to answer my question.  
  
"I already told you, I see you put on a smiling face, but you've lost so much. You gave up your family. Sometimes when you sleep, I hear you. You make small noises, as if you're in pain."  
  
I lowered my head in embarrassment that he had heard me. My nightmares hadn't gone away, I just didn't tell anyone about them. Apparently, I still wasn't that good at hiding them. But Dean wasn't finished,  
  
"You say your little brother's name a lot too. I can't imagine just leaving Sam like that. So I'd be willing to bet it eats you up inside."  
  
Why was he able to look at me and know everything that went on inside me?  
  
"Am I that obvious?" I asked.  
  
"No. I doubt Sam and Bobby see through the mask you wear or the wall you've put up. But it's not just that. I guess... I guess, I'm watching my time tick away." He looked so sad as he said that, "And I want to fill it up with as much happiness as I can. And that includes making the people around me happy, especially you. You're one of the easiest to make smile."  
  
I snorted,  
  
"So easy for you includes driving for 2 days, just so I can swim in the ocean?"  
  
He shrugged.  
  
"I guess I can see your motivation," I told him as I covered his large hand with my dainty one. "I can't thank you enough. This means so much."  
  
"You have a beautiful smile," he remarked.  
  
I couldn't help but smile at his words, words I'd heard for years from strangers, but meant so much more coming from this man.  
  


* * *

  
We played all day, alternating between the ocean and building sandcastles. As the day wore on, I noticed all the looks Dean and I attracted, at first I thought it was because Dean was far and away the most attractive man there, but I began to realize many of the stares were directed my way, and weren't necessarily appreciative. Catching a look of pity on one person's face, it finally hit me what they were staring at. My back, laced with ugly scars from my treatment at Lilith's hand, was on full display in the tiny bikini I wore.  
  
I suddenly found myself to be self conscious and uncomfortable. I tried not to let it effect my behavior, but I could feel Dean studying me as the day began to come to a close. I made myself smile brighter and boost my enthusiasm. He seemed to put it down to a mood, and didn't say anything.  
  
Finally, as the sun went down, I asked Dean if he was ready to leave, anxious to get away from the inquisitive stares of strangers.  
  
"Sure, whatever you want, Boss." He teased.  
  
I smiled at him.  
  
"I want to shower, and then let's go out." I told him.  
  
After showering and going out for fried chicken, I went straight to bed with a glass of wine; needing time to just think, without having to wear a smile for Dean. I didn't want to mar this trip with him in anyway. Dean watched movies for a long time before coming to bed. When he saw that I was still awake he was very surprised,  
  
"Thought you fell asleep ages ago?" He posed as he slipped under the covers, trying to pull me to him.  
  
"Just thinking," I told him softly as I tried to subtly evade his arms.  
  
"OK. What's goin' on? You haven't been yourself since before we left the beach."  
  
"Nothing's wrong, Dean," I lied and smiled at him. "Just tired from all the fun."  
  
"Bull shit. Don't lie to me. At first I thought I was imagining it, but I know something's bothering you." He informed me.  
  
"It's nothing really."  
  
"Lie."  
  
I wrinkled my nose at his insistence.  
  
"Fine. People kept staring at me." Dean looked at me like I'd grown a third eye.  
  
"Well of course people are gonna stare at you. You are quite attractive." I shook my head at his words.  
  
"Dean, I know when someone's looking at me with appreciation. This wasn't appreciation. This was pity. And disgust." I spit out. "They were staring at my back. At these awful scars I have."  
  
I turned my back to him and pulled up my shirt, reminding him what they looked like. He began to run his fingers over my back, tracing each scar.  
  
"These show how strong you are." He told me.  
  
"It doesn't feel like it when they stare like that. I'm not usually insecure, Dean. But I just don't feel all that beautiful right now. I always thought of myself as confident. But now I realize it's easy to be confident when you know that you're hot. It's not so easy when you have flaws, and they're all on display for the world to see."  
  
Dean seemed to think about it for a minute. Then he pulled me around to stare into my eyes.  
  
"Mina, I have never met a woman more gorgeous than you. Not "in spite of" your scars either. I think you're beautiful with them, because of them even. You have a beautiful face and a hotter then hell body, the scars don't detract from that at all. They add to it. They tell a story about you. They speak of your strength of character, your steadfast nature in the face of pain and horror. Don't think that they make you any less than what you are. These show the world that you have endured far more than the average human being, and have not only survived, but came out even tougher on the other side. Don't let what other people might think, or how they look at you, affect how you see yourself."  
  
His words were striking a chord.  
  
"I can't even tell you how much I admired your grit, as you stood in front of Lilith, talking back to her with no hesitation, even as she tortured you. You never despaired, no matter what she did. It was awe-inspiring. The average person, would have cried and pleaded with her to stop. You made it clear that you aren't the average person. These tiger stripes, remind me every time I see them, what a remarkable person you are."  
  
Dean's speech had brought tears to my eyes. No one had ever spoken of me like that. When people told me about myself, it was always about how gorgeous I was, how sexy. I was an object of lust to most people. Any comments about my personality were usually about the fact I was "sweet", and "sweet" didn't imply strength. I felt like people walked all over me. I didn't want to hurt people's feelings, so I held back my thoughts. I didn't see myself as strong, I felt weak.  
  
Dean pulled me close and began to kiss me sweetly. Kissing my cheeks where tears had fallen, my eyes, my nose, forehead, he kissed all over my face.  
  
"Does it really matter to you what those strangers think?" He whispered. "Or can't you see how much I care for you? Doesn't my opinion matter more than anyone else's, Mina?"  
  
I ducked my head and nodded. Coming from Dean Winchester, that was practically a declaration of love.  
  
"Your opinion is the most important to me." I whispered.  
  
"So let me show you how I feel about those scars, how they make you even more beautiful to me." He said as he began to kiss me again.  
  
Dean pulled me onto his lap and continued to kiss me, running one hand through my hair, the other tracing the pattern of scars on my back. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and settled myself more comfortably straddling his lap.  
  
My skin was alive where Dean's fingers brushed softly against it. He was much softer and gentler than our previous trysts. He laid me down gently, keeping his eyes on mine. Neither of us wanted to break eye contact. His eyes were telling me silently how much he cared for me.  
  
He cupped my face as he made sweet love to me, our foreheads pressed together. We watched how each stroke and sensation affected the other, moans, gasps, and sighs slipping from between swollen lips. Dean was infinitely gentle, each stroke slow and measured.  
  
Neither of us were really doing this for the pleasure, this time was about a connection between us. Each thrust was an assurance that I was still beautiful. Each caress a promise that he cared for me.  
  
That night with Dean, all my insecurities melted away. He thought I was a creature of beauty, but it didn't stop there. Dean believed that I was strong, that I was a being to be cared for and protected. Dean didn't just protect my body, he would protect everything about me.  
  
As he murmured quiet platitudes in my ear, I realized I was falling in love with him. And with that revelation, I didn't know whether to be filled with joy or fear.  
  


* * *

  
Dean and I spent the next day at the beach, this time I didn't care about all the looks I got. It was another blissful day spent enjoying the sun. My porcelain skin was getting much darker, even with all the sunscreen I lathered on I was still getting a tan. Dean already had some color to his skin, and as he got darker, his sexy factor sky rocketed. His short, ashy, light blonde hair, green eyes, and white teeth, combined with his sexy muscles and tan skin... Ugh! He was like a god! " _And he's all mine_." I couldn't help but smirk to myself.  
  
After the beach, I made Dean take me shopping. I wanted to go out and have fun here in Cali, and I wanted to look good doing it. I flicked through the racks, trying to find something cute and fun to wear. I grabbed a few options while Dean waited. I tried on different outfits and dresses, with varying degrees of sluttiness. One dress I tried on could barely even be called such, the neckline plunged in a deep V to below my belly button, and the hem barely covered my ass. While Dean did seem to appreciate that one, I would never be comfortable enough in it to actually dance and enjoy myself. I tried on a t-shirt with slits going horizontally across my chest revealing some cleavage, and while I did decide to buy it, it wasn't what I wanted for tonight.  
  
I found exactly what I was looking for when I tried on a tight black dress. The neckline left most of my chest open, dipping down towards the middle, making my boobs pop. There was a small open diamond of skin centered just underneath and between my breasts, with a few bands of fabric connecting the front to the back; it was tight over my whole body stopping right below mid thigh, I paired it with a pair of strappy black wedges and admired the effect in the fitting room mirror. This one I didn't show to Dean, figuring I'd surprise him later with the final product.  
  
We headed back to the motel room where I promptly set to work curling my short red hair and pinning it back so it formed a mohawk down the center of my head. After foundation and contouring, I accented my eyes with purple eye shadow and black winged liner. I kept my lips simple preferring a light, almost nude, peach lip gloss. I pulled a thigh sheath Dean had given me for my knives high up my thigh, and slipped a couple of my favorite silver throwing knives into it.  
  
I felt incredible as I slipped into my new dress and shoes. Turning to see myself from every angle, I caught a glimpse of the scars decorating my back. I lifted my chin and chose to believe that they were the words of my story, written in the skin across my back. I would not feel bad about myself. Tonight I was going to have fun and feel beautiful.  
  
"Son of a bitch!" I heard Dean mutter as I stepped out of the bathroom and he caught his first sight of me dolled up.  
  
"You don't like?" I pouted teasingly.  
  
"Like? No. Love? Yes. You look fantastic!" He enthused.  
  
"You don't look half bad yourself." I teased.  
  
He was in his usual flannel, leather jacket, jeans, and biker boots, but he always looked great to me.  
  
"I feel a little under dressed compared to you." He joked.  
  
"Don't. I'm over dressed, but I couldn't help myself. I feel amazing."  
  
Dean chuckled as he opened the door and we walked out to the Impala. He drove us over to some clubs and bars. A bit of flirting with the bouncer got us in with no trouble.  
  
There was a great song playing and I pulled Dean out onto the floor to dance with me. We drew quite a bit of attention. I prided myself on my dancing abilities. I had a feel for the music and my body rolled with the beat of its' own accord. Dean was actually pretty good himself, he was a bit goofy, but it was cute and endearing. I was sure he was doing it because it made me happy, and not because it was necessarily something he wanted to do.  
  
After a while we tired and got drinks at the bar, stopping to sit for a few minutes. I was anxious to get back on the dance floor though. Dean waved at me to go have fun. I wasn't interested in any of the men here, but it was fun to move among them, creating a crowd of guys around myself. I flirted and teased, dancing against some of them. At one point I made eye contact with Dean through the crowd, he had a smile on his face and was laughing to himself as he nursed a whiskey. I winked at him and went back to dancing.  
  
When I grew tired again I headed back to the bar. Dean had gone to the bathroom so I was sitting by myself for a little while, when a rather attractive man came up and introduced himself to me, he had an interesting accent that I couldn't quite place.  
  
When I told him my name was Cosmina he made a noise in exclamation,  
  
"You are Romanian as well?" He asked eagerly.  
  
"No," I told him with a smile. "My mom read the name in a book and fell in love with it."  
  
"She chose well, for beautiful you are. I had hoped I found a girl from my native country, but I guess that is too much to ask for."  
  
"Yes. Yes it is." I replied, mildly perturbed by his words, that while perfectly normal, were spoken with an edge of some sort.  
  
"Can I buy you a drink?" He asked me.  
  
"No, that's alright. I haven't finished this one yet." I declined.  
  
I could see Dean approaching out of the corner of my eye and felt better that he was near.  
  
"Hey, Hun!" I greeted Dean with a smile, as he kissed me on my forehead.  
  
"Hi, Mina. Have fun?" He asked, eyeing the Romanian guy.  
  
"Yup. This guy here is, Silviu. He's from Romania." I introduced them.  
  
They shook hands and I could feel Dean tense against my side.  
  
"I am sorry, I did not realize that you were involved." Silviu said.  
  
I laughed nervously,  
  
"How could you tell?"  
  
"I would have to be quite dense indeed to not pick up on him calling you 'Mine'."  
  
"I'm sorry, what do you mean?" Dean and I were both confused.  
  
"Mina, his pet name for you. It means 'Mine'. Did you not know this?" Silviu asked.  
  
"No actually, we didn't. I started calling her Mina because Cosmina is a mouthful. Happy accident." Dean explained, a slight hint of possession tinting his words.  
  
"Ah. I see." Silviu said. "I don't think I would feel right shortening such a beautiful name as Cosmina." Silviu seemed to be challenging Dean.  
  
"She likes Mina." Dean puffed up.  
  
I was starting to get nervous, I filed away the information of my nickname for late. Not wanting a fight, I broke in,  
  
"It was nice to meet you, Silviu. Dean and I are actually gonna head out." I said and pulled Dean with me out the door.  
  
I started shaking my head and laughing, telling Dean,  
  
"I just can't take you anywhere can I?"  
  
"Guess not. Even if he hadn't been trying to get you, I still got a weird vibe from him. Stay close alright?"  
  
"Of course." I smiled up at him.  
  
We made our way over to a new bar for drinks. Laughing and smiling we left a few hours later and began the walk back to the Impala. I began to feel the hairs along the back of my neck stand up and shivers travelled down my spine. Dean felt it too, for he had his gun in hand already.  
  
A shadow materialized from an alley as I looked behind me, causing me to whirl around. Silviu stood there, lips pulled back in a snarl.  
  
"I knew there was something I didn't like about you." Dean spat.  
  
"Hunter, a beautiful woman is wasted on you." Silviu told him.  
  
"Maybe, but that doesn't matter, 'cause I'm gonna waste you."  
  
Silviu growled at that.  
  
"So what exactly are you, Silviu?" I asked., trying to draw his attention away from Dean.  
  
"A werewolf of course." He told me, sounding almost insulted.  
  
"That was stupid, Cujo." Dean chuckled, even as he glared.  
  
"You can't shoot me here, Hunter. Everyone will hear." He smiled arrogantly.  
  
I had been working a knife out from where they were strapped to my thigh as we had been standing there.  
  
"Do you think they'll hear this?" I asked as I threw the knife I had freed.  
  
It buried itself up to the hilt in his chest. Silviu didn't make a sound as he looked down and back up at me before he fell forward onto the sidewalk.  
  
"Shit, Mina! Remind me to thank Bobby next time I see him for teaching you how to throw them things." He looked at me appreciatively.  
  
I winked at him and smiled saying,  
  
"I think we better move the body.  
  
Dean and I each grabbed an arm to his lifeless body and dragged him into the alleyway, being careful not to get blood on us. I snatched my knife out of his chest, cleaning it on the handkerchief Dean handed me as we walked back to the car.  
  
Dean praised me the whole way back on our ride to the motel, praising my cool head and perfect aim.  
  
"Right in his heart, MIna! Right in that fucker's heart! God you're perfect." He sighed.  
  
I laughed at his enthusiasm, but inside I wasn't sure how I felt about it. I had killed again. I shook it off under Dean's praises as we arrived at the hotel.  
  
We took a shower together, then crawled naked into bed together. We were both tired though, and ended up just falling asleep. Cuddled up, my head on his chest, I fell asleep with Dean's heart beating out a calm steady rhythm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you feel about this story so far? I would love some input. Don't be afraid to leave a comment.


	13. Holidays

During our last day on the beach, I soaked up every ounce of sunshine, relished every wave, and filed away mental pictures of Dean in a suit, chest bare, and face creased in a smile.  
  
I even bought a disposable camera, and took lots of pictures to always have physical proof of these wonderful days Dean had gifted me with. I never wanted to forget this. As the light began to fade, I couldn't help but gaze at Dean with a dreamy smile on my face.  
  
"Earth to Mina. Come in Mina." Dean teased.  
  
I laughed with him,  
  
"Sorry, guess I zoned out."  
  
"What's goin' on in that noggin of yours?"  
  
"Just appreciating the view," I winked.  
  
Dean leaned over me as we lay on our blankets and gave me a sweet kiss. I smiled as his lips touched mine.  
  
"I love that." He chuckled, "Love it when you smile while we kiss."  
  
"Oh?" I queried.  
  
"Yup. It's cute."  
  
"I'm always cute." I fake huffed.  
  
"No. You're not always cute."  
  
I growled at him.  
  
"Sometimes, you're sexy as fuck. Sometimes, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Sometimes, you're a strong warrior Tigress. And sometimes, you're an innocent little girl that I need to protect. You're not always cute, but you are always very pretty." He explained as he booped me on the nose, I of course bit at his finger.  
  
"See? That's the Tigress." I couldn't help but purr at his words, which brought a chuckle out of Dean. "Ya know somethin'?" He asked.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Tigresses love water!" He shouted as he picked me up and ran to the ocean, laughing and splashing as he threw me into the deeper water.  
  
I came up spluttering and dripping. I snarled at him.  
  
"Tigresses love to hunt Dean, and they're great swimmers." I warned as I began to stalk him. "And you're gonna pay for that."  
  
"I ain't afraid of you." Dean blustered.  
  
"Then come challenge me in my element." I taunted him.  
  
He began to wade in further, until the water was up to his chest and the breaking of waves was behind us. I kept myself low, eyes barely above the water. I ducked underwater and swam around behind him, coming up silently behind him. I slipped closer and pinched his ass, ducking back under right as he whirled around and lunged for me. I avoided his advance and swam off to the side, again coming up with almost no noise.  
  
I let the rocking of the ocean's waves carry me. Dean was turning around and around, trying to see everywhere at once. I began to creep closer, glad that the darkening skies helped hide the little bit of me above water. When I was close enough, I took a deep breath, and shot myself forward underwater.  
  
I collided with Dean, throwing my arms around his stomach in a bear hug; causing him to fall backwards and dip underneath the surface. I released him and bounced to the surface, laughing as he followed shortly, swearing like a sailor. I pounced on him, and wrapped my legs around his waist.  
  
"Now you're a dead man," I told him as I bit his throat.  
  
“Whoa… Calm down there, Tiger.” Said Dean in his wonderful deep, dreamy voice that could instantly calm me or incite me depending on how he used it.  
  
I began to nibble along his ear lobe, and heard his breath catch in his throat. He groaned in appreciation and anticipation. I licked and sucked on his ear, allowing my tongue to explore its surface. My mouth began to make its’ way from his ear, down his lightly stubbled chin. From his chin, I wandered down his neck, and began to bite along his collarbone and shoulders. I had long ago begun to feel his erection rubbing against me through the thin fabric of our suits.  
  
Dean grabbed my hair and pulled my lips up to meet his for an intense kiss. He bit and sucked at my lower lip, pulling it into his mouth. He suddenly pulled my head back, exposing my neck to him, switching from fierce Tigress, to submissive, purring kitten in the blink of an eye for the man I had fallen for, the one I trusted to protect me.  
  
“Dean,” I breathed out his name.  
  
“Mina, please.” He growled in my ear.  
  
My hands were clumsy as I pulled his suit down enough to release his cock, which had been straining at the fabric. My suit was quickly pulled to the side and I positioned him at my entrance, eager to feel his hard length within me. Our bodies collided as he thrust into me. His groan was swallowed by my lips; I slid myself along his shaft, allowing the rocking ocean to aid in my movements. His fingers dug into the skin of my thighs, the bruises like a claim on my body, as he moved with me. Our movements in harmony as we reveled in one another, the water, the feelings and emotions the other evoked.  
  
It was bliss as we began to climb higher. Dean looked at me as though I were a goddess, not the flawed, scarred, frightened young woman I felt myself to be, but when I looked into his eyes and saw the reflection of how he saw me, I felt a bit stronger, and a bit more beautiful. Dean had the ability to make me see myself in a different light, perhaps if I stayed near him long enough, it would be a permanent change.  
  
All these thoughts went through my head as the pleasure skyrocketed. My orgasm came with a burst of fire spreading from my belly to my thighs, throughout my body. I leaned into him, cheek to cheek, as a moan hissed through my teeth.  
  
“God, Mina! Such pretty little noises… So sexy. Come for me, Baby.” He murmured in my ear.  
  
“Dean…” I moaned.  
  
The sound of his whimpered name made Dean groan.  
  
“Mina. Love it when you do that.” He continued to pump into me, and began to climax even as my orgasm began to come to its’ shuddering end.  
  
“So fucking sexy, Dean. Love your rockin’ bod. You get me so hot.” I whispered in his ear as he came.  
  
He moaned as his erratic thrusting came to an end. We were both quiet as we caught our breath. He held me tight, and I leaned my head against his shoulder, not wanting the moment to end.  
  
Finally, we disentangled ourselves, and began to make our way towards shore. Thankfully, there was no one around that would have witnessed our watery tryst. I began to get a thrill thinking about how easily we could have been caught, and I couldn’t help but throw a smug grin in Dean’s direction as we toweled off.  
  
“I’m gonna go for a walk before we head out.” I told Dean with a peck on the cheek before wandering off down the beach on my own.  
  
It was dark, and the moon made a beautiful picture out over the water, turning the sand silver in the light it gave off. Little ghost crabs scrabbled across the sand as I ambled along, deep in my own mind.  
  
I was thinking about Dean’s deal. It had become quite obvious to me how much I had fallen for him since that first moment in the diner, when I turned around and saw his jade green eyes staring back at me. I had been right back then. I had known if I got involved with him he would end up breaking my heart, and if we couldn’t find a way to save him from his deal, my heart would shatter.  
  
I knew I needed to brace myself for the inevitable. There was very little chance of Dean escaping this. I think we all knew that, but none of us wanted to face that possibility. We were all lying to each other, in the hopes that we could change the reality staring at us.  
  
I made my way back to Dean, wanting to soak up as much time with him as I could over the next few months. He had packed up our stuff and was waiting for me at the Impala with a kiss once I got to him.  
  
“Ready to head out?” He asked.  
  
I looked out over the black and silver ocean,  
  
“Yeah. I just wanted to enjoy every last second, before I had to say goodbye.”  
  


* * *

  
I frequently looked back on that week with Dean. Upon our return to Bobby’s we no longer tried so hard to hide what was happening between us. We didn’t flaunt it, but we always spent the night with each other when Dean and Sam weren’t out hunting. It was comforting for the both of us to wake up next to a warm body, to kisses and sweet caresses. We never said we loved each other, but I believe we both felt it was implied. I’d wake up at night to Dean watching over me as I slept.  
  
“What are you doing?” I’d ask, barely awake.  
  
“Chasing away the bad dreams,” he’d tell me. “Now go back to sleep. You’re safe with me.”  
  
Smiling, I would cuddle up to him and do just that.

 

* * *

 

As Thanksgiving drew near, Bobby and I began preparing for the holiday. We made Turkey, and stuffing, green beans, and corn, cranberry sauce, an enormous pot of mashed potatoes (I love mashed potatoes), and homemade dinner rolls. I made several different pies: pecan, cherry, apple, pumpkin, and coconut banana cream; as well as a batch or 2 of brownies.

  
Dinner was a loud affair. We were all in high spirits, the food was good, and we were all together. Everyone was trying to brand this scene into their memories, not wanting to forget a single moment. We played games after we ate, letting the food settle before dessert. There was a lot of laughter over Sam’s horrible art skills, he could barely draw a stick man. Dean and I were in fits over Bobby’s frustrations at trying to decipher the picture Sam had tried to draw of “when pigs fly”. It was impossible to tell what he was trying to get across, and both he and Bobby were so frustrated they were yelling at each other. I fell off the couch I was laughing so hard, which ended up causing Sam and Bobby to cool down and start laughing too. I accidentally pulled Dean down on top of me when he attempted to help me up which made us laugh even harder.  
  
When we finally managed to pull ourselves back together, we were ready for dessert. Everyone enjoyed the pies I had made; Dean helped himself to a piece of each. I munched on brownies, enjoying every last chocolate-y bite. I helped myself to a few slices before I began putting away all the leftovers, imagining the delicious food I could eat over the next few days. Sam got up from the table and began to wash dishes, dragging a grumbling Dean into it with him.  
  
“Get over it. Me and Mina cooked; now you two idjits get to clean.” Bobby scolded with amusement.  
  
Dean grumbled a bit as he submerged his hands in the soapy water. I couldn’t help but get a bit turned on by the image of him being so domestic, but ignored it as we all hung out in the kitchen.  
  
It got late, and the dishes were long done, the boys and I continued to sit around the table long after Bobby went to bed. The boys eventually moved to the living room to watch football recaps, and I started stuffing myself with more brownies. I turned on some music, and couldn’t help but dance along; a brownie in one hand, and a glass of milk in the other.  
  
As I danced, I closed my eyes. It took me back to dancing around the kitchen with my youngest siblings, Marie and Joey. Spontaneous dance parties had been a frequent affair for the 3 of us, with the others occasionally joining in. I taught them both how to Waltz and how to do the dances for the different musicals I had taken part in. I had critiqued Nicole, who was 2 years younger than I, on the dances she practiced for Color Guard. When Joey was a baby, I had danced him around the kitchen to classical music. The flood of memories was over whelming, and tears pricked my eyes. I missed them so much. And on this day dedicated to family, how could I not think of them?  
  
I stuck my head into the living room,  
  
“Hey… Uhm. I was wondering if it’d be alright for me to call my family, or if that’d be a really bad idea?” I tried to ask casually.  
At first the boys barely glanced up, but as I finished my question, their heads jerked up, and they shared a look.  
  
“Uh… Cosmina that would probably be bad. Right now they don’t know anything; they’re safe so long as they know nothing.” Sam said kindly.  
  
“I figured. No big deal. I just figured it’d be nice to let them know I’m not dead.” I smiled at them and walked to my room.  
  
I could hear Dean following after me.  
  
“Mina? Are you OK?”  
  
“I’m fine Dean. I’m just gonna take a shower before I go to bed.” I told him.  
  
“You sure? I know you miss them.”  
  
“I am, and I do.” Was all I said as I stepped into the bathroom and locked the door behind me.  
  
I decided to take a hot bath. The warm water helped relax me. I thought of some of my happiest memories with my family and started to feel better. I even began to laugh as I recalled some funny memories, like how Marie, while smart as a whip, with the kind of wit I envied, always seemed blind, she could never find anything, even if it was right in front of her, she’d stand there shouting,  
  
“I don’t see it! What are you talking about, it’s not here!”  
  
Or how Joey, the only boy, and the youngest to boot, was spoiled rotten. He was a sweetie pie, but he could wrap us all around his finger with his crazy antics. It was mad to think he was 12 now; we were just about 10 years apart. He was born on October 27th, and I on Dec 31st, New Year’s Eve, so for just a few months he was 9 years younger.  
  
When I got out of the tub, I turned on my laptop and checked Facebook for pictures of my family, happy to see their faces again. I didn’t stay on long, just enough time to download a few pictures to look at later. I couldn’t help but print them off right then. I fell asleep that night while holding tightly to their pictures.  
  
I was brought to consciousness much later when I felt Dean prying the pictures from my clenched hand. I kept my eyes almost shut, not wanting to let him know I was awake. I watched him as he freed the pictures, and began to look through them. He smiled as he looked at my siblings, his smile faded as he came to the end. I could see Dean watching me through my barely slitted eyes, I kept my breathing steady as he studied me.  
  
Sighing, he took off his clothes before crawling into bed behind me. He slipped his arms around my waist and maneuvered closer. I could feel him kiss my hair. I heard him murmur,  
  
“I’m sorry Mina. I hate to keep you from your family. But I promised to keep you safe, no matter the cost.” He said, as though to reassure himself he was doing the right thing; Dean kissed my hair again before settling in and falling asleep.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
The weeks went by, and Christmas drew near. I wasn't really sure what to expect from the guys, nor did I have any clue what to get the men. After much thought and consideration, I finally got presents for them all. Bobby got a new baseball hat, and an ingredient in spell-work that I had heard him complain about running low on. Sam would get a gift card for his iPod from iTunes. And Dean? Dean had required more thought, but eventually I decided on some more flannel shirts and a Metallica cassette that he didn't own yet.  
  
About a week before Christmas, Dean came in one afternoon lugging a pine tree behind him. I couldn't hide my excitement at the idea of getting to decorate it, even Bobby couldn't help but smile at mine and Dean's shared enthusiasm. As we babbled and chattered, setting up the tree, preparing to trim it, I noticed that Sam slipped away with a downcast pensive look on his face. I knocked on his door later,  
  
"Sam? Are you OK?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah. Just not really in a celebrating kind of mood." He told me.  
  
I could understand what he was feeling. This was probably his last Christmas with his big brother, why would he want to celebrate that? I myself had conflicting feelings, but had decided to make sure Dean enjoyed every minute he had left. But I couldn't blame Sam for being depressed.  
  
Bobby, Dean, and I spent the afternoon trimming the tree and decorating the house, laughing and sharing stories of different family traditions and Christmases, Dean didn't exactly join in much on that, but he did recount the story of how Sam gave him the amulet he wore around his neck one year when their father was off hunting. I gained some insight into how Dean viewed his father hearing that story. He clearly loved his father, but his father was missing a lot of the time. He had been responsible for Sam, which I guess helped me understand why he had sold his soul for his brother.  
  
After we finished decorating, I roped Dean into helping me make the secret recipe cookies my family made every Christmas. When it came time to frost them, I think Dean ate more than he decorated. I snuck away before we were finished and placed a plate of cookies and a glass of milk in front of Sam's door, running away on light feet after I knocked.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
2 mornings later, Sam came into the kitchen where Dean and I were eating breakfast, dropping a bomb on me that he had found a case, and they needed to leave A.S.A.P. I knew then that I wouldn't get to spend Christmas with Dean, I was disappointed, and I think he was too. I got the feeling Sam was happy to have work to do, especially knowing that he wasn't too keen on celebration this year. I was peeved, but I swallowed it down trying to remember that Sam was having a difficult time. Besides, the mysterious murder had been in Ypsilanti, MI; I felt myself perk up a bit when he mentioned that.  
  
I followed Dean into his room and sat on his bed as he packed. He only had a few things he needed to throw into a bag, but he always checked to make sure he had everything and that the weapons he carried on his person were in top working condition.  
  
"Be careful, please?" I asked him.  
  
"Mina," he shot me a withering glare, "When am I not careful?"  
  
"Uhm... According to Sam, all the time." I responded.  
  
"I'll be fine."  
  
"That isn't saying you'll be careful." I pointed out. "I'd like to keep you around as long as possible."  
  
"Fine, I'll try to be careful." He acquiesced, kissing my forehead.  
  
Things were quiet for a few minutes as I built up my courage. I finally took a deep breath and plunged in,  
  
"So... My parents only live about an hour south of Ypsi."  
  
"Mina, we've talked about this." Dean said with a slight hint of exasperation.  
  
"Ah well... Can't blame a girl for tryin'." I shrugged. "I just miss my family. Although, when I first moved out, I was mad and the only one I missed was our Boxer, Taz. I swear, when I kissed him goodbye, he knew that I was leaving. I cried as he watched me with accusations of abandonment pouring through his chocolate brown eyes. I had only started to reconnect with the rest of my family before I left. Joey was so happy that I was coming around more often, he missed me while I was angry. And now I've disappeared again..."  
  
Dean's shoulders slumped, and with a sigh he said,  
  
"This is against my better judgement, but if you wanna write a letter, I'll drop it off. Just make sure you don't give them any indication of where you are. Just let them know you're OK, and that you're doing this for safety reasons. Alright?"  
  
"Oh my god! I can't tell you how much that would mean to me. Thank you so much." I gave him a quick peck before I dashed off to find paper and a pen.  
  
I wrote a quick letter, letting them know I was safe, but couldn't tell them where I was. I told them how much I loved them, and that I was sorry for the worry I must have caused them. Let them know I'd write again when I could.  
  
I handed it to Dean with a kiss and my parents address, out by the Impala right before they left. I leaned against the door frame back at the house as I watched them pull away. I was so happy he was letting me do this. I was glad for the chance to ease my parents mind and my own guilty conscience.


	14. Yuletide Happenings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've been enjoying the story so far. This began as a small project and morphed into something huge I probably wasn't ready for. Please read the next chapter and leave me many comments on what you think!  
>  
> 
> ****

“An Anti-Claus? No you morons! There ain’t no such thing. You’re probably dealin’ with some sort of pagan god if that wreath really is made of Meadowsweet.” I could hear Bobby on the phone, “Kill it?” he paused. “Ah… I think an Evergreen stake’ll do the trick. Careful ya idjit, this god’s been snackin’, it’s gonna be strong. Don’t do nothin’ stupid. (pause) Yup. (pause) See ya when ya get back.” And he hung up.  
  
“Who were you talking to?” I queried.  
  
“That was Sam. The boys came across some sort of pagan god.” He told me.  
  
“A pagan god?” I marveled. “Any concept I had of religion has gone out the window.” I couldn’t help but shake my head and laugh at the strange things I had encountered since meeting the boys.  
  
Bobby chuckled in agreement,  
  
“Eventually ya get used to it.”  
  
“If you say so.” I said, still in disbelief.  
  
“What do you wanna do for Christmas?” Bobby asked me.  
  
“I don’t know… What do you wanna do?” I shrugged.  
  
“Don’t do that Mina.” Bobby scolded.  
  
“Uhm… I’ll make ham and mashed potatoes and corn… Anything you want?”  
  
“Sounds good to me. Mind if I have a few people over?”  
  
I was a little surprised, Bobby didn’t socialize much.  
  
“No. Of course not. The more the merrier.”  
  
“One more thing.”  
  
“Yeah?” I asked looking up.  
  
“Can we have cake or somethin’? Dean ain’t here, I’m tired o' always eatin’ pie.”  
  
“I’ll make cupcakes.” I conceded, laughing.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
I was whipping up the mashed potatoes as Bobby’s guests walked in on Christmas day, a woman about Bobby’s age and a blonde about mine.  
  
“Ellen, Jo, this is Cosmina. Cosmina, Ellen and Jo.” Bobby introduced after the 3 said their hello’s.  
  
“Nice to meet you, hon.” Ellen said, she had a slightly rougher voice, but it was kind and motherly.  
  
“It’s nice to meet you too.” I replied politely, if a bit awkwardly.  
  
“Don’t be shy, C. We won’t bite too hard.” Said Jo with a dry sense of humor, she had a softer, lower, huskier voice; like her mother.  
  
I couldn’t help but smile; I could tell Jo was a no-nonsense, straight shooter type.  
  
“Just worried you won’t like my cooking,” I winked.  
  
“Oh Hon, don’t worry about impressing us. I’m just glad I don’t have to cook.” Ellen assured me.  
  
“It’s almost done if you wanna get some drinks.”  
  
Jo smiled,  
  
“Mom brought some champagne.”  
  
“It is Christmas after all, may as well.” Ellen shrugged.  
  
“I’m not gonna complain!” I exclaimed as I turned back to the mashed potatoes.  
  
Jo stayed in the kitchen with me as I put the finishing touches on the dishes, while Ellen and Bobby made their way into the living room out of ear shot as they began to uncork a bottle of champagne.

 

* * *

 

_“Bobby, what’s she doin’ here?” Ellen asked, voice low._

  
_“Whattaya mean?” he evaded._  
  
 _“I’m not stupid. The boys don’t bring girls with them. They save ‘em, then leave. They don’t relocate them, and they certainly don’t bring ‘em back here.” Ellen said with raised brows._  
  
 _“Lilith is gonna come after her. She was never gonna be safe on her own.” Bobby tried to shrug it off._  
  
 _“That still wouldn’t make them bring her back here. That would just draw Lilith here…”_  
  
 _Bobby avoided Ellen’s gaze._  
  
 _“They wouldn’t!” She exclaimed, quickly realizing what Bobby was hiding._  
  
 _“They wouldn’t what?”_  
  
 _“Bobby! How could you let them do that?”_  
  
 _Bobby’s shoulders slumped over in defeat._  
  
 _“Because! If it works, Lilith will be dead, Dean can go free, and Mina will be safe. If it works everybody wins.”_  
  
 _“And if it doesn’t?” Ellen whispered furiously._  
  
 _“Then it won’t matter.”_  
  
 _“It will if she dies! Lilith tortured her once, mildly if you ask me. Mina will wish she had died the first time around! Even if it does work, if Lilith gets her hands on Mina it’ll be horrible.”_  
  
 _“That’s why she’s here. She’s safe.”_  
  
 _“No! She’s bait!”_  
  
 _“Ellen…” he started._  
  
 _“Don’t ‘Ellen’ me.” She stopped him, “What happens when Mina finds out?”_  
  
 _“She won’t find out if no one tells her.” Bobby said pointedly._  
  
 _Ellen took a step back, hands on her hips, shaking her head._  
  
 _“If she gets hurt, it’s not just on the boys, that’s on your head too.” She shook her finger under his nose._  
  
 _“I know. I’m not gonna let her get hurt. That’s why I taught her how to use some weapons. She’s still learning.” Bobby assured her. “And… If this don’t work out, if Dean’s contract expires before we kill Lilith… We’re… We’re workin’ on somethin’ for her.”_  
  
 _“Bobby… I’m not OK with this. You’re all using her.”_  
  
 _“It’s not exactly like that… She’s good company. I like havin’ her around. She gives me my space, she helps out, and she can hold an intelligent conversation.” Bobby told Ellen._  
  
 _“And what about her? She gave up her family, her friends, her life; the only thing she got to bring from the world she knew was her rats._ (Ellen gestured over to the cage containing Mina’s rats)  _I doubt a grumpy old man and 2 emotionally absent boys who aren’t around much really make up for that.” Ellen tried to point out, at which Bobby smiled._  
  
“ _I don’t know about that Ellen… She seems to have found somethin’ to help her adjust.” Bobby smiled knowingly._  
  
 _“Dean?” Bobby nodded. “Bobby, how do you know she isn’t just someone to pass the time? Someone to warm his bed? Someone to come back to after a tough hunt? If this works, how do you know he won’t just drop her back with her family and never talk to her again like every other girl? And what about if he dies, Bobby?”_  
  
 _“He’s not gonna die, so we don’t need to worry about that. And as fer everything else… I don’t think he sees her like that. He treats her different.” Bobby said glaring at her._  
  
 _Ellen glared right back, but snapped into a smile as Mina stepped into the living room._

 

* * *

  
  
I smiled at Ellen, but I felt like I had interrupted something between her and Bobby,  
  
“Dinner’s ready whenever you are,” I told them smiling, trying to cut the tension.  
  
“Thanks Hon, we’ll be in in a bit.” Ellen smiled at me.  
  
I smiled back, still a bit unsure, but not wanting to pry. They followed me back into the kitchen, but as I had turned away, out of the corner of my eye, I caught Bobby throw a furtive look in Ellen’s direction. “ _What’s that about?_ ” I wondered.  
  
The table was set and waiting as we walked in, the food was set gloriously as a centerpiece, juicy glistening ham, steaming corn, and mashed potatoes topped with butter.  
  
“Well everything looks delicious!” Ellen complimented me.  
  
“You shoulda seen everything she made for Thanksgivin’. Table couldn’t hold it all.” Bobby enthused.  
  
“I’m not worried about how it looks, just so long as it all tastes good.” I said with a grin.  
  
“Trust me; it’s better than anything I can do.” Jo interjected wryly. “I’d probably burn the house down.”  
  
“She caught our kitchen on fire once.” Ellen informed us.  
  
“I haven’t been allowed to turn on a stove since.”  
  
I couldn’t help but smile as the conversation flowed. Dinner with the boys was always fun, but it was different, livelier. I was enjoying the laid back nature of this group, I still yearned to have Dean here, but I hoped he was happy no matter where he was or what he was doing. I had received a text from him last night letting me know they had solved the case and were alive, so that had eased my mind. He hadn’t been sure when they were getting back, since they were staying there another night. I was hoping it’d only be a few more days, but if another case popped up along the way they’d stick around to solve it. I was brought out of my reverie by Ellen asking what I did in my spare time.  
  
“Huh? Oh. Well, I actually do quite a bit of dog training in my free time. I’ve been working with Sheriff Mills on protection training some dogs for police work.” I told her and Jo.  
  
“That’s pretty cool. What kind of dogs are you working with?” Jo asked.  
  
“Belgian Malinois, mostly.” I told her.  
  
“Belgian what’s?” She and Ellen gave me funny looks.  
  
“Malinois. It’s very similar to a German Shepherd, but it’s even more responsive and intelligent.”  
  
“Oh.”  
  
“Personally, I prefer Tervurens over Malinois, but they aren’t as popular for police work.” I stated.  
  
“Why’s that?” Ellen asked.  
  
“Well, Tervurens aren’t as popular in general compared to Malinois, or Belgian Sheepdogs even, but they all descended from the same lines. I tend to think that they’re a more attractive dog.”  
  
“If you had a dog of your own, would you teach it to defend you?” Jo inquired.  
  
“Of course. Even before I found out about all this I intended to. I just, don’t know when I’ll be able to get a dog.”  
  
“What kind of dog do you want?” She asked.  
  
“Well, I can never really settle on one… I like too many. I like Tervurens obviously. I also really like Beaucerons. They’re a very intelligent all-purpose breed. And since they’re already a protective dog, you give them that extra training and it’s going to be absolutely incredible. Tibetan Mastiffs are nice too; they’ve got all that weight and power, which an attacker would have a really hard time fending off. They just drool a lot so I don’t know how I feel about that.” I made a face. “But I love your typical family guard dogs too, Boxers and Dobermans, and I absolutely adore Bull Terriers and Norwegian Elkhounds, they just aren’t very big.”  
  
Ellen and Jo nodded their heads,  
  
“Sounds like you can’t make up your mind.”  
  
“It’s alright. I have a long time to decide before I can actually get a dog, and no matter what I get, I'll love it.” I said trying to sound casual.  
  
They sort of nodded sympathetically before the conversation veered off on a different track.  
  
We all had a good time that day, everyone thought my food was good, and pitched in to help clean up. We watched TV, and talked about monster stuff. I noticed that no one really talked about the boys, and when I brought them up Jo got a pinched look on her face and Bobby quickly changed the subject. Aside from that though, everything was pretty relaxed.  
  
Despite enjoying myself, I was glad when the day was over and I could say goodnight to Bobby and head to my room. I had been trying to hold in the depression I felt at not having Dean here. I had realized at some point during the day that I would never have a Christmas with Dean, and the weight and reality of his rapidly approaching death nearly crushed me.  
  
Taking out my phone, I checked the screen hoping for a message of some sort. The screen stared up at me blankly, revealing nothing but the time. I didn’t want to bother him in case he was on a hunt, but figured he would have his phone on silent if he was, so I decided to risk it.  
  
 **Merry Christmas**  –C  
  
I set my phone down expecting to wait a while, but my phone buzzed almost immediately.  
  
 **Merry Christmas to u too**  –D  
  
I smiled, and before I could respond he had sent me another message.  
  
 **U hav a good Christmas?**  –D  
  
 **Yeah. U?**  –C  
  
 **Yup. Woulda liked to be with u too though**  –D  
  
 **I know. I kinda missed u today.**  –C  
  
 **Only kinda? Just today?**  –D  
  
 **Maybe yesterday a tiny bit too. When I was trying to lift that big box of books in Bobby’s study.**  –C  
  
 **Ah. I see how it is. U only miss my muscles**  –D  
  
 **Now ur getting it ;)**  –C  
  
 **Don't be a bitch**  –D  
  
 **Whatever asshole. When r u coming back?**  –C  
  
 **Couple more days Mina.**  –D  
  
 **Will u be back by New Year’s Eve?**  –C  
  
 **Ur birthday? Wouldn’t miss it.**  –D  
  
 **:)**  -C  
  
 **See u in a couple days. Nite Mina.**  –D  
  
 **I’ll be waiting. Goodnight Dean.**  –C  
  
I set my phone next to my pillow with a sigh. It had been good to talk with him, if only for a bit. I hoped he really would be here for my birthday. It wasn’t a big one, but I needed someone to make it special. I needed him. I wanted every moment with him I could get.  
  
I fell asleep late that night, after a long time tossing and turning. I had grown used to Dean’s warmth next to me, wrapping me up and holding me in his arms. It wasn’t always comfortable, but not having him proved to be even worse. It was made worse by the thought that relatively soon, I would never be able to fall asleep beside him again. It was in moments like that where I broke down. When Dean was with me, I didn’t allow any misgivings I had to manifest, but when it was just me late at night, I lacked the energy to bottle it up anymore. I would find tears slipping down my face onto the pillow, and I would soon be sobbing silently, body shaking.  
  
I hated myself for my weakness, hated the way I felt, but I wouldn’t change it either. Dean had never used me the way others had. He had never spoken to me as a lesser being, he didn’t put me down. I had dated “nice guys” before, and they had always ended up being complete douchebags. Dean had a bad boy persona, but he had never been anything other than wonderful to me. I cried harder as I thought about losing the best man I had ever met. Utter exhaustion eventually took its’ toll, and I fell asleep with tears still wet on my face.


	15. Who Will Keep Me Safe?

_Dean slipped into Mina’s room as silently as possible. He and Sammy had booked it back from Michigan after closing the case, planning to surprise Mina when he showed up. It had been difficult not to tell her that he would be back that night, but he knew her reaction would be worth it._  
  
  


* * *

  
  
_He had made 2 stops on the way back, one of them at Mina’s parents’ house to pick up their letters and gifts for her. They had been skeptical when they first showed up, but once they read her letter they had welcomed the boys in. They soaked up the information Sam and Dean could give without endangering her. The boys had been vague about why Mina was in hiding, implying that she was in witness protection._   
  
_Dean had studied her younger siblings, seeing Mina’s fair features faintly in their faces. He could see when they smiled, that they all had her laugh lines. Her family drank in all that the boys said, but Dean noticed that her brother seemed to hang on every word. He still had the higher voice of a young boy, but it was beginning to deepen. He was tall for his age and skinny. Joey begged Dean to take him back with them to his favorite sister. It had hurt Dean to have to tell the kid no._   
  
_As they had left her parents’ house on the way back to Bobby’s, Joey had come up to Dean giving him a bear hug._   
  
_“Keep my sister safe, whatever it takes.” Joey had implored Dean, steel in his eyes._   
  
_“I’ll protect her like I protect my own brother.” Dean had promised._   
  
  


* * *

  
  
_Dean thought back to Joey, and couldn’t help but admire the fierce devotion he showed his sister. The 2 had clearly been close. He felt even more empathy for Mina, now understanding even more how it must have eaten her alive inside to be separated with no communication. He admired her even more for how she had handled the separation, her lack of complaints despite what must have been torture._   
  
_He gazed at her oval face, able to stare as much as he liked without fear of her brilliant green, ever watchful eyes discovering him. Her perfect pale pink lips were slightly parted in slumber, and long dark lashes against her cream colored skin almost invisible in the gloom. As he softly crept closer, the sound of her gentle breathing calmed him and brought a smile to his face._   
  
_Dean’s heart dropped as the light peeking through a crack in the curtain illuminated the tear stains that snaked down over her freckled cheekbones. He pulled his combat boots off hurriedly, and let his jacket fall to the floor, followed silently by his shirts, and jeans, before climbing into bed next to her as gently as he could manage. He brushed the short strands of blood red hair from Cosmina’s face studying her gentle expression._   
  
_He had come to learn much about her since that moment she whirled around on her stool, melodious voice piercing through him. He had been shocked to realize how beautiful the short haired girl was, he usually didn't find short hair attractive, it wasn’t girly enough by Dean’s way of thinking. Yet somehow, Mina could never be considered anything but female. The way she held herself, tall, confident, her figure on display but not flaunted; radiated femininity._   
  
_And his Mina presented a subtle blend of sweet and tough. When it came to it, she could stare danger in the face without flinching; she held her head high in the face of criticism. Afterwards, he would see that she was soft and afraid, but you never would have known that as it was happening, in the moment, she was all steel. He admired her strength, couldn’t look down on her. To him, her fear made her braver than he had ever been. That fear also made Dean want to protect her from everything. He wanted to make sure harm never came to her again, no fear, and no more pain._   
  
_He worried about what would happen when his contract was up. How could he leave her here, alone, and vulnerable? He had made astop on the way back to put a few safeguards in place. He’d wait for morning to show her. She clearly needed sleep. He wondered how long it had taken for her to drift off. Dean slept next to her every night, he witnessed how she would slowly roll over, trying not to wake him. And while she never said anything while he was with her, Dean knew that Mina was still troubled by nightmares, although he got the idea that her bad dreams were different from the ones she used to have. He was aware that as much as his contract weighed upon his mind, it must also rest heavily upon hers as well._   
  
_Dean leaned over and kissed the remnants of tears on her face as he pondered the cause behind them. As his lips made contact, her even breathing broke and her eyes fluttered._   
  
  


* * *

  
  
I awoke with the feeling of something in bed with me, touching my face. Instinctively reaching for the knife hidden beneath my pillow, I found my arms trapped by strong muscles. I struggled against the arms wrapped around me for a moment before I heard the deep voice I would recognize anywhere,  
  
“Easy there, Tiger. It’s just me.”  
  
“… Dean?” I couldn’t believe my ears.  
  
“Hey, Mina.” Turning, I could see the outline of a smile on his handsome face.  
  
“How are you here?” I questioned him. “You told me you wouldn’t be here for a few more days.”  
  
“I know.” He smiled again, “I wanted to surprise you.”  
  
“Mission accomplished, Dean. You scared the shit outta me!” I smacked his well-muscled chest.  
  
“I didn’t mean to scare ya, Babe.” Remorse instantly seeping into his tone.  
  
Not wanting him to feel too bad, I smiled at him,  
  
“I think I can forgive you…” I informed him.  
  
Dean raised his eyebrows,  
  
“Think? What can I do to make sure you  _know_   you forgive me?” He asked, a suggestive tone coloring his voice.  
  
“I can imagine a thing or two you could do…”  
  
Dean eyed me with a smirk before leaning in to place a kiss on my lips. It wasn’t an “I want to tear your clothes off right now!” kind of kiss, but nor was it a chaste kiss either. It seemed to fall more along the lines of “I really missed you, and I’m so glad to be here with you”. I returned his kiss with equal fervor. The feel of his mouth on mine chased away the lingering misery of his absence. Dean’s strong hand traced tender circles on my cheek as the other held me tightly to him.  
  
I recognized a need in him; he wasn’t looking to have sex with me. He needed to hold me tight and feel that I was there with him, for him. Something had changed in Dean after this hunt. I didn’t know how I could tell, or what it was, but there was a certain desperation to him that he was trying to escape. It felt as though he was worried about something, or perhaps afraid. I wondered what it was, what had caused the change. And as our kiss became less greedy, I worried what the change in him would mean.  
  
As he broke the kiss, finally surfacing in need of air, I smiled at him and hoped my face wouldn’t betray my thoughts.  
  
“I missed you.”  
  
Dean smirked at me.  
  
“I know you did.”  
  
I curled my lip in mock anger, about to shove him away; but before I could move, his hand on my face began to stroke under my eyes and across my cheeks, his expression pained.  
  
“Are you OK?” he asked, looking into my eyes, searching for the truth.  
  
“Yeah. Why?” I asked with confusion.  
  
His fingers continued to wander over my face, as though mapping out its’ surface. The look in his eyes still expressed worry.  
  
“You look like you were crying.” He finally told me.  
  
My mind whirled, “ _Shit. Shit. Shit!_ ” I thought to myself. How could I explain it away? I wasn’t willing to tell him how much I feared losing him, how the end of his contract looming closer every day left a dark mark on my mind. I didn't want to remind him that he was going to die soon, and even more so, I didn't want him to feel guilty and add more weight to the burden he already carried. I had to think fast. He wasn’t stupid; he wouldn’t believe any little lie.  
  
I bit my lip and allowed repressed pain to color my features.  
  
“It was a bad dream.”  
  
“What was it about?” I could see he didn’t totally believe me, if he had, he never would have asked me to share its’ content with him, I had never told Dean what happened in my bad dreams.  
  
“I dreamt Lilith was back,” I said thinking back to the nightmare I had experienced my last night before moving here. “She captured my siblings. She was killing them to get back at me. She made me watch as she slit their throats. I had to watch as they bled out. I cried and begged her to stop, and she just laughed as the light faded from their eyes.”  
  
I actually found myself getting upset and tearing up at the memory of that dream. I think it was my breaking down that convinced Dean I told the truth. He pulled me into his chest again, cradling me and rubbing my back, assuring me that he would never let that happen.  
  
His concern made me cry harder. I had lied to him, and it made me feel terrible. The care and empathy he had shown me was unparalleled. He was there for me when I needed. With Dean I was always safe, he would do everything in his power to stop me getting hurt again. But he couldn’t stop the one thing I feared more than any other. I would willingly undergo torture a thousand times worse, if it meant Dean could stay with me.  
  
“Shhh… It’s OK. It’s OK, I’m here.” He comforted. “You’re safe with me. I won’t let anything happen to you or your family. I’ll take care of you.”  
  
I cried even harder, knowing what he said wouldn’t always be true.  
  
Dean held me throughout the night, kissing my forehead and tracing the outline of my figure. He seemed to sense that I just needed him to be there. It didn’t take long to drift off after my tears dried up. My eyes grew heavy and I fell asleep with my head on Dean’s chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. Right before I lost consciousness for good, I could have sworn I heard Dean softly singing “ _Hey Jude_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the story thus far :) I hope you are enjoying it. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns please feel free to write it down below for me. I promise I don't bite


	16. By Your Side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to start trying to use songs as chapter titles, I may or may not go back through and change previous chapter titles (I'm lazy so I probably won't). But figured I'd give you a head's up just in case.
> 
> Again, thank you for reading and comment, kudos, subscribe, WHATEVER. I love to get feedback. (Who doesn't?)

Walking into the kitchen, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes late next morning, Bobby and Dean were sitting at the table, sipping on coffee, wearing repressed smiles. My alert level automatically going up a notch at their strange behavior, I noticed a pile of letters and gifts at my spot. Eyeing Bobby and Dean, I sat down and began to sort through them. They all had my name on them. Opening the presents first, I received a pair of earrings, some perfume, and a few shirts.  
  
“Who are these from?” I asked.  
  
“How ‘bout you open up those letters and find out?” Dean said with a smirk.  
  
Picking up the first envelope cautiously, I turned it over and my heart thudded as I recognized the handwriting as my mother’s.  
  
 _Cosmina,_  
 _I can’t believe you’re alive. We all thought you were dead! If I wasn’t so happy I’d be furious with you. We’ve all been out of our minds with worry and grief. But these boys say you did it to keep us, as much as yourself safe (although I think you could have broken the rules a little and let us know you were alive sooner)._  
  
 _Which leads to my next train of thought; those boys… I don’t know how often you see them, but I don’t think any of us have ever seen such attractive men, especially the one with green eyes _(your younger sisters seemed quite smitten)_. His eyes remind me of yours. I don’t know what your relationship with them is, but I hope you’re being careful._  
  
(ewww… Mooom… That’s what you get when your mom is a Catholic and thinks pre-marital sex will get you killed.)  
  
 _Don’t let either of them hurt you, make sure they keep you safe and protect you like they say they are. Don’t let them slack off. I don’t know what you’re running from, but be careful. I miss you. You were always the bright one in the family. So pretty and happy, your smile lights up the room. We all miss that, miss having you around. Taz has been pining over you. He misses you as much as we do._  
  
 _I hope you’re safe and find the chance to come visit us. We all love you and miss you. Don’t let these trials put out your inner light. God will see you through it._  
  
 _Love,  
_ _Mom_

  
I snorted a little bit at that. I had been raised Catholic, but by the end of high school could no longer identify as one. I still believed in God, but felt that the Church was too corrupt, and had too many things wrong with it to continue as one of them.  
  
And after meeting Sam and Dean, living with Bobby, and seeing all the things they hunted, I didn’t really know what to think anymore. Clearly something had created these things, but why had he left? Why did boys like Dean get the weight of the world thrust upon their shoulders time and again? There were other people that could shoulder the burden, but the boys had to carry it alone.  
  
I set down the letter and smiled at Dean as I began to read through the rest of them. Dad’s was short, just long enough to tell me he loved me and to be careful, make sure I protected myself. Although, his hand written note was so difficult to decipher due to miss-spelled words, poor grammar, and generally messy script that I spent nearly as much time deciphering his letter as I had reading mom’s, I couldn’t help but chuckle as I put his away.  
  
Nicole wrote me a scathing letter telling me exactly what she thought of me and my absence, how no matter what was going on, what was chasing me, I should have let them know I was alive. My guilty conscience twinged again, but I felt a bit better when she began whining about how she hadn’t had anyone to complain to about Mom, she seemed more frustrated that I wasn’t around to bitch with than my actual absence. Apparently there were issues with what college she wanted to go to and what major she wanted to pursue. I felt bad for her. Maybe I could convince Dean to let me text her. It sounded like she really needed to talk.  
  
She also told me how attractive the boys were. Mentioned that while she believed in no sex before marriage, if I wasn’t jumping on one of them then I was officially the stupidest person she knew and she would disown me. She followed that up by saying I had better be on birth control or at least using condoms. I groaned at the embarrassment of having my virgin younger sister try to give me sex advice.  
  
I shook my head as I opened up Marie’s letter, beginning to fear what I would find written there. My mouth fell open as her envelope revealed not a letter, but pictures; pictures of her, Mom and Dad, Joey, Nicole, Melissa and Jaime, and the animals. I studied each one, drinking in their faces. The smiles on their faces soothing the ache I had felt with them missing from my life. The last picture was of Joey and Taz lying together on the couch, watching a movie. Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes and I tried to discreetly sniffle at the overwhelming feeling of love and homesickness washing over me.  
  
Bobby cleared his throat and got up from the table heading to the waffle iron I had brought with me. Soon the smells of waffles and bacon were drifting through the kitchen.  
  
I pulled myself together and shot a watery smile at Dean as I picked up the last letter, wondering if I would be able to handle reading it. Delving in, I was entranced my little brother’s childish handwriting.  
  
 _Sis._  
  
 _I’m so happy you aren’t dead! I was starting to worry you’d abandoned me. But those guys you sent told me that you were protecting me. I wish you didn’t have to stay away. But I know you’re just doing this for me._  
  
 _I know I say it a lot, but you really are my favorite sister._ _Nicole and Marie torture me!_ _I wish you could be here to protect me from them too. Guess you can only do one thing at a time though huh?_  
  
 _Are you gonna be OK? The guy with short hair (Dean?) said he was helping you protect us. I tried to get him to let me come see you, but he told me that I’d be putting you in danger by doing that. After you’ve gone through so much trouble to make sure we’re safe, it wouldn’t be very good of me to put you in danger._  
  
 _So he said that I can help you out the most by staying here and not talking to strangers. Then he gave me his number to call if I think something bad is going on. He seems like a good guy. But he looks sad about something. Do you know what it is?_  
  
 _Stay safe Sissy! I’ll do my part on this end to keep you safe. Don’t worry about us. We’ll be fine._  
  
 _Joey_

  
My mouth was wobbling even as I smiled. I looked at Dean with gratitude.  
  
“Thank you so much. For everything.” I said, unable to express what I was feeling.  
  
He smiled back at me,  
  
“You’re welcome for everything.” He covered my hand with his own, and I knew he understood.  
  
“Eat up!” Bobby ordered, setting a waffle and bacon in front of me, quickly followed by syrup and a glass of milk.  
  
“Aww… Thanks Bobby. You didn’t have to.” I told him.  
  
“Girl I know I don’t have to. But you made Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner, and breakfast and dinner just about every day. I can make you waffles and bacon this once.” He couldn’t help but wink at me in a fatherly way and a smile split my face as I dug in.  
  
“What? None for me?” Dean cried indignantly.  
  
“Boy, if you ever did any work around here maybe you’d get breakfast made for you sometime.”  
  
“Mina makes me breakfast.” He countered.  
  
“Exactly. It won’t hurt you to make your own food every once in a while.” Bobby said and sat back down to read the newspaper while he finished his coffee.  
  
Dean grumbled a bit as he poured some more batter in the iron for his own breakfast. I smiled contentedly as I browsed my family’s letters again; going through every picture, lingering at each face.  
  
I thought about what Joey had said about Dean. It seemed like Dean had really made an effort with my family, made an impression on them. I was grateful for that fact. Good to know that they liked him and seemed to approve of him. Sneaking glances as he lazily made his own breakfast, I couldn’t help the special little smile that slid into place.  
  
The rest of breakfast went by in a happy haze. Sam made his way out as we were all just about finished, grabbing a plate of the extra food Dean had made.  
  
Dean finished up and put his plate in the sink before going outside. Figuring he had stuff in the Impala he hadn’t brought in last night I ignored his return until I heard nails scrabbling along the floor.  
  
Whipping around, I saw a very familiar beast barreling towards me.  
  
“Luna!” I cried and threw myself at her.  
  
We collided into a wiggly embrace. She nearly burst in two trying to reach everywhere at once. Her big rounded nose sniffing and licking everything within reach, my whole focus on her I didn’t even stop to ponder where she had come from or why she was here. Laughter bubbled up from somewhere deep inside as I hugged and kissed her. I hadn’t allowed myself to think about her, not needing another thing to miss.  
  
“Your family helped me get in contact with Doug. When I explained what I wanted, he said Luna was all yours.” I heard Dean say from somewhere above me.  
  
I looked up, managing to pry my eyes off of Luna, intending to thank him all over again, when my heart stopped.  
  
“What is that?” I asked; voice on the verge of cracking as he set the ball of fluff on the floor.  
  
“It’s the other half of your present.”  
  
“What?” Almost afraid to move, fearing that I would wake up and this would all be a dream.  
  
“Luna is trained, like we needed her to be. But I know you wanted a puppy. But a puppy can’t be trained for protection for several months. So when I talked to Doug about it, he said he knew of a puppy you’d love, but that you should have Luna as well. Merry Christmas, Babe!” He smiled and crouched down next to me.  
  
My eyes started to fill with tears as I pulled the ball of fluff to me and hugged it tight as Luna settled down and began to explore the rest of the kitchen and say hello to Bobby and Sam.  
  
Studying the fluff ball, I noted its’ light grey color, almost tan in some areas, with some darker grey and black tipping certain areas along its’ back. I laughed as I identified the breed.  
  
“Dean?”  
  
“Yes, Mina?”  
  
“Do you know what kind of puppy this is?” I asked turning to him and raising an eyebrow.  
  
“A fluffy one.”  
  
I laughed outright at that, unable to contain the mirth bubbling within.  
  
“You’re right. It is fluffy. It will also get big.”  
  
Dean was starting to get wary.  
  
“I know. That’s the point.”  
  
“Very big.”  
  
“OK, what is it?” He asked, thoroughly afraid now.  
  
“A Tibetan Mastiff.”  
  
I waited for Dean to grasp what that meant.  
  
“Don’t mastiffs drool?”  
  
“Excessively.” I smiled smugly at him.  
  
“What did I just get myself into?” He asked in exasperation even as he smiled at me.  
  
“I don’t know. But no Takesies-Backsies!” I cried gleefully.  
  
Nuzzling into my puppy’s fluff I pondered possible names, discarding several before settling on Skender. I looked at Dean to discover him watching me with a sappy smile on his face. I smiled back before turning to Bobby,  
  
“You’re OK with this?”  
  
“Of course I’m OK with this. You really think these idjits would do somethin’ as stupid as bring back 2 dogs without asking my permission first?” Bobby chuckled, “They aren’t _quite_ that dumb.”  
  
I caught Dean throwing Bobby a bitchface out of the corner of my eye as Sam and I laughed.  
  
“Where were they all night?”  
  
“We kept them in kennels in the garage overnight; figured if you saw the dogs first you wouldn’t be able to read the letters.” Sam explained.  
  
“Oh.” I replied; face starting to ache from all the smiling, but I didn’t mind. “Luna, come!”  
  
Luna came tearing back over, still an excitable bundle of energy. The little white Bull Terrier snuffled up to me and flopped across my lap, begging for belly rubs. I obliged, setting Skender down, and loving on my new babies.  
  
“Don’t forget to take care of your rats now that you have new pets.” Sam said from behind me.  
  
Filled with indignation, I turned around ready to give him a tongue lashing he’d never forget, but the grins on everyone’s faces told me I’d been baited. I chuckled as I looked at them. Then got up and headed to my room to get dressed, Skender and Luna following along behind me.  
  
My babies stayed nearby as I changed and got ready for the day. I thought of everything I would need for them, deciding a trip to town was necessary.  
  
“Does Luna have a leash?” I asked Dean when he popped into our room.  
  
“Yeah. Doug gave me her leash and collar.” He watched as I floated around the room, frequently bending down to give kisses or scratch an ear. “Did I do alright?”  
  
“You did great.” I answered and kissed him where he sat on the edge of the bed. “I’m going into town to pick up some stuff for them. Wanna tag along?”  
  
“Guess so. Not sure how much help I’ll be though.”  
  
“That’s alright. It’ll just be nice to have you there.” I tilted my head back to look into his face. “I missed you.”  
  
He kissed my forehead saying,  
  
“I know. I missed you too.”  
  
“Wish you didn’t feel the need to go hunting.” I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head on his chest.  
  
“I know, but there’s a chance we’ll find out how to undo my deal on one of these hunts. Might find Lilith somewhere.” He held me in a tight embrace, head resting on the top of mine.  
  
We stayed tucked together for a time; each deep in our own thoughts.  
  
“What made you decide to get me dogs?” I finally asked, breaking the silence that had filled the room.  
  
“Well, you are a dog trainer, and when you talked about Taz I could see how much you missed him, missed having a dog of your own. And… We’ve all been working hard tryin’ to figure out how to get me outta this deal, but so far, we haven’t sorted it out. This is a… Just in case somethin’ goes wrong. I wanted to make sure you have an extra layer of protection, Bobby and Sam care about you, but… I just want you to always have something to watch out for you. And these 2,” he gestured to Luna and Skender, “They’ll take care of you.”  
  
Tears pricked my eyes as I realized what he was doing. Last night I had thought that he wouldn’t always be able to protect me, yet here he was, making sure I always would be. These dogs were an “In Case of Emergency” gift. And I appreciated his forethought, if not the reason for it. He would always be looking out for me.  
  
He kissed my lips briefly, sensing my dark thoughts. Trying to change the subject he asked,  
  
“What are you gonna name this little monster?” As he scooped him up into his arms.  
  
“Skender.” I replied smiling, enjoying the image of Dean holding a puppy far too much.  
  
“What does that mean?”  
  
“It’s Romanian. Like mine.” I smirked.  
  
“OK… What does it mean?”  
  
“Look it up.” Luna followed me as I left the room laughing, Dean left standing there, confused, holding a ball of fluff.


	17. Anywhere I Would Have Followed You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> This Chapter has a lot of anger, pain, grief, and depression in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Say Something" - covered by Pentatonix  
> I honestly love their version far more than the original. If you've never heard of them, they're an A Capella group that won the first season of The Sing Off. They're phenomenal even if the way the girl holds her mouth when she sings drive me NUTS.

_The months continued on their march through time, never slowing down. Dean and Sam didn’t go on many hunts anymore, Dean preferred to stay at home and savor what time he had left. He never admitted that was why, but everyone understood. Mina was ecstatic to have Dean there all the time, the smile ever present on her face, causing Dean’s heart to stutter._  
  
 _Dean often watched Mina through the window, the dogs following her everywhere. Skender had grown by leaps and bounds; the little ball of fluff was not quite so little anymore. Mina worked tirelessly with the 2 dogs, honing Luna’s protection instincts and instilling loyalty in Skender, demanding obedience in every instance. Dean marveled at the effortless way she worked with them. He had never before watched her at work until after he got her the dogs._  
  
 _She had recently requested his help with protection training., and to watch her standing there up close and personal: feet apart, shoulders back, head cocked to the side, face serene; it sent chills up his spine. She was at home with the dogs. Dean had never seen Mina more confident. Her voice was quiet but filled with authority at each command, the dog springing into action. Even though he wore the bite suit, it was intimidating to have Luna eyeing him, lip curling back. A quiet,_  
  
 _“Watch ‘em.”_  
  
 _And Luna was lunging forward growling and barking, attacking with force and speed. Biting arm or leg, it didn't matter, she was searching and waiting for a weakness. Yet all it took was_  
  
 _“Luna, out.”_  
  
 _And Luna would immediately stop attacking. She would step back in front of Mina, a protective barrier, daring anyone to cross her. Dean was pleased by the devotion Luna showed towards his Mina. Mina had assured him that Skender showed promise once he was old enough to view things as a job, not just a game._  
  
 _The sight of the gallivanting trio warmed him from the inside. Hopefully the dogs would be enough of a comfort to her after he was dragged to Hell to keep her from becoming too depressed. They would sleep with her and keep her warm at night. He wanted to protect her from as much hurt as possible. For, while he still kept up the façade of searching for a way out, he had come to terms with the fact that he was going to Hell, he couldn’t escape it._  
  
  


* * *

  
  
_Every night before bed, Mina would get out 1 or 2 of her rats out at a time, and play with them. She had taught the dogs immediately that the rats were to be left alone. Dean had been amazed when she succeeded in getting Luna to ignore them. He didn’t think it would be possible, but within 5 minutes Luna had walked away from them, and there had never been a problem._   
  
_Skender loved to smell and snuffle the rats, and Dean had noticed that one of the rats in particular, Sansa, he thought, would play with Skender. Jumping at him and hopping around, he had watched her climb on him and ruffle through his fur. Skender ate up the attention, and would occasionally lick the little rat. Mina smiled and laughed at the unusual friends. Dean loved to watch her face, it lit up the room. Even Bobby and Sam sometimes seemed enchanted by her. She had always been a source of cheer and merriment, but now she went beyond that, Mina was effervescent. She was the bright spot keeping away their depression._   
  


* * *

  
  
  
_“Mina?”_  
  
 _“Hmmmm?”Mina mumbled, almost asleep._  
  
 _Dean started kissing Mina’s bare shoulder, her flesh dimpling at the touch. She wiggled closer, her ass grinding into his crotch. Dean stifled a groan at the contact, nipping Mina’s shoulder gently, earning him a grumble of protest._  
  
 _“What?” She asked him again, rolling over to face him._  
  
 _Dean brought his hands up to Mina’s face, thumbs brushing across her cheeks. Her eyes half-closed from sleep and contentment, a cute, barely conscious smile parting her lips. Dean’s heart constricted at the love he saw on her face. He knew she cared for him, but only in her most unguarded moments, did the walls slip down enough to reveal the true depths of her feelings towards him._  
  
 _He was afraid of what his feelings for her might be. She was what he thought of when he woke up, and it was the warmth of her, wrapped in his arms that he fell asleep too every night. Here with Mina, and Sam, and Bobby… He didn’t know if there was any way for him to be happier. He had even grown to like the dogs. Luna was an exuberant and devoted companion. Skender was still a cute puppy, and who doesn’t fall in love with a puppy? In addition, under Mina’s tutelage, they were both incredibly well-behaved. There had been no complaints from anyone; Mina knew what she was doing._  
  
 _“Dean?” Mina’s voice brought him back to reality._  
  
 _He looked into her eyes for several moments before kissing her passionately, fingers wrapping into Mina’s hair, pulling her closer still. Her fingers spread over Dean’s chest, warm and feather light. She would never know how crazy her touch drove him. He felt Mina sigh and melt into his kiss, surrendering to him completely._  
  
 _“Mina…”_  
  
 _Dean breathed as he moved over her throat, to her collarbone. His mouth was gentle, a caress against her silky skin. Dean loved the way her chest rose at his touch, her gentle inhalations assuring Dean of his success. He loved nothing more than to please and pleasure her. He flicked his eyes to Mina’s face as his tongue trailed over the swell of her breast, teasing a whimper from the beautiful woman beneath him._  
  
 _“So fuckin’ beautiful.” He heard her soft chuckle._  
  
 _“Tell me something I don’t know.” Mina smirked._  
  
 _“You’re perfect.”_  
  
 _“Ah. I know that too.”_  
  
 _“I meant,” Dean told her, drunk on the feel of her skin and the look in her eyes he continued, “perfect for me, Mina.”_  
  
 _“How much did you drink at dinner tonight, Goof?” Mina teased, although he could feel the new tension in her body._  
  
 _Dean regretted admitting his feelings to her. Perhaps he had misread the signs and she didn’t feel that way about him. His mind worked quickly to salvage his pride._  
  
 _“Your body is just so perfect for me Mina. To fuckin’ perfect. No guy in his right mind doesn’t look at you and see perfection. I walk around with you on my arm and every guy wants to be me.” Dean told her, applauding his fast thinking._  
  
 _“What?” Mina asked, surprising him as she sat up forcing him back._  
  
 _Confused, Dean sat back on his heels._  
  
 _“What’s wrong?”_  
  
 _“Is that all I am to you? Eye candy? A trophy? A warm body to fuck when you’re home and horny?” She whispered furiously. “Did you bring me back here because I’m just the best thing you’ve found?”_  
  
 _“No! Of course not!” Dean tried to assure her, back pedaling quickly, realizing his mistake. “Your beauty had nothing to do with it, Babe. Sam, Bobby, and I all agreed Lilith would come after you when she came back. We figured it’d be best to have you close when she does come for you.”_  
  
 _Mina was quiet, and Dean let out a breath. He could see her mulling his words over._  
  
 _“You bein’ so gorgeous was just a plus.” He smiled at her as he tilted her chin up to look him in the eye, and was surprised to see her eyes narrowed and lips pursed tightly. There was an intensity in her gaze as she studied him. Her voice was low, pain marring its’ usual melody._  
  
 _“You brought me back because Lilith is coming for me.” She stated._  
  
 _“Yeah. Want you close by when she does.” Dean replied, not understanding where this was going._  
  
 _“When she comes for me, it will give you the opportunity to escape your contract, while still saving Sam, right?” Her lips pulled together into a line._  
  
 _“Yes…” He answered warily._  
  
 _Mina lowered and shook her head, lips parting in a wry smile of disbelief._  
  
 _“I should have known.”_  
  
 _“What are you talking about?” Dean asked her, puzzlement written across his face._  
  
 _“It was never about keeping me safe. It was about using me as a lure for Lilith in order to save_   **you** _.” Mina shoved Dean away as she crawled off the bed and grabbed her clothes from his floor._  
  
 _“Mina, wait! Yes, we saw the opportunity, but you were safer with us anyways.” Dean tried to persuade her. “What are you doing?” He demanded as she moved towards the door._  
  
 _“I gave up everything to come here because_   **you**   _told me it was safer! I gave up a decent job, my friends, my FAMILY because of_   **you** _!_   **You**   _said it wasn’t safe for them! But that wasn’t the reason you brought me here! You would have left me there, if it hadn’t been for the fact that you could use me!”_  
  
 _“Mina…!”_  
  
 _“Don’t. Just Don’t.” She whirled on him, face a mask of pain and anger, “Worse than anything is the fact that you never told me. You lied to me, and not just then, but this whole time. You could have been honest with me! You could have told me that day in the hospital. I would have still come with you, but I would have known everything! I could have been putting so much more effort into learning to be a hunter to protect myself. But y’all probably figured I wouldn’t cooperate if I knew, and that would have ruined all of your plans.” Mina’s eyes sparkled with unshed tears a her low voice switched to a spiteful, ragged whisper as she spit out, “Just go to Hell.” and opened the door before running to her room on silent feet._  
  
 _Dean sat on his bed in shock at the turn the night had taken. He heard her door shut quietly, even in her anger, Mina was still considerate of the others asleep in the house. Dean mentally kicked himself for being so stupid. Why hadn’t he just kept his damn mouth shut? It would’ve been better to get rejected than to have her hate his guts. Did she really want him to go to Hell? Had she really meant that? She couldn’t have meant that, she was just angry, right?_  
  
 _Dean felt his heart twist at the possibility of her meaning it. He had believed her to be in love with him. It looked as though even if she had been in love with him, she wasn’t anymore. Deep down, Dean even knew he deserved her wrath. He had knowingly kept everything secret from her, hidden the actual reason for her being here on purpose, because he had thought she wouldn’t have agreed. He had put his wants and needs before hers. He hadn’t given her an opportunity to make her own decisions. It had been his decision to sell his soul for Sam in the first place, and he had been the one to fuck everything up. She had every right to despise him._  
  
 _Dean hung his head in guilt, he would have been furious in her position. He would probably leave…_  
  
 _“Oh God! What if she leaves?” Dean moaned aloud._  
  
 _Fear of her departure stayed with him throughout that long night. Lying awake in bed, tossing and turning, listening for any sign of her, occasionally Dean would get up and silently creep to the door of her room. Mina was nearly silent, but the sounds of crying could be heard emanating softly from within._  
  


* * *

  
  
  
_Finally Dean could stand lying in bed no longer, and made his way to the kitchen, starting breakfast to keep busy. As the sun came up, Sam then Bobby made their way in. Throwing surprised looks Dean’s way as they took in the food he had prepared and the bags under his eyes. Wisely choosing not to comment on either, they went about their business eating and chatting about mundane topics._   
  
_It grew later and Mina still hadn’t made an appearance. The dogs were let out and fed by Dean, whom they then attached themselves to for the rest of the day. Eventually, Bobby started to express worry at Mina’s tardiness, fearing her to be sick._   
  
_“She’s fine. Probably just tired, wanted to sleep in.” Dean spoke up when Sam offered to go check on her._   
  
_“I still feel like we ought to make sure she’s feeling alright.” Sam said and walked down the hallway._   
  
_*knock, knock, knock* and to Dean’s surprise, he heard the sound of a door opening._   
  
_“What?” Mina said in a low hoarse voice._   
  
_“Are you alright, Mina? I just wanted to make sure you weren’t sick.” Sam said as politely as possible._   
  
_“I’m not physically ill.” She told him._   
  
_“You don’t look or sound very good. Are you sure you aren’t sick?” Sam pushed._   
  
_“Only sick of being used and lied to.” She informed Sam tiredly as she shut the door again._   
  
_Dean almost couldn’t bear to look at Sam as he walked back into the kitchen with a confused look on her face._   
  
_“Dean, Mina just said she’s sick of being used and lied to. Did something happen between you 2?”_   
  
_Dean laid his head on the table for a moment, before sitting back up and rubbing his eyes,_   
  
_“She figured out that we brought her here and have been keeping her close by to draw in Lilith.”_   
  
_“Balls!” Bobby exclaimed. “How’d she figure it out?”_   
  
_“We were talking last night, and I said some stuff, and she put it together. She’s not stupid.”_   
  
_Sam leaned back in his chair before saying,_   
  
_“No wonder she’s pissed at us. I wouldn’t wanna look at us either.”_   
  
_The 3 men looked at each other, all at a loss for what to do. They remained silent until they each eventually got up to go about their respective tasks for the day._   
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
I spent most of the day just lying on my bed. I was lost, and floated in and out of consciousness. I couldn’t bear to think of the secret I had uncovered, so I kept my mind purposefully blank. I waited until late in the afternoon, when I had heard all of them leave. Once the house was empty, I finally peeked my head out of my room just to be sure.  
  
I made my way to the kitchen and made myself a big Turkey sandwich with potato chips. I even allowed myself a glass of the wine I had bought weeks prior. It didn’t exactly go very well, but I needed something to make my brain fuzzy. Indulging in a habit I hadn’t really partaken of much since moving here, I decided to read a good book as I ate, transporting myself out of my mind and to a different world. It didn’t last as long as I had hoped, but I didn’t want to risk staying out to long and meeting one of the boys.  
  
After I had finished, I meandered into the living room to say hello to my rats, also wanting to make sure that they had enough food and water. I opened the door and began saying hello to everyone when I noticed that Lolli and Tris, the oldest and the youngest, seemed lethargic. I brought them out and held them in my lap to check on them and give them some extra love and attention.  
  
Within an hour, Lolli followed quickly by Tris, began to spasm and seizure in my arms as I held each one close with tears in my eyes, whispering words of love and comfort to them. Within minutes of each other I felt them breathe their last and watched the life leave their soft little bodies.  
  
My already broken heart shattered even more as I held their lifeless bodies and cried at the loss of my little rattie angels. I sobbed hard as all of the emotions I had been trying to hold back, only released in small bits, burst forth as water from a breaking dam. I couldn’t hear or see anything. My sense of time was gone, I have no idea how long it was before the strong arms I barely even felt, wrapped around me, without even thinking I let those arms hold me and turned to them for comfort, hoping that they could hold me together and keep me from shattering as completely as my heart had.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**_Come home ASAP. Mina needs you. –Sam_ **   
  
_Was the text message that made Dean’s heart stop. What did he mean Mina needed him? What sort of trouble was she in? Dean didn’t know, but he took off running towards the house through the maze of rusty vehicles to the house, the dogs running along beside him._   
  
_It took only minutes, but it felt like hours as possible scenarios for what had happened to her ran through his head. Had Lilith come for her and neither the boys nor the dogs had been there to protect her? Had she injured herself? What had happened?_   
  
_He raced up the steps, barely managing not to barrel through the door, and rushed into the house. He looked around wondering where she was when he realized there was horrible, gut-wrenching, bone deep sobbing coming from the living room. The dogs had already rushed past him anxious to find their distressed owner._   
  
_“Dean!”_   
  
_“Sammy!” he replied as he hurried in to find Mina limp, crying uncontrollably in his brother’ arms. Jealousy surged up within him, but he tamped it down knowing he had no right to be upset. Sam was looking up at him helplessly as he supported Mina as she sobbed against him, holding something small in her arms. The dogs were pressed close, their chins resting on her knees, eyes full of worry as they stared at their inconsolable master._   
  
_Dean stepped forward and sat down on the other side of her and pulled her tight as Sam released his hold._   
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
“Mina?” I heard through the fog in my brain, a voice I knew well and needed at that moment.  
  
“Dean.” I hiccupped through my sobs.  
  
“Please, Baby, tell me what’s wrong. Are you hurt?” He almost begged.  
  
I shook my head no as I tried to calm myself down enough to speak.  
  
“What’s wrong, Hon? Is it about last night?”  
  
Again I shook my head no, a new wave of tears nearly choking me.  
  
“Can you tell me what’s going on? Why are you crying?”  
  
“Lo-Lolli. Tris!” I managed to squeeze out as I hyperventilated.  
  
“What about them?” He asked me.  
  
I held the 2 lifeless bodies out for him to see.  
  
“Died,” I said, as I began to cry again.  
  
Dean looked down at my babies and his face broke just the tiniest bit, as he saw them before he pulled me in tight.  
  
“I am so sorry, Sweetheart. I am so sorry about everything. They shouldn’t have died.”  
  
“They were sick when I came out of my room. And before I knew it, they were gone.”  
  
“I’m so sorry, Mina. Do you want to bury them in the yard?” Sam’s mellow soothing voice came from somewhere behind me.  
  
I nodded to let him know, yes, I did want to do that.  
  
“Can we plant a tree over them?” I asked, calming down just a little, beginning to regain control of my emotions.  
  
“We can do whatever you want Mina.” Dean responded.  
  
I stood up, cradling Lolli and Tris gently in my arms, as I walked out the door, still fighting tears. I could see Luna and Skender on either side of me, brushing against me as we moved. Skender leaned in and licked my leg briefly. I marveled at the animals ability to discern my pain, and their empathy, their compassion in wanting to comfort me.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
_Sam and Dean followed Mina and the dogs out of the house, grabbing a shovel as they passed the Impala. She led them past the lot of broken down cars and to a small grove farther out. There was a clearing in the middle of the trees, Mina stopped in the middle, glancing over at Dean with tears still fresh on her face. He understood what she was saying. He walked closer and began to dig in front of her, making a deep hole in hopes to keep out any scavengers._   
  
_When Mina felt the hole was deep enough, she gently laid the 2 girls in the Earth. She stared at them for a moment, as though willing them back to life, before she began scraping the dirt over top of them, tears slipping silently down her face._   
  
_Dean ached for her as he watched. She had found out that the people she had believed to be her friends, the 3 people she had come to count on, had been keeping a big secret from her that nearly shattered her world, and then lost part of her world with the death of 2 of her beloved animals. He had never meant to hurt her, and he hated the fact that he had put so much weight on her right before she lost Lolli and Tris._   
  
  


* * *

  
  
I couldn’t bear to be there anymore. Standing up quickly, I walked away in a trance, my empty arms dangling uselessly at my sides. Skender and Luna nosed them, trying to get my attention, but I barely even felt it. I was numb to everything. Someone said my name, but it never registered as belonging to me. Too much had happened in less than 24 hrs, my brain shut itself down, trying to escape the hurt and the betrayal, the pain and the grief.


	18. I'm Hard to Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title- "I'm Hard to Love" by Lee Brice

I only wanted to go lay down again, curl up and pray that the past 24 hours had all been just a cruel dream, but Sam's hand on my arm stopped me. I don't know when he had caught up with me, but now he was pulling me into the kitchen and forcing me to sit down. Under different circumstances I would have fought him, but I didn't have the will to shake him off.  
  
He led me to a chair and I obediently sat down, staring off into space. The looks of concern between the brothers being shot over my head were lost on me. I didn't notice the conversation going on around me; it was merely a buzzing in the air.  
  
"Mina, I'm gonna make you something to eat alright?" A vaguely masculine sound buzzed nearby. "What do you want? Are you hungry for anything in particular?"  
  
The buzzing didn't make sense to me.  
  
"You need to eat. If you don't tell me what you want I'm just gonna pick for you."  
  
Why was the buzzing so persistent?  
  
"Maybe I'll make you something you really hate." The buzzing was quiet for a minute. "I'm pretty sure Sam has some fish in the fridge. I'll make you eat it." It threatened.  
  


* * *

  
_Dean was at a loss at the lack of response. Mina despised fish. She would rather eat anything else, just so long as it wasn't seafood. Her lack of response was scarier than her sobbing. He turned to Sam helplessly, begging him with his eyes to do something, to help him fix this._  
  
"Let's make her something she really likes." Sam said, his statement coming out as more of a question.  
  
Dean nodded once, hoping it would work. He began searching, finding some of her favorite foods. He quickly had the potatoes peeled, slice and boiling; while he waited for the potatoes to cook he set about making some pan fried chicken. Sam attempted to keep talking to her, hoping something he said would draw a spark from her.  
  
It startled both Sam and Dean when she suddenly stood up.  
  


* * *

  
The air was beginning to choke me. The buzzing had begun to be words again. I was no longer numb to everything. I still wasn't functioning properly, but I could recognize Sam speaking to me. He sounded so worried, but as though he still wanted to come off normally. Dean was in the room too, I could hear the occasional rumble that meant he was nearby.  
  
In a rush everything became clear to me. The thoughts I had been trying to block out all day pounded inside my head. I felt a blinding rage as I looked up and remembered the truth that they had kept from me, the lies they had told. I couldn't bear to be with them for one second longer.  
  
I stood up, shoving my chair back with no warning. I barely noticed the looks of shock on their faces through the film of anger enveloping me. I grabbed my keys from the hook next to the door where they usually hung untouched.  
  
"Luna! Skender!" I barked out as I marched through the door.  
  
The dogs were quick to follow even before my call. I trudged through the deepening dark out to my car, opening the door for the dogs before climbing in myself. I had no idea where I was going as I drove away. I just knew I needed to escape.  
  


* * *

  
I didn't drive for very long. It wasn't about running away, it was about needing time to clear my head without the boys stifling me even as they tried to back off and give me space. They still would have been hanging close and checking in on me with worried frowns creasing their brow. I was too mad at them to have them being all caring and compassionate. So I drove out to a stream, needing the soothing tones of the water to set my head straight and calm me down.  
  
I laid down on the hood of my car, staring up at the stars as the dogs explored the world around us. Their excited snuffling mixed with the sounds of the babbling water to soothe the ache deep in my heart.  
  
The first thing on my mind was last night's altercation and eventual blowout with Dean. I could understand why they wanted to use me as bait. Hell! I even agreed with it! Anything to save Dean. What I couldn't handle was the secrets and the lying. I hadn't kept anything from them, and I would appreciate it if they'd offer me the same curtesy.  
  
The lights in the sky sparkled as I slowly let go and forgave them. I was still mad and hurt, but I knew I could get passed it. I only hoped that Dean would be able to forgive me for my outburst. How could I have really told him to go to Hell? That was my worst nightmare! I lived in constant fear that we wouldn't be able to save him. It invaded every aspect of my day, every night it got harder to sleep as the deadline drew near. I hoped he could forgive me and understand I hadn't meant it. I would take the words back if I could.  
  
As I sorted through the fight in my mind, and my anger ebbed, I began to remember my fur babies. It had been upsetting to discover them sick and horrible to watch them die in my arms only a short time later. Tears slipped down my face as I remembered good times with Lolli and Tris. Lolli loved to sit on my shoulder, happy to stay there and not move for hours. Occasionally giving kisses or nuzzling my ear. Tris on the other hand had been a whole other ball game. I smiled fondly as I recalled her insistence on sassing me. That girl did what she wanted when she wanted. She had an attitude, but she still managed to show affection in her own special way. I chuckled remembering how she always grabbed at fingers when I opened the door to feed them, so impatient! She never bit hard enough to draw blood. It was almost a reprimand for waiting so long to feed her, even if she had just been fed.  
  
Thinking about the good things made me feel better. I was still mourning their loss, but it wasn't quite so bitterly as before.  
  
With a sigh I sat up and looked around for the dogs, calling out for them when I realized they weren't nearby. It wasn't long before I heard them crashing through the brush. Skender leapt forward and tried to climb onto the car with me. I couldn't help but chuckle at his unsuccessful attempts to join me. Luna came barreling towards me, tongue lolling out as she seemed to laugh along.  
  
We were quickly on the road back home, I wasn't relishing the thought of confronting the boys or Bobby. But I knew I had to do it sooner rather than later. There was never going to be a good time, may as well do it now while I had my thoughts all sorted out, right?  
  


* * *

  
When I pulled in, I could see that Bobby was home now and couldn't help but groan at the idea of facing him as well as the boys, for I was sure he had known just as much as the boys. For all I knew, it could have even been his idea. With a sense of dread, I had to steel myself to give them a talking to, I have never enjoyed conflict.  
  
With a deep breath, I opened the door and discovered all 3 men sitting at the table in anticipation of my return.  
  
Dean jack-knifed up and out of his chair rushing over to fold me into a tight hug. I wanted to let myself relax into it, but knowing I needed to be stern with him I forced myself to stiffen in his arms.  
  
"I was so afraid you weren't ever coming back." Dean said as he held me.  
  
"And leave the rest of my rats behind?" My reply was cold.  
  
Dean pulled away with a look of hurt in his eyes that made my heart twinge.  
  
"I kept food warm for you..." He almost pleaded.  
  
I closed my eyes for a moment before nodding my head, knowing he would understand I was hungry and was trying to forgive him. I opened my eyes again and finally acknowledged the other 2 men in the kitchen.  
  
Sam had his head down guiltily, unable to even meet my eye. Bobby had a beer bottle in his hands on the table in front of him, old baseball cap in its usual place on his head. He was slumped forward, a defeated set to his shoulders, watching me warily from narrowed eyes.  
  
Dean stepped back over to me, a plate of chicken, mashed potatoes, and biscuits in his hands. He looked so lost, standing there, unsure of what to do. This Dean standing before me finally broke through to me. My Dean was never unsure of himself. He always knew exactly what to do and how to handle any situation.  
  
I wearily took the plate of food from his hands, and looking up into his face for a few moments I leaned up to give him a quick peck on the cheek.  
  
He looked down at me in shock, questions etched into his handsome face.  
  
“I forgive you, Asshole. Just no more secrets, alright?” He nodded quickly, probably to apologize and make promises he’d have a hard time keeping. “I mean it Dean. I hate secrets. And that one was a fucking huge one. You put me in danger by keeping me in the dark.”  
  
I looked at all of them, locking eyes with each one.  
  
“Each of you did. I understand why you wanted me here, in fact, I think it’ a half-way decent plan. But I should not have been kept in the dark. I am not a delicate little flower that you need to protect and shelter from the storms. Yes, Bobby, you may have taught me how to throw knives, and shoot a gun, but I would have put way more effort into learning self-defense if I had known you are all expecting Lilith to come find me.”

They each looked around guiltily, silent as my words sunk in.  
  
It was Sam who finally broke the quiet,  
  
“We didn’t ever mean to cause any harm for you. We thought we could keep you safe if she did come for you.” He said earnestedly. “We didn’t want to cause you emotional trauma.”  
  
“Emotional Trauma?! Are you fucking kidding me right now? Every night I go to bed with the knowledge that we still have no way to keep Dean out of Hell! And that I fucked up by ganking her with that knife when she kidnapped me! I may have RUINED Dean’s only shot at getting out of this deal. I have nightmares about Lilith slaughtering my family in front of me. I was kidnapped and tortured by Lilith mere months ago on the first night I met you guys. So please, do tell me how you have been saving me from ‘emotional trauma’.”  
  
I set my plate down on the table with vehemence as I finished my tirade. Bobby and the boys just sat there stunned as I began to eat, suddenly ravenous.  
  
Dean looked at me with pain shining in his eyes.  
  
“I’m sorry, Mina. It was never like that. You know we all adore you. We really did just want to make sure you were safe.”  
  
“So you didn’t bother teaching me how to defend myself in every way possible?”  
  
“Mina, you know the hunter’s life isn’t easy. You know we never really settle down. We’re constantly putting ourselves in dangerous situations. We’re never really safe. I didn’t want to encourage the idea of you becoming a hunter.” Dean was pleading with me to understand, but I wasn’t willing to let it go yet.  
  
“Dean,” I leaned forward and put my hand on his, “Those are exactly the reasons you should have told me everything and taught me how to defend myself.”  
  
“But…”  
  
“No. No, buts Dean,” I stopped him, shaking my head. “I have never wanted to become a hunter. It’s not for me. It’s fine for you, even though for your own sake I wish you wouldn’t. But I do not have the drive for that. I want to be at home with my animals. That’s where I belong. I liked learning how to throw knives, how to shoot a gun, any little thing I could scrounge to protect myself and you guys too if necessary. But a hunter I am not.”  
  
I eyed him, waiting for his response. When none was forthcoming I sighed and went back to my food. Everyone was quiet as I finished eating.  
  
Grabbing my dishes I started washing up after them trying to figure out what to say.  
  
“Look boys. I’m still pretty pissed off. But seeing as how we do still all have to live with each other I forgive you. Is there anything else you aren’t telling me?” I watched them, ready to catch any signs of deceit.  
  
Bobby rubbed his beard with a huff.  
  
“Well, we did get a possible lead on Bela.”  
  
“Bela? Isn’t she that no-good bitch who stole the Colt, and got the boys sent to jail? Which resulted in demons storming the place? And once they finally escaped, Lilith showed up and killed those people that they worked so hard to save?” I asked, anger bubbling up.  
  
“Yeah… That’s Bela.” Bobby nodded. “An old friend by the name of Rufus Turner says he knows where she is.”  
  
“Well that’s good right?” I asked hopefully.  
  
“Maybe. Rufus and I didn’t exactly part on good terms last time. So I don’t think you both should go see him.” Bobby told Sam and Dean.  
  
“Alright. I’ve got a lead on a zombie case that I can check in on. Dean can go see Rufus.” Sam decided.  
  
“No.” Everyone turned to me in shock.  
  
“What do you mean, ‘No’?” Sam asked with a hint of frustration.  
  
“I mean. If Rufus will open up to anyone it’s probably not gonna be Dean.”  
  
“OK. So then I’ll go.” I rolled my eyes at Sam.  
  
“No, Lurch. If anyone can get him to open up it will probably be a pretty waitress who can charm the pants off of her most disgruntled customers.”  
  
Sam got even more annoyed with me.  
  
“We don’t know any waitresses that well, Cosmina.” He told me with the most irritating note in his voice.  
  
“Sam. Don’t you ever take that tone of voice with me again. I am not stupid. And just because I’m a girl and you may as well be a foot taller than me does not me I won’t have your ass kicked 6 ways from Sunday.” I snapped at him.  
  
“Yeah? And how are you gonna do that?”  
  
“Aside from the dozens of knives I carry on my person at all times?” I smirked at him, “Luna!” I called, she sprang up to stand beside me, eyeing the boys carefully. “You know all I have to say is 2 words and she’ll be on your ass faster than you can blink.”  
  
“I can take her.” Sam said confidently, but the tense set of his body and the eyes he had trained on Luna spoke otherwise.  
  
“You do know that the whole reason these dogs are here is so that they can protect me when you fail, right?” I sneered at him. “She’s trained to keep fighting no matter what happens to her until I tell her to stop. So if you’d shut up and stop acting like I’m just a stupid girl then you would already know that I was gonna say I should be the one to go talk to Rufus. I was a waitress, and I can be incredibly charming when I feel like it. It’s hard to say no to me.”  
  
I could hear Dean chuckling as Sam watched me with his classic bitchface. I really wasn’t sure why he was being such an ass about this but I was done with it. He sometimes got this way and it always annoyed the crap out of me. Technically he was older than I, but he could act like such a child.  
  
“She has a point.” Bobby’s gruff voice mused. “Rufus is softer around women, and she can be the sweetest, most charming female when she wants something.” He winked at me.  
  
Unfortunately Sam couldn’t let it go just yet.  
  
“Thought you didn’t wanna be a hunter?”  
  
“This isn’t hunting, Sammy. We have 3 weeks to find Lilith and get her to release Dean’s soul. I suggest you let the person whose best at schmoozing people do this. I’m doing what I can to help Dean get out of his deal since I messed it up the first time around. I would think you’d understand.” I said giving him a look.  
  
I wanted to remind him of the fact that if he hadn’t gone off and gotten himself killed we wouldn’t be having this problem in the first place, but that was too bitchy even for me.  
  
“Fine.” Sam said, mouth still set in his bitchface as he got up and huffed off.  
  
“Well now that that’s settled…” Bobby said.  
  
“I’ll leave in the morning. I don’t wanna give that bitch any more time to run off.” I told Dean and Bobby.  
  
“I’m coming with you.” Dean said.  
  
“You should take care of Sammy. I’m just getting info.”  
  
“Mina, there is no way in Hell, that you are leaving Sioux Falls without someone there to keep you safe.”  
  
“I’ll have the dogs, my knives, a few guns.”  
  
“Not good enough.” He told me with exasperation. “Wasn’t it you just a few minutes ago yelling at me for not having taught you how to properly defend yourself?”  
  
Bobby stood up and headed to his bedroom calling over his shoulder,  
  
“I’ll let you 2 work this one out.”  
  
I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, the events of the past 24 hours catching up and taking their toll on me.  
  
“Alright. I don’t have the energy to fight you. You can come with me.” I told him and got up, too tired to do anything aside from go to bed.  
  
Dean got up with me and took 2 steps over wrapping me in his arms.  
  
“I’m so sorry Mina. I never meant to hurt you. Can you really forgive me?” I hugged Dean back and laid my head against his chest.  
  
“I can and I have.” He kissed my forehead before resting his cheek against the top of my head. “Can you forgive me for telling you to go to Hell? I didn’t mean it.”  
  
“Of course. If you can forgive me for lying to you for months then I can forgive a couple words spoken in anger at my mistake.” A huge weight lifted off my chest at his words.  
  
Before I could reply, a huge yawn split my face, causing Dean to chuckle as he bent his knees and picked me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and leaned my head on his shoulder as he carried me to his room.  
  


* * *

  
___Mina was practically asleep before he laid her gently on the bed. She smiled lazily up at him as he took her clothes off of her. She didn’t usually need his help, but he enjoyed taking care of her when she would let him._   
  
_Once she was stripped down and ready for bed she kissed him before rolling onto her side. Dean smiled down at the angel in his bed before sneaking to the bathroom for a quick shower. He thought about her as washed his hair, so glad she had come back. Her abrupt departure had left him reeling. He hadn’t known what to do with himself ‘til she came home._   
  


* * *

  
___Stepping back into his room his eyes slid over her sleeping form. Her scarred back was completely exposed to him, reminding him of all she had endured since meeting him. It made him ache to fully realize just how much she had been hurt. That first night she had been tortured, whipped, and broken. Then she’d had to pack up everything she owned and leave without so much as a goodbye to everything she had ever known. She’d fallen for him, knowing that she was gonna lose him. He didn’t know why she had allowed herself to do that. He never would have in her place. Then, she found out that he had lied to her and kept secrets for 8 months now._   
  
_He shook his head, still in disbelief that she was even speaking to him. His heart swelled with something he couldn’t quite place as he laid down beside her._   
  
_“I’m sorry Mina. I promise, no matter what. From now on, you’ll be safe with me.”_


	19. You're Gonna Kill That Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title is "You're Gonna Kill That Girl" by the Ramones

**_Carry on my wayward son! There’ll be peace when you are done, lay your weary head to rest! Don’t you cry no more._**  
  
“Mmmmm-nng,” I groaned as I rolled over to turn off my alarm.  
  
I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and flopped back down once the room was silent again.  
  
“Time to wake up.” I sing-songed as I shook Dean.  
  
“Nnooo…” He garbled out.  
  
A smile played across my lips as I cuddled up against his back and kissed along the tender skin of his neck and shoulders.  
  
“Mmmm…” Dean turned over and wrapped an arm around me before leaning in to give me a kiss.  
  
His lips were warm and soft against my own. I felt myself falling into them as he rolled over top of me. Wrapping my arms around him, his tongue begged entrance which was quickly granted.  
  
Despite the need to get on the road, I couldn’t help but succumb to him. I didn’t want to think of all the bad things. I just wanted to enjoy the good that was here with me right now.  
  
My hands worked their way up to play with his hair, running my fingers through it, dragging my nails along his scalp. Dean responded by grinding against me, a moan slipped out of our tangled mouths.  
  
“Mina… Aren’t we supposed to be going somewhere?” Dean asked breathlessly between kisses.  
  
“I swear to God Dean Winchester, if you leave me hanging right now I will never forgive you.” I growled at him.  
  
“Just checkin’, Babe.”  
  
Dean’s head quickly snaked down between my legs, and I gasped as I felt the roughness of his tongue and the scratch of his beard on my clit. I clutched at the sheets as he slowly unwound me.  
  
“Shh… Babe. Wouldn’t wanna wake up Bobby and Sam now would ya?”  
  
It was torturous having to hold back the sounds begging to escape as Dean found a sweet spot and began to work me over until I was so so close!  
  
“Dean…” I whimpered.  
  
Dean pulled away with a smirk,  
  
“Not just yet sweetheart.”  
  
But before I could complain he was at my entrance and quickly sheathed himself within me. A sigh escaped his lips as he bent down to kiss me.  
  
“So fuckin’ perfect. Always so tight around me.” He murmured against my lips as he began to rock back and forth, a quiet rhythm we had perfected after months of living with 2 other people.  
  
“Dean, I need you so much.”  
  
“I’m right here; I’ll take care of you. Keep you safe.” He murmured as his rhythm began to stutter.  
  
Knowing he was getting close, he reached a hand down and began to rub at my clit; my pleasure centers began overloading all over again.  
  
With a hand pressed to my lips, I came silently; body arching and quaking with abandon. My other hand leaving nail prints in Dean’s back. His thrusting jerked a few more times before I felt hot cum spill into me as his cock throbbed.  
  
Dean’s stiff body gently pressed into me, the weight of him making me feel safe and secure as he settled onto me, pressing kisses all over my face.  
  


* * *

  
Dean and I finally got on the road an hour later after fighting about whose car to take. Dean wanted to take the Impala, while I wanted to take my car.  
  
“My car gets way better gas mileage. Besides, Sam needs to use a vehicle.”  
  
“No way is he driving Baby all on his own. Besides, your car is a sissy ass vehicle that I refuse to be seen in.” Dean bitched.  
  
“We’re stopping every 10 minutes to fill up your car! Mine we could get there on one tank!” I argued.  
  
“We’re taking Baby or we’re not going.”  
  
“You mean  _you’re_  not going. You aren’t the boss of me, Dean Winchester! What makes you think you can tell me what to do?”  
  
Dean narrowed his eyes and his jaw started to flex as he started to get legitimately angry.  
  
“I’m the guy trying to make sure the girl he cares about doesn’t end up in Hell with him. That’s what makes me think I can tell you what to do.”  
  
I eyed him as I chose my next words.  
  
“How is Sam gonna get to his zombie case if you take Baby?”  
  
“Sam is gonna borrow one of Bobby’s cars. So if you 2 idjits would quit your bickering you could get on the road.” Bobby’s gruff voice spoke up behind us.  
  
“Fine, but just so you know Dean Winchester. Caring about me doesn’t mean you can dictate my life.” Dean started to interrupt but I cut him off. “One last thing, I will be driving that boat because I cannot bear to sit and be a passenger for hours on end.”  
  
With that I grabbed the keys, tossed my bag into Dean’s Baby, waved to Bobby and reminded him to take care of my babies, then hopped in the driver’s seat while Dean stood there stunned.  
  
“Are you coming or did you change your mind and wanna go with Sammy?”  
  
Dean finally moved and tossed his bag into trunk before opening up the door, all the while mumbling about mouthy females.  
  
“What was that Dean? I didn’t quite catch that.”  
  
Dean glared at me as I turned on the radio instead of his classic rock tapes.  
  
“Like you said Dean, ‘House rules: Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.”  
  


* * *

  
I knocked on the door, noticing the number of video cameras set up around the place. As well as a sign reading:  
  


> NO SOLICITORS
> 
> THAT MEANS YOU!
> 
> NO ASKING FOR DONATIONS!
> 
> NO SELLING ANYTHING

  
“What?!” A gruff voice asked from a speaker.  
  
“Hi. Rufus?” I said putting on a smile.  
  
“Yeah, and even if I am, the question is still the same. What?”  
  
I was rather taken aback, but decided to go for it, figuring he’d rather have a straight answer.  
  
“I’m Cosmina, this is Dean Winchester. We’re friends of Bobby Singer’s.”  
  
“So?”  
  
 _Geez!_  I thought to myself.  _What would he have been like for Dean? Bobby says he responds better to women. He probably would have shot Dean by now!_  
  
“You called him.”  
  
“So?”  
  
I smiled up into the video camera,  
  
“You told Bobby about a British girl that made contact with you.”  
  
“And so?”  _Jesus Christ it’s like pulling teeth!_  
  
“Do you know where she is?”  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“Great! Would you mind telling me where I can find her?”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Rufus. Sir?”  
  
The door opened up and a gruff older black man stepped out.  
  
“Let me point something out to you. You came knocking at my door. So don’t “Rufus” me.”  
  
“My apologies.” I said scrunching up my face in distress.  
  
“Look.” Rufus started to soften up a little, almost smiling at me. “Let me tell you a little story. Once upon a time, Bobby Singer called me up and said if I got a whiff of this Bela Talbot to give him a call. I got a whiff, I called. The End.”  
  
“Look, if you could just tell us where she is that’d be great.” Dean chimed in behind me.  
  
Rufus looked at Dean and any headway I had made fell to the wayside judging by the sneer that crossed his face as he said,  
  
“ _Dean_  Winchester, right?” He said emphasizing his first name.  
  
“Uh… Yeah.” Dean replied uncertainly.  
  
“Dean, do I look like I’m here to help you?”  
  
“I’m gonna say no.” Dean tried to smile and crack a joke.  
  
“Then get the Hell off my property.” Rufus said with a hint of violence.  
  
I decided it was about time to step in.  
  
“I’m so sorry, Rufus.” I said with as much apology in my voice I could manage without sounding insincere. “That’s fair enough. I never meant to bother you. But I do have just one more question.” I began to pull something out of the bag I had slung around my shoulder, “See, I’m hopeless with alcohol and I have this bottle of Scotch,” I held it up, and with the most innocent face possible asked, “Is this considered good?”  
  
Rufus gave me a devilish grin and invited me in. I smiled winningly at him before turning to Dean and glaring at him for almost blowing it.  
  


* * *

  
Once inside and seated at Rufus’ table, each of us with a glass in our hands, Rufus held his up and said,  
  
“Ya know? I don’t even bother drinking unless it’s this stuff. Nectar of the gods I tell ya.”  
  
“Yeah it’s a nice change. Most of the kind I get comes from a plastic jug.” Dean joked and both men laughed.  
  
“So… Bela was here…?” Dean asked, taking control of the situation.  
  
“She wanted to buy a couple’a things. Which is gonna take me some time to round up.”  
  
“Where is she now?”  
  
“Kid, can I ask you somethin’?”  
  
“Sure.”  
  
“You got 3 weeks left. Why are you wastin’ your time chasin’ after that skinny stuck-up English girl?” Rufus asked as his eyes danced over to me.  
  
Dean’s exhale sounded almost like a laugh,  
  
“How do you know ‘bout that?”  
  
Rufus leaned towards him before answering,  
  
“Because I know things. I know a lot of things, about a lot of people.”  
  
“That so?” Dean was starting to get angry.  
  
“I know ain’t no peashooter gonna save you.”  
  
“What makes you so sure?” I asked while Dean took a drink, I could see he was starting to get really upset.  
  
“Cause that’s the job kid; even if you manage to scrape outta this one, there’s just gonna be something else down the road. Folks like us, there ain’t no happy ending. We all got it comin’.”  
  
My heart sank as he stared at me, the weight of his gaze almost too much to bear. What had he gone through to make him so bitter?  
  
“Well ain’t you a bucket of sunshine?” Dean’s snark came out; if I weren’t so upset I would have kicked him.  
  
Rufus leaned back and stared at him before telling him,  
  
“I’m what you got to look forward to if you survive. But you won’t.”  
  
His statement hung in the air for a very pregnant moment before someone broke the silence.  
  
“So Bela?” I finally reminded him.  
  
“Hotel Canaan. Room 39. You better watch your back.”  
  
“I think I can handle Bela.” Dean said belligerently  
  
“Oh don’t be so sure about that. There are things that you don’t know about her.”  
  
“Oh and you do? Right! Because you know things.” Dean smirked.  
  
“Yep.”  
  
“Let me guess. You lift her finger print?”  
  
“Yep.”  
  
“And that got you jack.”  
  
“Yep. She burned ‘em off. Probably years ago.”  
  
“So you’re right where we are.”  
  
“Nope.” Rufus smiled at the look of shock on Dean’s face. “You do her ear?”  
  
“Sorry?”  
  
“You do her ear?”  
  
“Hey man, I’ll try anything once, but that sounds uncomfortable.” Dean’s comment had me rolling my eyes.  
  
“Ears are as unique to humans as fingerprints. Course that don’t fly in the courts over here, but in England they’re all over it. Friend of a friend of a friend. Faxed me 10 pages of confidential files, within a day, all I had to do was send him one clean shot off the security camera.”  
  
“Right, one clean shot of her ear.”  
  
Rufus handed him a file saying,  
  
“The so-called Bela Talbot.” The men exchanged looks as Dean opened the file, Bela’s dirtiest secrets laid out before him.  
  


* * *

  
“You almost ruined it you ass-hat!” I hissed at Dean as we walked towards Baby.  
  
“Nah! You had it.” Dean elbowed me.  
  
I glared at him.  
  
“Wouldn’t have had to share that bottle of Scotch if you hadn’t stepped in, Dean.” I pointed out.  
  
“Yeah, OK. That’s true.” Dean grumbled.  
  
“So next time I’m trying to charm and manipulate someone, keep your snark to yourself unless I ask for your help. Capiche?”  
  
Dean nodded ashamedly,  
  
“Capiche.”  
  


* * *

  
In the car after leaving Rufus' Dean and I were both buoyed by the knowledge gained, and disheartened by Rufus' words about Dean's chances. Little tears were ripping their way through my heart. It was looking very probable that I had only 3 weeks left with him, and that ripped me apart even more than his deception had. But this time I couldn't just leave. I was stuck in a car, and then a hotel with him for a very long time. I had to keep myself pulled together.  
  
Looking over at him I let myself be reminded of and distracted by how gorgeous he was. That chiseled jawline could make me swoon in a heartbeat. That wasn't even counting the eyes or the hair... And his cheekbones? Ugh! Don't get me started!  
  
Dean looked over at me, and the hard set to his jaw and the worried crease between his brows softened.  
  
"What are you thinkin' about?" He smiled softly at me.  
  
"Just figuring out what went wrong with your face." I winked at him.  
  
"Bitch!" Dean scoffed.  
  
"Dick." I teased with a laugh.  
  
Dean's hand snuck out and began to tickle my side.  
  
"No! Shit!" I laughed and tried to swat his hand away. “Stop it! No this is not OK!”  
  
My shrill shrieks along with Dean’s hearty laughter resonated within the Impala.  
  
“Dean, please?!”  
  
“Heh heh heh…” He chuckled darkly. “Alright.”  
  
“You suck.” I smiled at him.  
  
“You should know I don’t swing that way.” He winked at me.  
  
I just rolled my eyes at him.  
  
“So do you wanna come with me to face Bela?” He asked me.  
  
I had to think about it for a minute.  
  
“I don’t know Dean. I don’t think I could stop myself from ripping her hair out if I were to come face to face with the bitch.”  
  
“Come with me. You can stay in the car, be my backup, my lookout.” He goaded.  
  
“You should hear how ridiculous you sound right now.” I teased. “But OK. I’ll stay out in the car.” I acquiesced.  
  
“Awesome!”  
  


* * *

  
Dean called Sam to give him an update as we left the parking lot from Bela’s motel,  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
“What do you think?’  
  
“No. Bela deserves to die a million times over, but I couldn’t do it.”  
  
“I’m really screwed Sammy.”  
  
“No, you were right. Bela was a goose chase. Colt’s gone. And this time I’m really screwed Sam.”  
  
The conversation must have changed at that point as they began to talk about a ‘him’.  
  
“You OK? Was he there?”  
  
“Did you kill him?”  
  
“What do you mean no?”  
  
“What the ‘live forever’ formula?”  
  
“Let me guess I gotta drink out of a baby’s skull?”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“OK, so this formula?”  
  
“Sam?”  
  
“SAMMY?!!!”  
  
“DAMMIT!” Dean closed the phone violently.  
  
“What Dean?”  
  
“Sam found the zombie guy, turns out he’s a doctor who figured out how to live forever by stealing parts, Sam helped a girl escape, he was telling me about the Doc’s notes when the line went dead.”  
  
“Well, let’s go.” I said.  
  
“No. Mina, I’m dropping you off at the motel first, and then I’m going to take care of this. You are not a hunter and you should not be in that type of situation.”  
  
“Dean I can wait in the car.” I urged, not wanting to waste a second.  
  
“It’ll only take me an extra minute or 2 to drop you off, and I am not OK leaving you on your own in the car this time. This dude is crazy. Carves people up for their body parts. You’re gonna lock yourself in the motel, salt the windows and doors, paint a devil’s trap on the floor, and not unlock the door until you hear my voice and see my face through the peephole. Capiche?” Dean told me.  
  
I thought about arguing but we were already pulling into our motel parking lot as we spoke anyways.  
  
“Alright. Make sure you hurry and don’t let yourself or Sam get used for a science experiment gone wrong.” I kissed him on the cheek before grabbing my bag and barricading myself in my room.

 

* * *

 

It was about 11:00 when the boys got back, it was dark outside but I could just make out Dean’s features.

  
“Mina, open up already.” Dean’s impatient voice matched the exasperated look on his face, Sam standing uncomfortably behind him.  
  
“Just had to make sure it was really you, that grumpy demeanor sealed it.” I winked at him as I opened the door.  
  
Sam and Dean trooped in, Dean stopping to give me a hug before tossing his shit on a chair.  
  
“Good Lord do you reek!” I pushed him away as the smell of death and dirt and some overwhelming B.O. reached my nostrils.  
  
“Yeah. That place was no picnic, and digging really works up a sweat.” Sam grumbled from across the room.  
  
“You are taking a shower before I am getting into bed with you.” I informed him.  
  
“I’ll head into my room to shower.” Sam said.  
  
“Sweet, I get this one all to myself! Unless you feel like joining me.” Dean chuckled as I rolled my eyes at him, before ducking into the bathroom for the all of 5 minutes shower he was sure to take.  
  
I lay down in bed, hoping to fall asleep, but just as I was starting to drift into Dreamland, Dean burst back into the room saying,  
  
“Nope, no sleeping Mina. Bela knows where we are. At least… She knows about Sam’s room, so I’d rather get away from here.”  
  
“What do you mean she knows? And you left me here anyways?!” I shrieked.  
  
“She knows about Sam’s room. But not this one. So while the Impala wasn’t here you were safe. But now she’ll look for another room if we’re not in those beds.”  
  
“And how do plan on making her think you are in those beds?” I asked, completely irritated with him.  
  
Dean chuckled and led me to the other room so I could see the blow up dolls tucked neatly into their beds, wigs and all.  
  
“Wow. OK. Once Sam gets out we can leave.”  
  
Dean pulled me close and hugged me tight. We stayed like that until Sam got out of the shower and rolled his eyes at us.  
  


* * *

  
“Hiya Bela. I felt your hand in my pocket when you swiped that hotel receipt.” Dean sniped as he called the motel phone, catching Bela where I imagined she now sat upset at having been caught.  
  
“Oh I understand perfectly. You see I noticed something interesting in your hotel room. An herb, devil’s shoestring. Well there’s only one use for that. Holding hellhounds at bay. So you know what I did? I went back and took another look at you parents obit. They died, 10 years ago today. You didn’t kill ‘em. A demon did your dirty work. You made a deal. Didn’t you Bela? And it’s comin’ due.”  
  
I looked up at Dean in shock, I hadn’t been aware of that little tidbit. I couldn’t help the pity I felt welling up for her.  
  
“Is that why you stole the colt? Tryin’ to wriggle outta your deal? Your soul for the colt? But I’m guessin that wasn’t enough.”  
  
“Really? Wow. Demons, untrustworthy? Shocker. That’s uh, kind of a tight dead line too. What time is it? Oh look at that… almost midnight.”  
  
I could hear her crying even from where I sat.  
  
“Sweetheart we are weeks past help.”  
  
“You know what you’re right, you don’t. But you know what the bitch of the bunch is? If you had just come to us sooner and asked for help we probably could have saved you.”  
  
Dean’s voice dropped into a much harsher note as he told her,  
  
“I’ll see you in Hell.” And hung up.  
  


* * *

  
I watched him for a few minutes before glancing back at the SUV Sam was following us in, and then back over at Dean. Dean was silent, lips pursed in thought. I could guess where his thoughts were.  
  
Suddenly too tired to handle anymore, I laid down across the seat with my head on Dean’s leg. His hand began to thread its way through my hair.  
  
“Go to sleep Mina. I’ll keep you safe.”


	20. Darling You're Not Thinking Straight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Implied Main Character Death

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from "The Moment I Said It" by Imogen Heap.
> 
> Super good song, fits very well with the chapter, check it out.

A knocking on the door made me jump from my place at the kitchen table reading. Bobby was asleep on the couch and the boys were in the basement brainstorming last minute ideas, which left me to answer the door. Luna was passed out beside me and I leaned down to scratch her ear before getting up. I saw her ear twitch and follow me as I moved, Skender padded along beside me, eager and attentive.  
  
Skender had grown so big in the almost 5 months I’d had him. No longer just a fluffy puppy, he had already surpassed Luna in size. I thanked Dean every day for his gift and his thoughtfulness. Skender and Luna were precious to me. They were my companions when everyone was away hunting, my emotional support when I thought too much about the looming deadline, and a de-stresser when everything got to be too much. I smiled happily before remembering I was supposed to be answering the door when another knock sounded.  
  
Standing in front of me as I opened the door was UPS delivery guy, his brown truck parked in the driveway.  
  
“Is there a Mr. Dean Winchester present?” He asked with a smile.  
  
“He’s downstairs, I can sign for him.” I answered; eyes on the package under his arm.  
  
Taking the notepad I quickly scrawled my name and took the proffered box.  
  
“Have a nice day, Ma’am!” He said with a bounce to his step.  
  
Shutting the door behind me I headed to the basement to find Dean. The sight of the boys hunched over books and manuscripts, crazy metal contraptions, bowls and vials filled with herbs strewn over the tables greeted me.  
  
“Delivery for Dean Winchester.” I chanted.  
  
Dean’s bloodshot eyes took moment to focus on me.  
  
“Not right now Mina. We still can’t figure this out.” Dean said wiping his hands across his face.  
  
“Fine. I love opening packages.” I replied sticking my tongue out at him.  
  
Snagging one of the knives always present on my person, I slit the tape quickly and yanked open the box with zeal. A hard lump encased in bubble wrap had an envelope with Dean’s name written on it in cursive. I bypassed the letter and began unwrapping the object, giggling with glee as I popped bubble after bubble. I caught Sam throw me a bitchface but then chuckle as another snap filled the air.  
  
When I finally revealed the hidden item, I couldn’t quite comprehend what exactly it was I was seeing. I wasn’t sure I was right. How did it end up here?  
  
“Uh… Dean? Sammy?” I turned and held it out for them to see.  
  
“I said not n- Holy shit!” Dean shouted.  
  
“Is that the Colt?” Sam asked bewildered. “Who’s it from? How’d it get here?”  
  
Wordlessly I handed Dean the letter as Sam smoothed his fingers over the cold metal of our new hope. Dean scanned the letter before looking up at me,  
  
“Son of a bitch. It’s from Bela.”  
  
“What?!” Sam and I shrieked in unison.  
  
“Turns out she never really sold the Colt. She mailed it to me right after I visited her hotel room. Guess it got held up somewhere. Anyway, she knew she probably wasn’t gonna make it, but I guess she was hoping I’d be able to kill the bitch.”  
  
The 3 of us stared at each other, dumbfounded by the turn of events. This changed things, now we had something to pin our hopes on. I breathed out a sigh as a grin snaked its way across my face. What a piece of luck. It was still a shot in the dark, but at this point that was better than nothing.  
  
“Now we just need to find out where the cunt is.” I said to the boys.  
  
We all stood there smiling for a few more minutes before Dean’s face began to fall.  
  
“Look guys, this is great, but we still don’t know if this will be enough.”  
  
“It has to be, Dean.” Sam argued.  
  
“I’m not gonna let anyone else get hurt.” Dean used his older brother tone.  
  
“Guys, let’s just be happy for a minute. We still have tomorrow. Let’s go celebrate. I’m pretty sure I even have a pie in the fridge.” I pleaded wearily.  
  
Dean perked up at the word pie and Sam managed a smile. They were both tense but I had sidetracked them in any event. We trotted up the steps and into the kitchen. Opening up the fridge I was glad I had made a pie the night before. Dean grabbed a couple beers while Sam grabbed plates and I cut the pie.  
  
“Oh my god! Mina, I love your Coconut Banana Cream pie.” Dean swept in and kissed me on the cheek before snatching the biggest piece.  
  
I chuckled at him as I grumbled,  
  
“Pig.” At his back.  
  
I handed Sam his piece as I grabbed a handful of cookies from the jar I kept stocked next to the fridge. Joining the boys at the table I watched Dean stuff his mouth to bursting as I munched contentedly on my cookies.  
  
“Ya know.” Dean mumbled mouth still full, “for a girl who hates pie, you sure can make a mean one.”  
  
“Thanks,” I beamed at him.  
  
“Don’t be too flattered, he’s just glad he doesn’t have to share with you too.” Sam murmured to me with a twinkle in his eye.  
  
I burst into laughter as Dean looked at Sam with a look of betrayal shining from his eyes. I laughed even harder as I noted all of the whipped cream adorning his lips, nose, and chin. Dean glared at Sam and I as our fit of laughter strengthened and Bobby walked into the kitchen with a,  
  
“What are you 2 idjits cacklin’ about? Can’t a man get a nap around here?”  
  
Managing to get to my feet, between bouts of laughing, I managed to tell Bobby,  
  
‘We’re celebrating. Have some pie.” And cut him a piece.  
  
“I won’t say no to pie, but why are we celebrating?” He asked as he sat down and snatched Dean’s beer.  
  
“We got a very important package this afternoon.” I smirked setting a piece of pie and a new beer down in front of him.  
  
“What was in the package?” Bobby grumbled as Dean snatched his beer back.  
  
“Proton torpedoes and an exhaust vent.” Dean replied.  
  
“In English, boy?” Bobby was getting tired of the run around.  
  
“The Colt.” Sam interpreted.  
  
“What do you mean ‘The Colt’? Why would the Colt show up on our doorstep?”  
  
“Because Bela wants revenge even in death.”  
  
Bobby mulled that over as he savored his pie.  
  
“Guess that’s a step in the right direction. What do you plan on doing now?”  
  
Dean shook his head unsure. Sam piped in,  
  
“We just need to find out where Lilith is. Then we can take the next step.”  
  
“I might be able to rustle up a spell.” As if to prove his point, Bobby picked up his pie, nodded at me, and walked into his library to search for an answer.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
“Dean? Dean!” I yelled as I shook his shoulder, trying to wake him up from his nightmare.  
  
Dean opened his eyes with a gasp, as though he had been holding his breath underwater for too long. I chewed my lip as I stared at him, drawing in ragged breath after ragged breath. His nightmares had been steadily increasing as it got closer to the anniversary of his deal.  
  
“Sorry Mina.” Dean managed to breathe out. “Didn’t mean to wake you, go back to sleep.”  
  
“Dean, I…” I began, but shook my head and started over. “You’re dreaming about Hell; aren’t you?”  
  
Dean laid his head back and closed his eyes for a moment before opening them back up to answer.  
  
“I dream about the Hell hounds coming for me. I try to run away. But they always find me, just as they’re about to rip into me I wake up.” The pain hidden in his eyes melted my heart as I stared at the man I was probably about to lose.  
  
“Let me help you forget.” I whispered as I leaned down and gently kissed his lips.  
  
It was a tentative kiss, I was on the verge of crying; I had to focus on holding back my tears. I had to be strong for Dean. This wasn’t about me, it was about him.  
  
Pulling back, Dean’s face was a question mark. With a smile I wiggled down and pulled his boxers off. His cock wasn’t fully hard yet, but I knew that as soon as he realized what I was about to do, that would change. With a steadying breath, I bent down and pressed a kiss to the side of his dick.  
  
A sharp inhale had me flicking my eyes up to his face. As our eyes met, a spark passed between us and I held his gaze as I flattened my tongue and licked a wide path up to the head. Not breaking eye contact, I repeated this several times as he got harder and harder and his hand reached out to brush the hair from my face. Smirking up at him, I took the tip of him into my mouth, and flicked my tongue across the slit, before taking him as deep as I dared.  
  
I hated sucking someone’s dick, and Dean had never pushed me to, or even asked me to suck him. But on this possibly last of nights, I wanted to make sure that I had done everything I might possibly want to do in the future but couldn’t. Surprisingly, I even found myself growing wet at the pleasure of making him happy. Judging by the swear words and exclamations coming from Dean’s mouth, he wasn’t gonna complain about the new activity.  
  
I hummed as I bobbed up and down, happy that he was enjoying it. His fingers caressed the curve of my cheekbone, the line of my jaw, tender and gentle. His fingers tightened on either side of my face as he pulled me off and sat up to meet me, eyes filled with passion.  
  
“You are amazing,” he breathed right before my lips were crushed.  
  
He nipped and nibbled on my lip, lavishing attention on me. I tasted him, breathed him in, felt him all over my skin until it was too much and I shoved him back down on the bed. Straddling his hips, I lowered myself onto his cock, and with a moan felt how he filled me up.  
  
His hands were steady on my hips, helping me set a quick but steady rhythm. As I rode him we never lost eye contact. That stare was far more intimate than the act we were performing right that moment. As I stared into his eyes, I felt all the love he had for me, I basked in the warmth of his gaze, his being, his soul reaching out to me. I couldn’t explain it any other way, but I felt his soul reach out to me, I felt mine respond connect with his.  
  
Most humans don’t believe in the ability to feel a soul, some don’t even believe they exist. I myself had never truly imagined it was possible to feel the very essence of your own being. Yet in that moment, there was not a doubt in my mind that our souls were reveling in each other the same as our bodies.  
  
It was as if our souls were acting in the same manner as our flesh. As our limbs intertwined, so did our souls. As our souls cried out for each other, our voices softly echoed words of joy. In that final release of climax, our souls seemed to meld together as one. I would always carry a piece of him with me, and part of me would travel forever wherever he wandered.  
  
  


* * *

  
  
Later, cradled in a gentle embrace against his body, warm and fuzzy, nearly asleep, I heard a soft whisper as Dean kissed my forehead.  
  
“I love you.”  
  
“I love you too, Dean.” I murmured as sleep claimed me for her own.  
  
It didn’t even occur to me that this was the first and possibly only time I would ever hear him say that.  
  
Next morning I woke to an empty bed, a too quiet house, and a note on the pillow reading,  
  
 _I love you. I’m sorry. I promised I’d keep you safe. Don’t look for me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus ends the first part of this journey. It shall continue on from here in a new series. 
> 
> I'm not going to tell Dean's side of the story. I'm not going to talk about the hunt for Lilith the final night. It's the most painful season finale for me to watch and I've watched it umpteen times trying to get as close to canon as possible despite the changes I realized I'd have to make due to some short-sightedness on my part in the first several chapters.
> 
> I will say that everything the way I picture it is very similar to canon in my head, except Ruby was used to try and find out where Lilith is but she doesn't crack so that's why she gets stuck in the devil's trap. and that obviously, things still end with Dean being dragged to Hell.


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